I'm a horrible person

[atomic sagebrush]

I even get a bit jealous and bitter here occasionally when I see comments like "oh boys are so easy to make". I know it's not their intention and given the percentage of pink swayers here I'm clearly not the target audience for these comments but it does make it hard to see so many women here have something that I desperately want. I flip flop some days about having #3 and try and be happy with what I've got but when I realise I've thought about having a little boy almost every day for the last 2 years I can't help but think we've got to give this one last go.

It's not even true either - it may even be harder for some people to get boys than it is to get girls. I'm sorry I try to nip that in the bud when I see it but sometimes it sneaks past me.

[ksmom]

I even get a bit jealous and bitter here occasionally when I see comments like "oh boys are so easy to make". I know it's not their intention and given the percentage of pink swayers here I'm clearly not the target audience for these comments but it does make it hard to see so many women here have something that I desperately want. I flip flop some days about having #3 and try and be happy with what I've got but when I realise I've thought about having a little boy almost every day for the last 2 years I can't help but think we've got to give this one last go.

I was at the dentist one day and this lady in the waiting room saw I had three boys and commented "boys are hard to make, girls are so easy. Women are more likely to have a girl than a boy." 😭 Oh yeah? Then why can't I have just ONE girl?? People don't realize how much of what they say can hurt even if they don't mean for it.

[atomic sagebrush]

I was at the dentist one day and this lady in the waiting room saw I had three boys and commented "boys are hard to make, girls are so easy. Women are more likely to have a girl than a boy." �� Oh yeah? Then why can't I have just ONE girl?? People don't realize how much of what they say can hurt even if they don't mean for it.

Not even true anyway as gender ratio is usually 105 boys for every 100 girls. I wonder if that was some sort of weird attempt at a compliment?? People are so strange, how about "what adorable boys you have"?

[ksmom]

Lol I don't know! I think that's maybe what people told her because she was happy to finally have a boy after two girls. It'd be nice if people could just say "oh what a lovely family you have" and leave it at that...or just don't say anything at all!

[atomic sagebrush]

Ah yes, that makes sense too!!! I wonder how many of the crazy comments we get are borne out of someone else's gender disappointment experience.

[ksmom]

Probably more than we realize. I got an awful lot of negative comments from complete strangers when I was pregnant with DS3. I really hated the "But don't you want a girl" or "you need a girl" comments (wasn't aware I could choose boy or girl?). I had one mom at DS1's school come up to me chatting, all very friendly. Then she asked me what I was having and after I told her, she just quickly walked away without saying a word. I guess she didn't have anything nice to say. lol

[trifecta]

I don't think anyone should feel guilty about these kinds of emotions. It's utterly normal to feel jealous. As long as you aren't saying anything rude to these people in real life don't feel guilty on top of it. GD is hard enough as it is.

[Pinklaundryplease]

I have not really introduced myself, and probably won't , on this site because I don't want friends who get their desired gender near the time I might find out that I don't. Let's be honest, with four boys this has happened to me a few times. I love my boys, but I always wanted a girl more during the anomaly scan, and it stings that other people are so elated to find out they are having their desired gender, and I never have.
However, I am one of the lucky ones who falls insanely head over heels for her baby! The experience is divine! I am always in a state of awe and bliss with each baby, and I think everyone has something hard to deal with when it comes to bringing children into this world, sometimes I am glad mine is just that I don't have a girl, and I can still have a family and amazing hubby.

I am not judging anyone who gets bitter when other people find out they are having a girl, goodness knows many days I am right there with you! But it helps to take a step back, and realize the blessings we have, it at least eases the pain temporarily😉. In my case my fourth boy, an absolute doll, was in the nicu after a full term birth because he couldn't breath. The doctors said on a scale of 1-10 ( 10 being dead) he was about a 7. He was born on Christmas Eve. And Christmas Day we were not 100% sure he would survive. I remember thinking if he lives, I will have what I want more than anything in the world. I begged and prayed that I would not have to bury my precious baby. He progressed and we took him home three weeks later on oxygen. Every day I think how lucky I am to have him. It doesn't take away the deep pain of not having a girl, but at least I know I have been blessed equally, boys are not worth less than girls, and if the next one is a boy I know there is room in my heart to adore him, I just might have to live with an occasional ache for a girl, which at the moment sounds like I could do it, and some days I feel like I really really don't want to, so I get it. Gender dreaming is a bit of a roller coaster.

[Kawazza]

Why do I get so upset/jealous/anxious when anyone announces they are having a girl..
I don't even know some of these people yet it can completely ruin my day.. or week
The worst is when someone is pregnant, doesn't find out and then reveal it's a girl
Why does that kill me so much?
I could just sit and cry?
BUT I want these people to be happy, I would never wish for someone to be unhappy so why do I cope so badly with it?

One minute I think yes I'm swaying, I picture myself with a girl etcetc
Then the next day I could just sit and cry because I know i will never be lucky enough!

Anyone else feel the same? Or am I just mental!


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Oh Yes, I've felt it. I felt awful about it and understand your feelings. I Really really wanted a little girl, and when we found out We were having our second boy We didn't tell anyone what we were having because I needed time to come to terms with it in my own way without people's silly comments like, "better luck next time", "you'll have your hands full etc".

A week before he was due a cousin had a gender reveal party. They did have a preference for a girl and lucky for them they got a girl. we didn't go to the party which I'm not proud of, I was just trying to be kind to myself. Our absence was noted and they probably thought it was weird but for once I had to put me first, and with much convincing my husband supported me and didn't go either.

As our children are only 5 months apart, at family gatherings they constantly remind me that THEY have a GIRL. Omg it drives me nuts.

Anyway I'm trying to say I understand, and don't think your horrible. Plenty of us have felt it.