Do you think that people know that I am avoiding them because they have my DG?

[shouldihope?]

So obviously my DS4 is here. It was a bit of a roller coaster at the end. I was admitted to the hospital for high bp and protein in my urine. It was amazing how so many of my friends came together and supported our family by visiting me in the hospital and bringing meals to my family to help my DH out. Truly feel guilty about all of the emotions I had this pregnancy. They finally induced me and after a rough labor that included a severe medication reaction from a med to stop my vomiting, DS4 was born on May 1st. I have to say I loved him immediately as soon as they laid him on my chest. He is by no means my easiest baby but he is starting to smile and he is adorable. (The interesting thing is almost every nurse I had in the hospital had 3 or 4 boys.) Anyway I am not saying everything is roses and sunshine. For some reason we have struggled with bfing this time even though I have bf'd all of mine until they were between 8-14 months this time has been incredibly painful. The NP has put me on some anti-anxiety anti-depressants and I feel like I am doing much better. I would love a DD but I don't want another child. In fact some days I feel like I will totally be okay if we do not have a DD. That is something I have never thought before. I do wish I would have tried taking some meds or getting counseling before I started on this journey for #4 because it is very stressful having 4 no matter the gender but I don't know what I would do without him either. He was meant to be. I know that when I look at him and he smiles. I know it when his older brothers fight over who gets to hold him. So thanks to everyone for all the encouragement. Sometimes this is the only place I can go and not feel crazy and alone.

[auroara78]

thanks for update, and it was very touching and real.