1 or 2 attempts after abstain?

[_Lala_]

Thanks Atomic, you're always so good at promptly getting back to all our questions!!
So last night I freaked out because I thought I had missed my lh surge so we dtd at 10pm after abstain. I had read your new essay on bd and timing yesterday so decided we should dtd again after our first attempt. So at 1am I woke DP up and we dtd again. This arvo I got my smiley so I hadn't actually missed my lh surge which I guess now means I did a 2 day cut-off. Even though it didn't go to plan, i was going to bd at pos opk, I guess it doesn't really matter having a bit of a cut-off. But now I'm starting to stress that 3 hours was too long a gap between bd and that sperm numbers may have increased too much. I know that you've said no more than 6 hours, and we didn't get pregnant last cycle with 1 attempt at o-1, and i am usually super fertile, so i think dps sperm count is rather low. Please reassure me that 2 bds in 3 hours was fine and not too boy-friendly...please? I'm trying to keep everything in perspective because i know you think that all of this sways the least, but I just don't want to have messed it all up!

[atomic sagebrush]

It's fine, Lala! 3 hours is not too much. 12 hours is too much!!

Even if it had been 12 hours, no worries anyway. A lot of what we talk about is the ideal vs. the real world. People want to know what I think the "best" way is and that's what I suggest, but that doesn't mean that you can't get a girl (or boy) doing something different. When I conceived this baby I'm pg with now, we BD about every 4 days and that is ideal for a boy - but she's a girl!!

[_Lala_]

Oh Atomic!! You're always so good at making me feel better, lol. Today I actually feel a lot better about the whole thing. When you're caught up in it you start worrying about every little thing you did or didn't do. DP said to me last night, just stop over thinking everything! And I knew he was right. I remember reading one of the threads that you had written that really resonated with me, can't remember which one it is now, but you basically said its the whole package that counts, not the minor deails, for eg. Doesn't really matter if it's 7 days or 12 days abstain as long as numbers are decreased, doesn't really matter if it's 1600 or 1500 calories as long as you're losing weight, doesn't really matter if you splurge one day as long as your diet overall is low everything. We all get consumed in the fine details of our sway when these minor things aren't going to define whether we have a boy or a girl. Every now and then I lose my perspective on the whole thing; thanks for always bringing me back!

[atomic sagebrush]

You're very welcome!!! It's the ol' 80-20 rule - you get 80% of the results from 20% of the effort, and to get that last 20% you have to expend 80% of the effort. With swaying, that's really dangerous because expending 80% of the effort can make your T levels go thru the roof, and Mother Nature may not WANT us to get that last 20% anyway because if swaying could ever be 100%, the entire human race would have died out a long time ago! So not only do you expend tons of potentially T-raising energy chasing that last 20%, those things may not even gain you anythign anyway. The 80% is what we're after and the rest is in God's hands!!