3rd child on the fence/ opinions/experience?

[trifecta]

It's nice to hear the perspectives of mothers with kids of all ages. I have two and always feel like my house is a little empty.

[atomic sagebrush]

I must be in the minority but I felt that with my first two (now adults) the teen years were a breeze. They do still require care even into adulthood, things like car repairs and phone calls and so on but honestly they added more help to the family than it's cost me in terms of time and energy over the year. I realize I was lucky that my boys weren't terrible teens and it's somewhat of a factor of lifestyle - small town/country living for us, but I found it much easier as they got older.

[Raezodal]

I must be in the minority but I felt that with my first two (now adults) the teen years were a breeze. They do still require care even into adulthood, things like car repairs and phone calls and so on but honestly they added more help to the family than it's cost me in terms of time and energy over the year. I realize I was lucky that my boys weren't terrible teens and it's somewhat of a factor of lifestyle - small town/country living for us, but I found it much easier as they got older.

Thank you for this! I was starting to fear the teenage years hitting here! I'll still have preschoolers and was thinking ahhh!!! If teenagers are even more difficult....I don't know how I'll manage!!!

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[TRL]

Maybe it's because I have a 3 year old and I am going through teen years also. Looking at colleges, doing SAT testing and the stress of making sure he becomes a successful man. He is a great kid but still stressful. I can't imagine going through it 3 more times still.

[Raezodal]

Maybe it's because I have a 3 year old and I am going through teen years also. Looking at colleges, doing SAT testing and the stress of making sure he becomes a successful man. He is a great kid but still stressful. I can't imagine going through it 3 more times still.

Maybe? When my oldest turns 13, I'll have a 10, 8, 5 and 2 year old. By the time he's looking at colleges...I'll be out of diapers at least.

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[atomic sagebrush]

Maybe it's because I have a 3 year old and I am going through teen years also. Looking at colleges, doing SAT testing and the stress of making sure he becomes a successful man. He is a great kid but still stressful. I can't imagine going through it 3 more times still.

It's not just you, I think nuthin had said that on a different thread. It may be different for everyone as all our circumstances vary!!

[girliedreamz]

We went back and forth for a bit on having a 4th child. At first, I was all in wanting a 4th...a lot of which had to do with wanting a girl and having 3 boys. But after two losses, we started to get realistic about could we really deal with a 4th child. I'm 39 and dh is 46, so our ages really were a factor. Heck, some of our friends have grown children, and they're starting their empty nest phases already! Do we really want to wait until we're in our 60s to be able to do things like take vacations that don't involve theme parks? Plus, I'm now the sole breadwinner in our house, and since I own my own company, maternity leave it not an option. No lie, 2 & 3 were both HARD. I've got a big age gap, too, so I've got one in college—still living at home and doesn't yet drive—one in kindergarten, and an autistic 3 year old. The hardest thing for me is the split attention. Each of my kids in a different phase of life, which means I'm changing a diaper and organizing a playdate while trying to help with advanced algebra. I really wish I'd had them closer together, but things just didn't work out that way.

Anyway... even with all of that reality setting in, I'm currently pregnant with a 4th. In the end, we decided that we'd always wonder if stopping at 3 was the right thing, but we'd never regret another child once he/she was here. I still have no clue how we're going to survive an infant at this stage in our lives, but we will find a way. And I'm sure we'll have fun doing it! Even if the house never gets cleaned and we live off fast food for a year or two. lol!