Oh dear... did I do this wrong?

[Plum3]

I had the same dilemma back on IG, but RingosDrum kindly explained to me it's not the same thing

ELP and Bec are right, ELP gave excellent definition what is cut-off and what is abstinance.

TTC5, IMO the only concern here might be were there any X-survivors up there when O occurred so the fresh sperm didn't have chance to get there first. That's the worse scenario, God forbid, and I think it's not likely.

That's why you should have 4 days abstainance ( not cut-off), for example, you can have baby dance sex like 7-8 days prior to O ( so no survivors up in the cervix), then have him release 4 days before O, then no sex no release and on O day unprotected sex.
This is how I understand it, but I'm going with every other day BD around O anyway.

We all know timing is the least important, so FX you are already cookin' sticky blue bean

I actually did a google search and your post came up on IG. I thought they were the same thing in the beginning but now I understand the difference (I think!).

I think TTC5 said she had protected sex 4 days before attempt so there wouldn't be any surviving sperm there when O occurred.

[Plum3]

Ok, so I'm going to sound like a bimbo, but the more I think about it now the more confused I get. Arggggh!

So, when swaying for blue I thought we were to have protected sex until our actual attempt/s to prevent the possibility of any surviving sperm being at the cervix. Right? So, if that's right then in this case wouldn't a 4 day cut off be the same as 4 days abstaining? Cut off is 4 days before attempt, meaning this is the last time DH will release (through protected sex or himself), which also means by the time it is attempt time he will have abstained for 4 days. 4 day cut off results in 4 days abstaining?

My head is spinning!

[jane]

Ok, so I'm going to sound like a bimbo, but the more I think about it now the more confused I get. Arggggh!

So, when swaying for blue I thought we were to have protected sex until our actual attempt/s to prevent the possibility of any surviving sperm being at the cervix. Right? So, if that's right then in this case wouldn't a 4 day cut off be the same as 4 days abstaining? Cut off is 4 days before attempt, meaning this is the last time DH will release (through protected sex or himself), which also means by the time it is attempt time he will have abstained for 4 days. 4 day cut off results in 4 days abstaining?

My head is spinning!

ha!im with you on this one! hope we get it right soon!!!!

[Flava]

bec 4 day cutoff and 4 day abstaining is not the same because if you do the cut off that's means you dtd 4 days before O day , 1 try. If you get a bfp then you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off.

4 day abstaining means DH wait 4 days and the you dtd on O day 1 try. If you get a bfp you get pregnant with 4 day abstaining but no cut off.

You can do both dtd 4 days before O with DH already abstaining for 4 days and then dtd again on O day 2 try for bfp here.So if you get a bfp you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off and also 4 day abstaining .

Of course it can be 3 days 2 days so on . We just try for 4 day abstaining to build sperm count for ttc boy.

SO TTC5 You just don't worry you did it good!!!

[Kris217]

bec 4 day cutoff and 4 day abstaining is not the same because if you do the cut off that's means you dtd 4 days before O day , 1 try. If you get a bfp then you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off.

4 day abstaining means DH wait 4 days and the you dtd on O day 1 try. If you get a bfp you get pregnant with 4 day abstaining but no cut off.

You can do both dtd 4 days before O with DH already abstaining for 4 days and then dtd again on O day 2 try for bfp here.So if you get a bfp you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off and also 4 day abstaining .

Of course it can be 3 days 2 days so on . We just try for 4 day abstaining to build sperm count for ttc boy.

SO TTC5 You just don't worry you did it good!!!

That makes sense Flava, thanks for the explanation

[Plum3]

Yay, I get it, thankyou Flava! And thankyou Zivic. I re-read both posts and it is stuck in my little brain now. I swear, I'm not usually this dumb, honestly!

I can sleep easy now

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought the term cut off meant the days you get hubby to abstain is this not right?

My hubby last dtd on cd 9 (in the evening) he abstained for 4 days and we bd'ed on cd 13 and ovulation either happened soon after or up to 24 hours later.

I thought this is what we were meant to do? Best to get hubby to hold off for 2-4 days with day 4 being the better one, and to time intercourse as close to or just before Ovulation??

Ok, well I have been confused by several of your posts lately and NOW this makes sense.

To me and Dr. Shettles at any rate, a "cut-off" means you stop DTD a certain number of days before ovulation. Nothing to do with days of abstinence at all. So I couldn't quite understand why you were asking about cutoffs before. You don't WANT a cutoff when you TTC blue, you want to DTD close to ovulation. So you would not have a cutoff, but you would still have 4 days abstinence.

[atomic sagebrush]

bec 4 day cutoff and 4 day abstaining is not the same because if you do the cut off that's means you dtd 4 days before O day , 1 try. If you get a bfp then you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off.

4 day abstaining means DH wait 4 days and the you dtd on O day 1 try. If you get a bfp you get pregnant with 4 day abstaining but no cut off.

You can do both dtd 4 days before O with DH already abstaining for 4 days and then dtd again on O day 2 try for bfp here.So if you get a bfp you got pregnant with a 4 day cut off and also 4 day abstaining .

Of course it can be 3 days 2 days so on . We just try for 4 day abstaining to build sperm count for ttc boy.

SO TTC5 You just don't worry you did it good!!!

What she said!

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought the term cut off meant the days you get hubby to abstain is this not right?

My hubby last dtd on cd 9 (in the evening) he abstained for 4 days and we bd'ed on cd 13 and ovulation either happened soon after or up to 24 hours later.

I thought this is what we were meant to do? Best to get hubby to hold off for 2-4 days with day 4 being the better one, and to time intercourse as close to or just before Ovulation??

You did it exactly right, just that it's not called a cutoff.

[atomic sagebrush]

TTC5 ITA with everyone here ... 4 day cut off means no sex (or release for him) for 4 days prior to BD. I'm wondering what Bec is too ... what did this other person say you did wrong? Because I think your timing was great!

Just again, I think we are all on the same page here now but to clarify, that is NOT a cutoff. That is abstinence.

So if you told someone that you had a 4 day cutoff, they think you meant that you DTD 4 days before O.

I guess you're getting confused because you cut DH off for 4 days so you think it's called a cutoff? But it isn't, it's abstinence.

As long as you DTD on O or the day before O, with 2-4 days abstinence beforehand, that is the right timing and BD pattern for