Due dec'14-jan/feb'15 part 2

[lala22]

Oh boy- staying home is a tough one. For our first by the time we paid for daycare I didn't make enough for it to be worth me working so I stayed home the first couple of years and then found flexible work. Currently I am a real estate agent ( doing very little business) not because we don't need the money but because it's excruciatingly hard to work from home, manage the house and a 4 yr old and be pregnant. I think my plan is to keep doing this until all of our kids are in school and then go back to a more dependable and regular salary.

[lala22]

On another note- has anyone ever experienced (or know somebody who has) decreasing HCG levels and spotting at 11 weeks? I have a friend who has been having issues and everything I find on the web is 50/50. Her last pregnancy ended in a 2nd trimester miscarriage but she was so much healthier this time around my fingers were crossed. She's already heard a healthy heartbeat but this recent turn of events has us worried.

[Marika]

About staying home or not - many countries seem to have a very high costs for daycare and kindergarten. I understand that it might not always be worth working if most salary goes to just pay the fees.

How long are your maternity leave?

Sweden have very high income taxes compared to most other countries (20-40%), but we also have a generous financial support for all parents. We can stay home for at least 1-1,5 years and get 80% of our salary, so most stay at home for that long. If choosing to use less money a month, it's possible to stay at home longer, the sum is yours to use over 8 years as you want.

I chose to start working part time after 1,5 years with both boys and then use parental insurance for the rest of the time.

Daycare here is cheap (although many swedes often complain about it, they want it to be completely free, which it actually is after a certain age) so most kids do go there. The cost is adjusted to your income, but the maximum you pay is around 140 euro (170 usd) a month. (If more than one child, fee is lower for the rest of the kids.)

When I was young(er) I had quite a few friends (and me included) who went abroad to UK, US or southern europe to work as nannies. I didn't really think about why it was so common in other countries but I do understand now. It must have been much cheaper than kindergarten, especially if having more than one child.

[Marika]

lala: sorry, I've no clue about the HCG-levels and spotting, but I hope your friend and her baby are gonna be ok!

[kitkat18]

I did it for six years and loved it! But I also love working now too for me part time is ideal, currently full time but going back four days per week one year after this baby is born X
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[Georgia_Peach]

I left my ft job as a mortgage broker. The hours were crazy and i was commuting two hours a day in car. I decided to stay at home and open my own newborn/baby/family photography business. So far its going well. My hubby does make enough so that we don't have to rely on my business's money... bc its not all that lucrative when you just start! But i enjoy picking my kids uo from school and getting work done around the house all day. I truly feel like the house alone needs a person there 24-7. Bc of the chores to do. Lol.
Weve basically said that i will return to work probably after baby girl is in full day kindergarten. But im in no rush. That being said.. i miss out on maternity leave. . Which here is 80% of earnings for a year. Always had that with the boys and that was helpful. And bc were down to one income there are sacrifices that have to be made. Its a hard decision for sure.

[angielorna]

Just booked my anatomy scan. Dr said 19 weeks, they booked me in for 18w5d. Said it was fine, so I did. Last night I was contemplating doing it at 17w5 days so I could find out and go crazy at the mom to mom sale and buy gender specific stuff. Opted against that (I figured I'd just get to go for another one if it was too early, hehe). I have been on the fence about finding out the gender. My mom is super pushy about knowing. I'll most likely cave. I was thinking at 4 a.m. this morning when i couldn't sleep that maybe knowing the gender will help me feel more attached/excited or make it feel more real. IDK. So confused!!!

Angie

[kitkat18]

So hard Angie!! You can always find out then tell people you are team green so you have time to process everything a few people are doing that in march, April, may thread. If you get your DG you can always say it was a team green fail then tell everyone!
I too am going back and forth about what to do but this option for me takes sting out of third boy comments and time for us to get over any GD before birth, good luck!! Its a tough one! Only you know what is right for you! Good luck 18 weeks is perfect for gender/anatomy scan XX
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[angielorna]

Thanks kitkat That's a good strategy. I was considering doing a gender reveal if we chose to find out and then I thought it might be better to do one privately before publically. So DH and I can have a special "find out" experience and process before telling others. I'm thinking of not finding out and telling my mom I did and it's a boy. So she can get over her GD and deal with it and be surprised if baby's a girl. LOL.

I still have 2 weeks to decide. Holy cow, two weeks TODAY!!!!

Angie

[Abifasc]

I stay at home. I have a degree in fine art which I could do a few things with but I've always wanted to just be a mom. Daycare is expensive here and I would want my kids in a "good" one and those are very expensive, like $800 a month. When Micah (if he stays the baby) is old enough for pre-k I will probably teach art at the school where my husband is principal, but it's hard to plan that far in advance.

On another note, my prenatal appointment went well today. Micah is very very active and ran from the Doppler which was funny because I could feel him kicking hard to get away from it. Heartbeat of 143. The nurse said it was a "boy heartbeat" and I said I already know he's indeed a boy and she said I'm lucky to have three of them. I've been hearing that statement a lot lately which is very healing and encouraging how "lucky" I am to be a mom of three boys. I sure did want a daughter, but I am beginning to think I will wait and just enjoy my three crazies �� anatomy scan is scheduled for the 26th.