Baby here and do not feel any better

[ejk741]

You sound exactly like me! I found out DD was a girl at 16 weeks. I cried when I found out.... I cried when I saw pink clothes... I cried when I had to paint her room.... I especially cried when I saw baby boys or found out that others were having baby boys. I never EVER wanted a girl. I convinced myself that the u/s was wrong. When she was born, I felt a little better. To be honest, I really just wasn't 100% in the mommy game at first. I almost resented her for not being my little boy (I know that that sounds awful... but that was how I felt). When she started to interact with me, I fell more and more in love. She is going to be one soon. I cannot imagine loving anyone as much as I love her. She literally is my world. If someone would have told me this a year ago, I wouldn't have believed them.

Like others have stated... what helped me through was knowing that my next will be a boy. I decided when I found out that she is a girl, that my next will be a HT baby. If I can't guarantee that it is a boy.. then my LO will be an only child. Even though I feel that I have overcome most of my GD, I cannot go to that dark place again.

[glory]

I know that it doesn't seem like depression but if you can't bond with your baby then you are sufferring something and probably best to talk to someone. Most PPD starts when you are actually pregnant and then by the time the baby comes you don't notice much of a difference. I think it is called perinatal depression.

There is also post natal anxiety, which if you get and don't get treated, generally turns to depression as well.

I am not trying to make you feel worse about the situation I totally get it, I really do, it's why I have gone through HT to have a girl, but it does get better with time and therapy was the best thing for me to realise that there is nothing wrong at all to have these feelings, that you are not ungrateful or a bad person, but it teaches you to see it for what it is, not to dwell on it and look forward to the future. My therpaist was 100% happy for me to do HT and although I am 'cured' (I rarely get anxiety now, even with everything I have been through the last year, I have techniques I use to deal with it before it becomes an issue) we still meet up every 3 months to discuss the ups and downs, now not having anxiety I remember how bad and real everything was then, how I tried to make sense of it but couldn't.

It does pass, I still get GD quite a bit, but it is more when I am surrounded by all my boys (dh included) and I just feel a little out of place. But it comes and goes quite quickly.

Good luck xoxo

Sorry edited to add, that I get you too on others in your family having your dg. My brother and his wife had a baby girl about 8 weeks before us, so it was a big slap in the face to be affronted to their first child, filled with girl baby showers and girl stuff when I knew I was carrying a boy, but didn't tell anyone. The kids are now almost 3 and the nicest thing is they are the best of friends now xoxo

[jils04]

Im so sorry you are going thru this. We have all been there in some way or another. Other way round for me. Built in from years and years ago. 8 wks is a very hard time. You are tired, hormonal, coupled with GD is not a fun time. Def see someone, even if to help you get to enjoy this little man. Usually when you decide to go HT for the next baby, you start to enjoy the current baby but its not happening for you .This alone makes me think that a little help via therapy or even low dose happy pills (prescribed by GP) can help.
When its time to consider HT, u can always get our advice and help on the HT forums. Yes, it is not easy, and we have all been angry we've had to go this route when others around us just have a little "sexy time" (channeling Borat) LOL and get their DG so easily, but once HT works, you are set free.
Best wishes and I hope you feel better soon.