My sway has failed...devastated

[GlitterMouse]

Allie and throwaway, thank you for your support ladies. I really appreciate your insightful replies and you've given me lots to think about.

Also, thank you for your passionate support ChezlBY!You made me giggle thinking about you with your baseball bat and I imagined you with me on the school run this morning! Yep, I'm afraid people were very cruel when I had my second son which is why I've been so anxious this time. My little boys would be tucked into their double buggy and people (strangers and 'friends') would enjoy a good dig at us "Oh poor you" etc etc etc

Amazingly, 2 weeks on since my news and I'm doing ok. My GD has already begun to shift and I am excited about our new boy. My sons were beyond excited when we told them and their complete joy was like medicine for me. DH and I have told everyone we know so I could face all the nasty comments now before baby arrives but surprisingly everyone had been so lovely and positive. I've had a couple of wobbles but am growing stronger and finding ways of dealing with it-mainly through my boys. My relationship with them is brilliant. They are fun and funny and truly wonderful people. I see them (and thankfully this baby now) as completely separate from my gender desire which has shifted away from disappointment. My recovery will be through living in the moment and through loving my boys. They will be healing my heart without ever knowing it.

DH and I are tentatively investigating HT. Its a huge undertaking for us, would involve a logistical nightmare as far as our children are concerned, age is not on our side and it would be a big ask financially. He is not keen on me doing another sway as he doesn't want the anguish of it not working for me again and I do agree. I am of course truly grateful to Atomic for developing these sway methods and don't regret having a go. It just didn't work out for me.

In the meantime, I'm taking each day as it comes, bonding with my baby bump and trying to enjoy life. I know I will have dips, there have been some bad ones in the past couple of weeks but I've amazed myself at my progress to date.

I am very grateful for all of the support I have received here. I have summoned your comments in low times and they have been of great comfort. Thank you everyone.

Wishing you all happiness and inner peace x