Feeling crazy for considering HT

[3littleladies]

I love my little girl but if I could turn back time I definitely would have chosen to do HT, its too late now cause she's our last child, so I say dont take the chance.

[ohboy]

You are not crazy, you are very sensible!!! I swayed and swayed and swayed again - I have 6 boys............
If you can afford to do it then don't second guess yourself. Had I have known about it years ago I would have my girl by now

Good Luck

[atomic sagebrush]

And Cat, I am not trying to pick on you but it's hard to sit and reading someone proposing worst case scenario and call it realism.

If you have been trying naturally/swaying for a girl with the last 4 pregnancies, you must be an optimist, right? Why is HT the option that will fail and not swaying? That's what I do not understand. We all must have hope. Why else are we all here?

OK just to share the flip side of this, with swaying, you do walk away with a baby to love, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Some may see it as that, but a lot of people are not mentally in the place where an opposite is the worst thing ever. If someone NEEDS a guarantee and can't get their head around another boy/girl, then by all means HT is the way to go for them. But a lot of us aren't in that place and are ok with an opposite (even when we may temporarily forget that after our ultrasound and have regrets at that moment, just like HT people might have regrets when they get BFN.)

Plus, money means different things to different people - if you have some to spare, it's one thing to say, oh it's only money, but for quite a few of us, it would require a huge financial sacrifice for ONE cycle. I know some people are OWH but there are so many who aren't. There are people who have to save up money for years for one HT round and have to give up a lot in order to make it happen. And if it doesn't work, then people are back at square one again, only out the money. Even if it does work, it can be a blow and it is not always easy for people to weather major financial expenses even when they are planned for. It's hard to finally get your DG only to realize you really don't have the financial standing to raise them the way that you really dream of. The dream of HT even when achieved can mean that you and your husband and even your kids, have to give up other dreams that may be important too. It doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but just that you have to at least consider the money - it's not just money, it's the ability to achieve dreams, have the freedom to do things and it's security for your family and I'm not sure we should undervalue that. We all want our DG's but it's not the only thing in the world that matters.

I don't think it's pessimism to think of the worst outcome that could happen when you're making a decision. To me it just makes sense. For some people, getting an opposite is worse than nothing. For others, no baby and no money is worse. Anyone could make a decision based on the best thing happening, that would be easy. But I think it's just as important to look at the flip side, if this doesn't work out and how am I going to feel in that situation and how will that affect my family?? We are all at different places on the continuum and so what makes sense to one person may not make sense to the other.