Due March/April/May 2017 (3)

[Girlieplease]

All this guessing is driving me nuts, no mire waiting til baby is born ive booked a gender scan for Christmas Eve! Will take my boys with me and announce on Christmas day x

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I think you have done the right thing, everyone is different and will cope differently but for me, I totally believed I was in with a shot at pink, I had lots of dreams that it was a girl, which I think was just wish fulfilment and saw absolutely nothing between the legs at my scan 12 weeks 5 days, all this came together to increase my belief that my sway had worked, which made the fall when I discovered it was a boy even hard. I am still not coping with it three weeks on. If you find out its a girl you can so enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, if it's a boy, you can have time process your feelings before your baby is born! X

[Burakoam]

So..i passed a kidney stone. thats the pain and pressure i had over the weekend. Ugh.

[All*blue*everything]

I think you have done the right thing, everyone is different and will cope differently but for me, I totally believed I was in with a shot at pink, I had lots of dreams that it was a girl, which I think was just wish fulfilment and saw absolutely nothing between the legs at my scan 12 weeks 5 days, all this came together to increase my belief that my sway had worked, which made the fall when I discovered it was a boy even hard. I am still not coping with it three weeks on. If you find out its a girl you can so enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, if it's a boy, you can have time process your feelings before your baby is born! X

Thanks, u are right.
Plus it gives my boys a chance to come to terms with another brother x

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[Lissastick]

It's really hitting me hard today. Both of my close friends are having girls. It's a second girl for one of them and the first girl after a boy for the other.

My heart hurts.
Bad.

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[Burakoam]

Awe Lissa the friend that's getting her pigeon pair.. you gotta know I have 2 older brothers who are 1-2 years apart in age and then there is me born 10 years after the oldest. Even my cousin who has a brother closer in age to her would confirm what I am about to say... it's not the same. Your two little boys are so lucky to have one another. They are going to be very close and do so many things together. You have given them the best gift. I think a part of you wants a daughter so bad to recreate the awesome bond you have with your own mother and you should also know having a daughter doesn't gaurentee a good relationship. My relationship with my mother is atrocious, but hers was great with her mom. Talk all the time on the phone, frequent shopping and visits with each other..trust me I have no clue how they did it because I loved my grandma and was very close to her but my mother and I pretty much hate one another.

As for your friend on her second daughter...try and feel happy her daughter will have a best friend just as your son will. You never know even if you two are very close if she in some way is jealous of your two boys...I wouldn't ever confide in any of my friends that I was jealous. You really may never know what they think

[Burakoam]

I should add I love both of my brothers. As much as a sister can. But they will always be closer and have more in common.. it's just how it works

[Lissastick]

I AM happy for my son that he gets a best friend in the best way in the form of a brother. And I do love this child. I really do.

The friend who is getting her Pigeon pair has a son who will be 10 years older than his sister. I know that is not ideal. But, my friend got exactly what she wanted. She's been wanting a girl ever since her son was born.

And my other friend is SO happy that she has two girls. She was telling me before she found out that she didn't want a boy and that her daughter wanted a sister.

I have always been a spoiled brat. I'm just being selfish because I can't have what I want.

My husband did say yesterday that if we get out of debt in the next few years we could have a third, but, I'd only go high tech and we can't afford that.

And I was hesitant about having a second child at all because I mostly feel like a terrible mom to my son. He's extremely spirited and very opposite in personality to me.

Ugh. I've been depressed for a while now. It's continued into my pregnancy and I'm convinced I still would be if I was having a girl. Today is a bad day for my depression. I am just feeling like the worst mother on earth right now.

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[Burakoam]

Lissa you are not a bad mom. You are not the only one who struggles with motherhood after they are already a mother either. I think our moms make it look easy and so alot of women go into it thinking "how hard could it be?". I am right there with you in the category of feeling like a bad mom for the exact reasons you described. I get along well with my oldest, fantastic with my current youngest, but i really struggle mothering my middle daughter. Spirited is probably the positive term i would use but really its she is beyond emotional. She was diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder at the age of 4 and it shows in everything she does. she was the kind of kid who you couldnt put her down outside in the grass because she would scream and cry because the grass scared her. I dont have a high tolerance for the kind of drama that surrounds her life, but she was pretty much born that way and it cant be helped. Im her mother and she is my daughter and so i will always do the best i can but yes i think most people struggle with at least one of their kids. This next one could be closer in personality to you!

i think the reason your friend had a girl primarily is because she waited so long in between. Okay your friend really wanted two girls then..what sucks is we see this happen all the time to everyone around us. It is really unfair. Maybe some day we will 100% fix whatever it is that causes us to get opposites but until then just know you arent alone. We can sit in a corner and be spoiled brats together. hahaha.

[Girlieplease]

Lissastick am so sorry your going through this but your in good company here, lots are going through it. I think you many of these moments in the future. I know it's not the same thing as I have a dd already but I find it catches me off guard, like putting my dd clothes away and thinking I will never have another wee girl to use these for, my mum going on about the gorgeous outfit for my brothers little girl due in February and I had to leave my own house because I could not cope with it. You have a really good perspective on what has happened but that does not mean things aren't going to hurt from time to time. Give yourself a break gd is so tough, am a real tough cookie and have come through some tricky spots in my life relatively unscathed but this has broken me. I just feel a massive sense of failure because it did not work. Sending hugs and it's crap that there are others in the same position like burakoam but at least you each know what your going through! Sounds like your husband is open to a third, do this is not the end of your journey! Xx

[pinkinthestars]

Hi Burakoam,
Totally off topic but I noticed your little bit you wrote about your little one with anxiety, have you tried taking her to a kinesiologist? They test the nervous system and muscles and treat accordingly I only say this as a suggestion as I to struggled with anxiety myself as a child and after not being able to be treated by a gp I was taken to a kinesiologist which helped a great deal.