Lying or self defence ?

[wantingonemore]

2lovelyboys - just ignore those comments and don't worry about fighting for him... you will be amazed once he is here what a joy he is and how well he fits in with the other 2 - at least that's what I found. I cried for weeks when I found out my DS3 was another boy (at the 19wk anatomy scan) and now I feel embarrassed to admit that, because he is so gorgeous, so adored and I can't imagine our family without him

[Dreamofpink]

I am currently trying to come up with lines to quash these comments before they begin, although some insensitive role have already started. Now I have comments like 'will you keep going until you get a girl?' 'Where you hoping for a girl?'

We always wanted four children but never imagined 3 boys, feel like I am already fighting for him, very sad really, want people to be happy for him as an individual not disappointed because he is my 3rd boy!

2Lovely, I could've written this myself! I know exactly what you mean, no-one's interested in ds3 (except those very close who count) but it still stings. I always said after ds1 that I'd keep going until I got my DD but we lived hours away from here then. My best line of defence re gender comments is "as long as it isn't born 10 weeks early & has to spend 6 weeks in the NICU like ds1, I don't care!" I don't usually get any come back from that, just a sheepish look! It's made me very aware of how I respond to people in the future & when I had a lady recently comment on how wonderful boys are - she had two slightly older than mine- it was lovely & fab not to have to go on the defense! There are some people irl that understand but few & far between

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[2lovelyboys]

Ladies you are wonderful thank you very much!

I admit I was very disappointed to hear boy but have since come to terms with it and am actually looking forward to his arrival, watching the relationship between my boys develop etc we had a gender scan at 16 weeks but kept gender to ourselves until we had our anomaly scan this week, this week has been tough as I'm now excited about my little man but I'm now watching other people's reaction to our news and that really stings! People ehhhhh?!

[Cauliflower]

Thank you ladies. It is so helpful to hear your stries and comments.
I am trying to be as honest as I possibly can towards other people, but sometimes you just have to protect yourself.
About Gender scan, first time I got the scan tech to write the gender down on a paper and put it in an envelope, which my husband kept at work, sealed! We decided to open it in week 27, when all the questions were dealt with, we dont now and we did not know.
With DS2, we found out at the scan but I told people that we are not going to reveal it and people should respect other peoples choice to not share prvivate informtion.
This time I will be a nervewreck ....even thinking about being team green.

[2lovelyboys]

I couldn't be team green, maybe if I already had children of both genders I would have considered it but when trying, hoping and praying for something then to find out at last minute your hard work had failed would have been to much for me. I know I needed the 4 weeks between my gender scan and anomaly scan to adjust to my own emotions before announcing it, this way I have been able to deal with my issues and begin to plan and look forward to his arrival!

[Becca.lms]

I had a friend who had her third boy. She was very upfront about wanting a girl because Its her last. It was refreshing! People should be able to say what they want.
I want a girl...but I want a boy too. I go back and forth between which gender I want more. I want a girl so I can use my girls name, but I'm good with a boy. And I really don't think I'm in denial.

[2lovelyboys]

Becca, that's a good place to be emotionally! Will you be swaying? I agree that people should be able to say what they want without the fear of being judged!

[Becca.lms]

I did sway girl but I really suck at the diet.
The main reason I was a girl now, which may not be that good of a reason, is so my sister won't take my girls name and she keeps saying she is. Its super stressful!
Beyond that, I'm okay with a boy. I just feel stuck for time because if I don't have a girl, she will take it.
But I do want 5 or 6 kids. So if next is a boy so be it.
Though if I don't have a girl this time, I will sway a lot harder next time.

[Becca.lms]

I feel like I want a girl mostly for other people. Because I really am happy either way. I just want a baby.
But the pressure , the time limit, etc is what bugs me. And I don't think Its fair that I feel the need to have a girl to please others.
And my friend who had a girl set clothes aside for me..how long will she wait?
I think if I have a boy I'll be a bit disappointed, but because of the other people. If it was just me in my own world I wouldn't be disappointed at all. Its unfair my happiness will be downgraded because of others.

[Cauliflower]

I couldn't be team green, maybe if I already had children of both genders I would have considered it but when trying, hoping and praying for something then to find out at last minute your hard work had failed would have been to much for me. I know I needed the 4 weeks between my gender scan and anomaly scan to adjust to my own emotions before announcing it, this way I have been able to deal with my issues and begin to plan and look forward to his arrival!

I was actually thinking gender scan after the regular scan. Then everyones done with their Qs and I can find out too