Frequency question .... what about 5, 6 abstinence? Atomic????

[nini]

sorry, Honeyrose, you are Babypink3 on here, LOL --- Hope you know I meant you...

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you Atomic!!! you have certainly put my mind at ease. and you a so full of knowledge! I've been beating myself about this for ages. I feel like if I had of gotten a boy this would have been why. The thing is I have a DD, and a DS already and I know for a fact that we didnt dtd every day nor abstain 7+ days with her, infact the frequency was more like every 3-4 days. we werent swaying but my diet was very girly.
I know this wouldnt always work for everyone but it certainly shows the importance of the diet alone.
So just another question, if someone abstains 5days then DTD 2 days a row, I mean I assume the sperm from the 2nd night BD would have been the one that got my pregnant. would this have been from high sperm count or leftover batch from the abstinence... if you know what I mean? Would it have time to replenish after 24 hours?

No, you cannot make that assumption at all. In fact, depending on the timing of how it all goes down and when the egg shows up, only the first batch of sperm may even have TIME to capacitate. An uncapacitated sperm (and they take at minimum 4 hours for the earliest ones to capacitate) cannot fertilize an egg. So if you had had sperm in your VJ in advance of the egg, and then DTD after that, and sometime in there the egg showed up, the earlier sperm would already be ready to go (and prob. would have already fertilized the egg) before the second batch of sperm was even ready to go.

This is even true if you did not ovulate, because not all sperm capacitate right away. They have some primitive form of communication and they can coordinate when they capacitate, so some sperm from either batch will always be waiting uncapacitated and basically dormant, others will be capacitated and looking for an egg, and others will have capacitated and died (they don't live that long after capacitation.) This is an ongoing process so the sperm from the second batch will simply get with the program of whatever the first batch were doing. Sperm from either batch has just as good a shot at the egg (given that the environment was equally sperm friendly, of course!) as long as one wasn't like 7 days earlier or something.

As an illustration of how this works, you may have seen or read about a woman who had intercourse with two diff. guys and ended up with twins of different races - that HAD to be sperm from two diff. batches and odds are that they were separated by hours or more likely days - yet they both had equal shot at the eggs!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm curious about this too. If dtd the second day would be bad b/c of replenished sperm? If I don't get a bfp I am wondering if we should do abstain next month...

Amari, when you are on Clomid, you should not do abstain.

DTD the second day is not bad because of "replenished sperm" not only because of what I spelled out above (the sperm don't all capaciate at the same time anyway so at any given moment, only a few are even capable of fertilizing the egg) but also because when you're on Clomid and/or swaying, your internal environment is so sperm-hostile that most of the sperm may die prematurely anyway. So you have less sperm even if you BD 10 times as much.