I almost feel embarassed...is that weird??

[angel in a pink sky]

I am going to keep everything crossed hoping you hear girl. I know you are scared I have been in your shoes myself and felt everything you are feeling right now. When you have GD you wear your heart on your sleeve for everyone's "innocent" comments to break it. I found being upbeat even if you're faking it does help and it gives them the feeling there is something wrong with them for not wanting all the same gender. I have the person in my proffesional life who everytime i am pregnant tells me he hopes it is girl because if it is a boy i am will be sorry becasuse his son never talks to him. Well two boys later i finally told him to seek therapy with his son because it is not boys or girls there is something wrong with his relationship with his son. I went on to tell him my husband talks to his parents four to five times a day. It stopped him in his tracks As for the loud rowdy boys, if you can't beat them, join them. I love to wrestle my sons, play trucks and watch their boy movies. I am a very girly girl and I do not loose my feminine side you just become more well rounded. My dad has three girls and now goes to nordstrom and Bloomingdales like a champ he still is a true guys guy but my mom says having daughters softened him. In the end life is what you make of it. Whatever happens hold your head up high and have fun because living well is the best revenge!

[fivebabies]

I've actually heard that if you have 2 of the same gender then the likelyhood of getting the same for #3 is over 90%.

I really hope your get what you want! We've all been there though. (((hugs)))

[Cinss]

I understand the embarassment feeling, even though i haven't even concieved my next baby yet, i have talked to everyone i know about my sway attempts. I try to educate people about the possibility of swaying and let them all know we are hoping to get a boy next. Now i feel if we get a girl, everyone is going to tell me how crazy i was to sway and put all of my faith into it, i am going to feel like a fraud.

[begonia]

Embarrassed is the exact emotion I felt with my girls. I felt weak because we couldn't make a boy. I always look at boy moms as tough ladies( that's a compliment). I think a lot of us get what you feel. People make dumbass comments and as much as we don't want to be affected by them, unless you're made of stone you can't help but be.

I ditto this. Having 3 of a kind has definitely made me feel embarrassed. Not only for the whole bit about everyone saying once you have 2 of a kind you'll have 3 of a kind, so this 3rd girl proves them right when I SO badly wanted to prove them wrong, but also because for me they are all girls... like NBP said, it made me feel weak. For many reasons that girlmom mentioned ... it's not like we're able to carry on family name, there's no "strong" image for the DH/DW in having all daughters, and historically/biblically having all girls hasn't been looked at as some kind of mark of success. Like you, I didn't anticipate this embarrassment and it's been one of the harder things in my GD this time.

Yes *many* people do see 3+ of a kind (boys or girls) as something to pity... but just know that no matter what others think or say there is NOTHING to be embarrassed about whether it's 3+ boys or 3+ girls. There's not a single thing wrong with any of us; it is not at all that you wouldn't be a fantastic mom to a girl. We rolled the dice and it came up the same way every time; it's not like this is a game of effort and you didn't try hard enough, or a test and you answered the questions wrong, it's a game of chance. When people make comments like "of course after 3 girls it's another" I just smiled and said I like to be consistent. And actually, last week I kind of snapped at someone and said that "ACTUALLY the facts are it is very close to 50/50 every time. I happen to have all girls, yes, but I don't consider it a given that any of my future children will also be female." She was taken aback and nervously laughed and said something about guessing I'd gotten tired of hearing comments. I smiled and said "yes." It's amazing to me that the gender thing feels like an OK topic for people to opine on... can you imagine someone saying "Oh pity! You had another blue eyed child. Sure wish you could've made one with green this time."

Like Angel-in-a-Pink-Sky said, all you can do it try to hold your head up high. Easier said than done, I know, because I too am still torn up about what I don't have. When I'm having a really rough day I focus on the long-run. Picture yourself decades from now, proud of your grown sons and surrounded by grandchildren, terrific little people who wouldn't be there if not for these kids you are raising now. In the long-run I think we're gaining far more joy and love in our lives by having another child... boy or girl. Don't lose sight of the beautiful forest because of these terrible GD trees. You're building a family here and it's going to be wonderful. ((HUGS))

[jude17]

I've actually heard that if you have 2 of the same gender then the likelyhood of getting the same for #3 is over 90%.

Well that makes me feel really depressed. May as well give up right now if that's really true!

[annabel♥lee]

Beautiful words, Begonia. Thank you. ♥

Jude - i really don't think that's accurate. Studies have shown it's about 50/50 each time. I feel like people just say that to us to upset us for some reason.

[fivebabies]

Oh, I really wasn't trying to upset anyone. That's what I was told with my #3....I think they were trying to make me feel better....Sorry.

[Messyhair]

Any updates on what the scan revealed? I'm kind of torn on whether I want a girl or another boy, but if I conceive a girl, it will be the only girl in this generation for my side of the family. I'm feeling the pressure to have a girl...

[Myloves]

Well that makes me feel really depressed. May as well give up right now if that's really true!

I don't think fivebabies meant to upset you, hun x
If it makes you feel better, I had a daughter after two sons and I didn't even sway! And two of my cousins have the same family make up as me.

[bodhi]

I think I can relate, though I don't yet have three of a kind (I'm expecting boy #2). Some of the comments have been downright nasty, but I think the worst is being told that it shouldn't be a surprise because I really seem like more of a boy mom. WTF? That made me feel totally unfeminine and unworthy of ever having a daughter. I kind of feel like everyone was rooting against me just because I wanted it so badly, and I'm ashamed that I was ever foolish enough to think that I could be "girl mom". I expected to feel lots of things if this turned out to be a boy, but the shame took me by surprise.