The thing I wonder about timing..

[CoralRoses]

I'm currently pregnant with a girl and followed the dtd every 4 days method for the whole cycle like Atomic sometimes recommends to do. According to scans we last dtd the day before I ovulated x

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[atomic sagebrush]

This thread keeps coming back to me in the back of my mind and I just have to say this. This is coming back from a different thread and not anything posted explicitly in this thread but I believe it needs to be said.

Ladies, it is your sway, your way, and you guys are always, always welcome to sway however you want. That's why I have timing information on this site (I sell a timing book, for Pete's sake) and info about things like pH and drying up EWCM and stuff. But it is very much my job to explain the reasons why those things are probably not actually doing anything and the risks of including them (which are actually quite a big deal for people - going on and on not getting pregnant and then giving up everything makes a LOT of opposites that you never hear about on pro-timing sites because they don't include them in their stats). If I DIDN"T mention this stuff, if I sat on it so I wouldn't make waves, and never mentioned the downsides, that would be all but an endorsement of timing - either way I would be putting forth some opinion or the other. Whether I speak, or whether I don't, it sends a message. Since every other site on the internet is still reporting this as unquestioned gospel truth, I feel that I do a pretty major service by pointing out the science debunking it and the very real downsides of pursuing timing as a sway tactic.

Sometimes people want to characterize this as me "arguing" or squelching dissent, but it is really because they would be more comfy if I just parroted all the other sites and we were all in agreement - not because of any factual reason, but because it makes them more comfortable with the sways they want to have. They want all the "experts" to be in agreement because they want to feel they're doing the best sway that they can. It puts me in a hard position because I just answer questions that are asked - I can't make people like the answers.

Once fully informed, every person can make up their minds about the type of sway they want to do. If you think timing is a factor for you, by all means!!! At the end of it all, it is always your guys' decisions to make. But this idea that we on this forum have ever held a gun to anyone's head and "not let them" do timing, or that we are in any way, shape, or form, doing something wrong or inappropriate by not "toeing the party line" with timing - sorry, that is utterly unfair and untrue.

It is simply IMPOSSIBLE to blend all the sway tactics into one megasway. They try to do it on other sites and it does not work. People did not get pregnant. People's marriages blew up in part because of the stress of extreme swaying. People ended up severely ill and in the hospital trying to blend all these things together. People went on swaying for 2 years only to get opposites! And some people who I started off with in 2008 still do not have children today because of this, because they wasted the precious years from their fertile window chasing things that do not work, and/or they alienated their husbands so severely over sway tactics that the men simply refused to TTC any more. AT some point we have to choose to do things that work vs. smothering ourselves doing things that don't work and only prevent conception.

I am fine with people blaming me for their failed sways as a general rule, but I think a line needs to be drawn when it is being said vocally (not in this thread but yes, this did happen) or implied, that I am keeping info from people, posting misleading information on this site regarding timing, or forcing anyone not to use timing when clearly I am doing no such thing. If I wanted to keep timing from you guys, I would delete my essays on how to do timing, I'd cease answering questions where I help people do timing - I do this daily, and I'd stop selling my timing book and OPK book both of which include directions on how to use timing for a sway.

It is the other sites that are keeping info from people - the science that indicates timing doesn't work, and the fact that they are hiding the downsides of chasing "impossible sways". When I report on these things I am doing what I consider to be my job and trying to unravel the mysteries of swaying to help as many people as I can.

So if that implication could be laid to rest now, I would really appreciate it, because I do not deserve it and it kind of hurts my feelings to be honest with you.

[EnglishDame]

Oh I'm so sorry Atomic I really hope I haven't in any way made you feel like I question your judgement, I think you are amazing at what you do on this site. I've learnt so much and so much that I can understand when I think about people I know and the genders of their children and of course my own.

Please don't think I was questioning what you advise at all.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh I'm so sorry Atomic I really hope I haven't in any way made you feel like I question your judgement, I think you are amazing at what you do on this site. I've learnt so much and so much that I can understand when I think about people I know and the genders of their children and of course my own.

Please don't think I was questioning what you advise at all.

No, it wasn't you at all, this is coming over from a different thread and this thread just reminded me of it.

I want you guys to always, always ask me my reasoning behind my suggestions and I'm always happy to back it up. Then, you can always decide for yourselves about what to do. Your sway, your way!!!

I just do not like when an implication is made that opposites are happening because I"m "hiding" timing from people. Just is not the case. Not even a little.

[onelastsway]

Me too! I really hope I haven't made you feel that way. Like I said before, I fully appreciate all the stuff I've learnt on here. It's brilliant and I've changed so many things I wouldn't have even realised. There is so much great information and it is all so honest - I can't see how you would ever be accused of hiding something. I guess when people get opposites, sometimes they feel the need to blame someone. As far as I see it, I have more chance of getting a girl after reading your information and, if I get a boy, he's the one that's supposed to complete my family. So I'm grateful either way!

[atomic sagebrush]

No, not at all, and I always, always want you guys to feel free to bring up and discuss anything under the sun when it comes to swaying. but I will chime in with my opinion, not to be argumentative but just to share the reasoning behind why I do recommend the things I do. After that point, everyone can make up their minds and have the kinds of sways that they want to do. All totally cool.

I am sometimes highly passionate about that (some would say overly) but it is because I've seen people go through the wringer chasing this stuff and i really, really want you guys to succeed with swaying without it wrecking you. Two of my best friends when I first started swaying, had their lives largely wrecked by it. Swaying for 1-2 years doing timing and all the rest, both never got pregnant while swaying, both went on to have tens of thousands of fertility treatments and several miscarriages, one ended up getting a baby not her desired gender and sadly divorced, and the other never got pregnant again at all. These things do really, really have an effect on your long term lives and I hear this story again and again. Getting an opposite sucks, no doubt, but the alternative that could come to pass can suck a lot harder.

Putting soapbox away now.