Roll-call!! Due June/July/August 2013

[Mommyof3boys]

Since everyone has been discussing their MIL stories I thought I would share mine. Honestly my MIL is very distant with me and I have never really been accepted but she reaLly hasn't said too much to make me mad but there are two things that she did early in my marriage that I will always remember.

I will start with a little history first. My husband is the oldest of 4 boys. His dad was extremely abusive and caused his mother to be hospitalized many times and almost lost their 3rd son because of it. Party because of the abuse the boys spent LOT of time with their grandparents (fathers parents). Because of this DH was very close to his grandparents. DH's parents finally got divorced when he was 12, and his mom didn't want him to have any contact with his dad or grandparents, but he had spent so much of his childhood with his grandfather in particular that that was extremely hard for him. His mom got remarried within a year to his stepdad and while he was never abusive o DH he was never treated very well be either his mom or stepdad (DH is very similar to his dad in many ways so I'm sure his mom struggled with that, he is not abusive though). Anyway DH ended up living with his grandparents through high school and college, they even paid for most of his college tuition.

Fast forward a little we dated for 3 years and got engaged to get married the next year. DH's brother dated a few months got pregnant and decided to get married in March (while we were engaged). When they got married they gave them a washer and dryer for a gift. When we got married they gave us a casserole dish. It bothered DH a little but I didn't really care at that point. I got pregnant 2 months before our wedding by suprise and miscarried at 8 weeks. A couple of weeks later MIL through my SIL a baby shower for their baby. They asked me to get there early because they wanted to show me something so I got there early and they took me in the garage and showed me a handmade cradle that my FIL had made for them and it was BEAUTIFUL. I loved it. Afterwards they showed me plans that they had and the different styles that they could make and even discussed what kind I liked. This was all very emotional for me because I had just lost my baby and was still grieving.

Fast forward a few months and I got pregnant with ds1. We were so excited and I thought about that cradle and could not wait. I talked about it to my mom and sister and they were excited too. As my due date got closer I waited in anticipation for them to mention a baby shower and they never did so when my mom threw me one I thought that maybe they would bring the cradle then. The day came and I was so excited I didn't really care about anything else I just couldn't wait to see my cradle. I watched and watched for a gift that looked like it might be it. When I opened gifts I got to one from my MIL it was small so I thought that maybe they brought a small gift and was going to give me it afterwards. I opened the gift and it was one yellow crib sheet. And I thought "why would they give me a crib sheet that won't even fit on my cradle". Still thinking that the cradle they discussed with me was on the way. They day went on and no cradle ever showed up. Ds1 birthday came and went and the cradle was never mentioned. I was heartbroken. To this day 11 years and3 more pregnancies they have not once mentioned the cradle. My DH and I do joke about it though. After we found out about this pregnancy I asked him if he thought I would finally get my cradle. He said he thinks I might. LOL.

[Justjessica]

I survived the weekend thank goodness! So pleased to be back home. I'm so glad I had your nice comments to get me through! I agree we should def have a MIL forum.

[Justjessica]

Since everyone has been discussing their MIL stories I thought I would share mine. Honestly my MIL is very distant with me and I have never really been accepted but she reaLly hasn't said too much to make me mad but there are two things that she did early in my marriage that I will always remember.

I will start with a little history first. My husband is the oldest of 4 boys. His dad was extremely abusive and caused his mother to be hospitalized many times and almost lost their 3rd son because of it. Party because of the abuse the boys spent LOT of time with their grandparents (fathers parents). Because of this DH was very close to his grandparents. DH's parents finally got divorced when he was 12, and his mom didn't want him to have any contact with his dad or grandparents, but he had spent so much of his childhood with his grandfather in particular that that was extremely hard for him. His mom got remarried within a year to his stepdad and while he was never abusive o DH he was never treated very well be either his mom or stepdad (DH is very similar to his dad in many ways so I'm sure his mom struggled with that, he is not abusive though). Anyway DH ended up living with his grandparents through high school and college, they even paid for most of his college tuition.

Fast forward a little we dated for 3 years and got engaged to get married the next year. DH's brother dated a few months got pregnant and decided to get married in March (while we were engaged). When they got married they gave them a washer and dryer for a gift. When we got married they gave us a casserole dish. It bothered DH a little but I didn't really care at that point. I got pregnant 2 months before our wedding by suprise and miscarried at 8 weeks. A couple of weeks later MIL through my SIL a baby shower for their baby. They asked me to get there early because they wanted to show me something so I got there early and they took me in the garage and showed me a handmade cradle that my FIL had made for them and it was BEAUTIFUL. I loved it. Afterwards they showed me plans that they had and the different styles that they could make and even discussed what kind I liked. This was all very emotional for me because I had just lost my baby and was still grieving.

Fast forward a few months and I got pregnant with ds1. We were so excited and I thought about that cradle and could not wait. I talked about it to my mom and sister and they were excited too. As my due date got closer I waited in anticipation for them to mention a baby shower and they never did so when my mom threw me one I thought that maybe they would bring the cradle then. The day came and I was so excited I didn't really care about anything else I just couldn't wait to see my cradle. I watched and watched for a gift that looked like it might be it. When I opened gifts I got to one from my MIL it was small so I thought that maybe they brought a small gift and was going to give me it afterwards. I opened the gift and it was one yellow crib sheet. And I thought "why would they give me a crib sheet that won't even fit on my cradle". Still thinking that the cradle they discussed with me was on the way. They day went on and no cradle ever showed up. Ds1 birthday came and went and the cradle was never mentioned. I was heartbroken. To this day 11 years and3 more pregnancies they have not once mentioned the cradle. My DH and I do joke about it though. After we found out about this pregnancy I asked him if he thought I would finally get my cradle. He said he thinks I might. LOL.

I'm so shocked, I don't know what to say. That seems very unfair. I can't understand why anyone would do that for one son but not another??? It sounds like your DH has had a really tough ride with his family. Thank goodness he has you and your lovely children.

[Atsaukina1]

hope dh is making you one this time i love those handmade cradles my friend got 1 and it's just soo adorable-fx for ya

[Mommyof3boys]

Unfortunately if DH made me one it would probably be a dresser drawer with legs or something because he is not handy at all with tools.

At this point if they made me one now I wouldn't know what to think, but they like me even less now so I'm definetly not going to hold my breath. They have never treated him like the others I think it is because he reminds his mom of his dad but it isn't his fault he looks like him. It really is just a running joke between us now so at least we get to have a little laugh about it every now and then.

[cvd]

Aw super sorry about the cradle incident. I agree, I dunno what Id think either if they made one now really sad you and your DH have had to go through all that.


I had an opposite cradle experience. My MIL tried to force me to use a cradle that was totally hideous and humongous. She was so mad when we told her it was just too big for our room lol.

[Atsaukina1]

lol sorry dh isn't handy lol but at least you guys can laugh about it

[Jadis]

Ha! I'm in the same boat as CVD. We've been handed down a cradle that is a bonefide family heirloom. Three generation of kids (including my FIL) have slept in that cradle and it's been truly cherished by many moms....but not me. I effing hate it. Plus, my DH is the youngest of his siblings so guess who has to store this piece of crap for at least 10 years until I can hand it down to my eldest niece when she has a baby. I swear as I hand it off to her I'll say "it's yours now, sucka. No giving it back!"

[LO123]

Mommyof3boys, what a story and very upsetting for all of you over the years. I am happy you can laugh about it now. If it were me and they gave me one now I would probably laugh in their face.

[Pearl327]

Wow. I am really sorry for all you who have to deal with horrible MILS. I would just like to say that mine is really fantastic in lots of little ways.
I was so afraid that she wouldn't be as DH is the only boy out of 7 kids.