Scared of gender disappointment

[squigglepink]

Babygirlquest


I dont know much about HT - is that the IVF etc route?

[Babygirlquest]

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[Beau82]

Title says it all really... We are ttc pink and have two amazing boys. This is definitely, DEFINITELY or last baby and I'm just terrified of feeling acute gender disappointment. I've decided I can't face even looking at the scans and will find out at the end. I feel sure that being handed a newborn gorgeous baby boy will be easier than just being told "it's a boy" and then having all the well meaning comments in the remaining four months. Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm just so scared of being preg in a way as I know there will always have been more I could do to sway. HT is def out the question.

For me, I only experienced GD with my fourth and he was the only one (besides my first) that I found out at 20 weeks with. I was a little hopeful that #3 was a girl but we decided not to find out and I was so over the moon when he was born. I truly did not have an ounce of GD. I really regretted finding out so early with DS4. I feel like I either would not have had GD at all or it would have been way less than it was. I think it's hard to be disappointed when you're looking at a sweet face who wants nothing more than to be in your arms. It was hard for me to look forward to the future when I knew nothing about the little person growing inside of me other than that he was another boy.
I was worried too about feeling GD again if I do have a fifth boy so I stepped back for a bit and tried to understand why I wanted another child so bad. And I've realized that while I do really want a girl, I ultimately just don't feel as though our family is complete as is. I don't feel like DS4 is meant to be the baby forever. So I feel as though I'm prepared for the possibility of another boy and I'm ok with that. I want another baby. I always wanted 5 kids.

[squigglepink]

Yes we are going pgd/IVF. Hubby says last chance and with two failed sways I'm not risking it x

Awesome babygirl - good luck and all the very best. Tbh, id go that route if we could x

[Traci25]

It's so great hearing these stories. I'm not alone. I pray every day that I have a het pregnant with a healthy baby girl or none at all.
I know so many would be thrilled to be pregant with at all. But I am so scared I think I may stop trying because I can't take it if the results aren't what I'm hoping for. I feel so guilty. I adore my kids. And get upset with myself for feeling this way. I cried for months with ds2 and yes I feel
So blessed he's my son. It's such wierd feelings.
So glad I can share and I am not alone.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ladies, please try to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. When your sons are grown men, you will look back and all this will be nothing more than a blip on the radar that you barely remember. It goes away over time and you WILL come to appreciate your family as it IS.

[Pretty]

I am so glad I read this thread... I am SO worried about GD, I keep telling DH that I reserve the right to back out at any time. I would definitely rather not get pg than experience GD. DS is amazing, best/easiest thing ever... Its so tempting to be done, and just mark motherhood down as a "win"... But the whole "what-if" scenario terrifies me as well.

I also worry that DS will feel like a 3rd parent (he's 11 now), he's very nurturing, responsible, and compassionate - a "mini-adult" only child, I don't want him to feel like he needs to grow up too soon because we have another only child to take care of...

Does anyone else have kids with large age gaps? If so, what made you take the leap after so many years? TIA

[atomic sagebrush]

The fear is ALWAYS worse than the reality!!! Think back on some time when something you had worried about actually came to pass (like car breaking down, doctor's appointment you worried about, getting sick in public or something) and it is never as bad as you had worried that it would be. The things that really get ya are the ones that come out of left field you didn't even see coming.

Yes i have a big age gap. I had my first two boys and they were 16/13 when I had my 3 little ones (same husband). We had money troubles, health concerns, too small of a house, very busy, etc etc etc but after a while I realized we were waiting for this ideal situation to come to pass that probably never was going to and if I didn't go for it soon I would be out of time. I went back to work for 2 years to pay off some debts we had and then when I was 37 I had DS 3, at 39 I had DS 4, and at 42 I had DD. My oldest son was 21 when my daughter was born.

[Pretty]

Thanks! That's definitely inspiring!

[skillet04]

My first ds was 13 when his little brother was born....we didnt ttc but didnt prevent as when ds#1 was 2 i was told i may never have another child....so it just happened in my case that i did get to have another child and that the first was so much older when he finally became a big bro

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