Due March/April/May 2017 (3)

[Burakoam]

Regardless you should still post. But just like you are free to post whatever you want whenever you want, so can i, and i expressed concern because there is some concern there. Why come to a group for support if you only want one kind? thats unrealistic. There are many kinds of support. I am still trying to support you, you just dont like how it came off. I am sorry for that. I hope your son is okay, and honestly if you are on the lighter side from the pink sway i would say you should be concerned and get his heartbeat checked out. Peace of mind, rub it in my face the doctors were right, i dont care it doesnt hurt my feelings but id rather you know your baby is okay. And if hes not, you should know that too, or i think you would have a hard time forgiving yourself for putting it off so long

[atomic sagebrush]

Just a general all purpose statement that people can have extremely severe GD even if they have one or more of their desired gender already. calling people out over that is not allowed and will not be tolerated.

[Girlieplease]

Regardless you should still post. But just like you are free to post whatever you want whenever you want, so can i, and i expressed concern because there is some concern there. Why come to a group for support if you only want one kind? thats unrealistic. There are many kinds of support. I am still trying to support you, you just dont like how it came off. I am sorry for that. I hope your son is okay, and honestly if you are on the lighter side from the pink sway i would say you should be concerned and get his heartbeat checked out. Peace of mind, rub it in my face the doctors were right, i dont care it doesnt hurt my feelings but id rather you know your baby is okay. And if hes not, you should know that too, or i think you would have a hard time forgiving yourself for putting it off so long

This really is not an option, you have to phone in advance, which I have done and they have said not to come down. If I decide to present anyway, they will literally turn me away at the door. What would be the point? This is the same hospital that is refusing to increase my thyroid medication even thought my tsh levels are currently sitting at 14 when to maintain a healthy pregnancy they have to be below 2. Why would they be concerned about lack of movement at 18 weeks pregnant? They are not! X

[Girlieplease]

You arent upsetting me, you worry me, as a friend. i think there is a difference. i dont expect your feelings to change, i wanted to give you the other side of the coin. I explained my feelings on my sister in laws pregnancy in an attempt to make it more relatable to hopefully help you. I still have awful feelings of jealousy especially to though i dont like, and so the awful sister in law i can understand. Im sort of neutral with mine and i guess i find more joy in it because its my husband nephew or niece and that is just so neat to me that he will have that honor...I gave you the story about cousins because i know you wanted the little girl for yourself, but if you encourage a great relationship between your daughter and your brothers daughter there is no reason your daughter cant in some ways fulfill her own dream. I know not all cousins work that way, but to be fair not all siblings have good relationships either. I am hoping for her that it works out for the best!

I didnt reference what you said to lissa, i only mentioned that with some of your descriptions its like you wouldnt know you had ever experienced a daughter. I know why you took offense to that, and you rightly should. but instead of stopping posting thinking im attacking you, now that you know its coming from a place of concern, maybe you could use it to do some self reflection. You are right mam, i am a straight talker when i feel i need to be and i can take the same in return so i hope you can take things at face value. I would tell you if i had something against you or ill will, i dont want your feelings invalidated but i believe 100% you need to know how you come off. I told you, honestly, i relate to how you feel about people you dislike getting what they want. I said simply i just couldnt understand how you cant find joy for your brother. Why? Because i do have all of one gender, i will never have a son, and i can still find joy for my sister in law. But you have a daughter, you at least have that experience, and yet when it comes to potentially the closest thing you will have to another daughter, your niece, you admit you have to fake your joy.

Its not that your disappointment in not having another daughter isnt valid. You took what i said as an attack because you wanted to...obviously there are others that agree with you that it was, and still there are others who know i wasnt attacking you in any way. Two sides to every coin i suppose.

People also shouldnt have to beg you to stay. I never said to get out, or stop posting. I did ask you to reflect on what you posted about, that doesnt mean change what you are posting about but maybe deal with the feelings associated with it. I cant think of anyone else who found out when you and i did about our genders that is still struggling quite like you are. That isnt concerning to you?

I have never been in this situation so I don't know what is normal not normal. With my other pregnancies there was always the chance of another baby, so my gd was never this bad. As my husband puts it, you kicked the can down the road and now you have run down the road! Maybe others have adjusted quicker, but really how others cope or adjust really has little impact on me, I cannot make myself accept it. To force myself to feel a certain way would in my opinion make the situation worse. I have a friend who was really desperate for a girl and cried with her first pregnancy when she found out it was a boy, I don't know if she had gender disappointment because I don't know her that well but she got pregnant very quickly with number two and it was a girl. Her Facebook page is just full of pictures of her daughter and her, her daughter is 2 nearly 3. None of her son and if she does post about him it's about how difficult he is to parent and he is been assessed for all sorts of psychological problems. I could never be sure but it is possible that she never resolved her feelings of gender disappointment and her attachment with him was impacted and the issues he presents with are a consequence, is that a preferable outcome?

I have read back over my posts and I don't really think I say much different to most folk on here who did not get their desired gender, so am not sure why you think that what I say is more of a concern?

I do agree that your entitled to say what you like. The issue to do with feelings about those that I care about having my desired gender, you get it in relation to people you don't like but equally I could say to you that someone who is in a similar situation could rightly say to you, I am just happy for everyone that gets their desired gender, irrespective about how I feel about them and be critical for you for how you feel in relation to those that you don't like, it's all relative and them saying it would not change how you feel one jot.

I was not asking people to beg me to stay or continue to post, nor was I suggesting that you were asking me not to post but ( just my opinion) I think the last time this was brought up I think it had an impact on the group and I think people posted less after it. I follow some other due date groups and I have noted that they seem more chatty, maybe it's nothing to do with that and it's just a point the group has got to, would always get to as people progress in there pregnancies but I think it's a vital source of support and did not wish to further contribute to people not wanting to post because of things I was saying.

I try to reflect constantly on how I feel and try to process these feelings. It's a large part of my job as well as my husbands so there is no need for concern on that front. But I would say that I feel awful about feeling the way I do, it feels so unnatural to me as a mother, I feel like such a wretched, horrible person. So maybe your right am only looking for the one type of support because anything that adds to the side of making me feel more worthless than I do already won't help me or my baby. Not suggesting your comments were intended in that way at all, your right it is how am perceiving them. I feel so much solidarity with people on this site and I don't actually feel jealous when people on here get there desired gender. I actually cried with happiness when girliecat posted that she got her girl and it just reminded me of finding out I was having my dd. Similarly I cried when I found out your news, not because I was jealous you were having a dd but just because my heart broke that you would not have a son. I stalk the 2 ww posts in the hope that I hear xxforhubby will get her bfp and hope against hope for her it is the little girl she and her husband have always dreamed about. This group is important to me, it's survival is important because other than dh no one knows about my gender disappointment, even my own mum. So other than my dh I have no one to share these feelings with.

My dd having a relationship with my niece, that not really an option, my sister in law has four sisters and they have dd's. I get on really well with my sister in law bit her own family are and have always been her priority, my mum told her she would like to help with the baby and she said no her sisters would. So a relationship there would not work out.

Listen I do appreciate that your speaking your mind and your right to do it! X

[Burakoam]

In all groups i notice as the months pass the chatter slows up until after the babies are all born and then its pretty much non existent except for a few that check in, so sorry id say thats normal and no we arent some defunct due date group because im here or your here or anyone is here. We are to the point it will start to slow down, that is the pattern, its okay and yes this is a place for support but if you dont feel there is enough there are other threads or DD groups where someone can go when it slows down too much and maybe get opinions there for sure! I think if in any way the slowness correlates to what you have brought up its people feeling they cant express a damn opinion without atomic or someone coming in here and having to make a statement about something. It could be argued about all day. some people will view my initial post as attacking girlie, others will see that wasnt my intent at all. Some will think i attacked her gender disappointment, and others will see i didnt do that at all. Its all about point of view and honestly if its a toss up who can say who is right and who is wrong?

Im still here, so id say nobody attacked anything and atomic is correct its a general statement and one that should be noted if someone was actually being attacked for that, the attacker would be banned. No tolerance.

Dont worry though, i have learned my lesson. I do not wish for you to keep pulling atomic in here looking for justifiable cause obviously to remove me when she cant find it, and i dont want to make you any more worse off than you obviously already are, so when you ask questions or want sympathy i'll just leave you alone to deal with it as such.

[Burakoam]

So i started leaking amnio fluid on friday. I ended up in the hospital, they did the swab, confirmed presence was indeed amnio and i sat there waiting to find out what was next. 1 bed pad down and it slowed then stopped. They did an ultrasound and said baby still had plenty of fluid so she was good, and her head was sealing my cervix now which was still long and thick so they thought the bag would replenish itself over time and all would be okay. Bed rest, trying to limit stress, etc. TSH had dropped more, and they arent sure but concerned they are related and so now my OB is rushing my referal to an Endo (thankfully) to get the situation taken care of hopefully before it can get any worse.

Hope everyone else is well. just glad im making progress with an endo

[Girlieplease]

In all groups i notice as the months pass the chatter slows up until after the babies are all born and then its pretty much non existent except for a few that check in, so sorry id say thats normal and no we arent some defunct due date group because im here or your here or anyone is here. We are to the point it will start to slow down, that is the pattern, its okay and yes this is a place for support but if you dont feel there is enough there are other threads or DD groups where someone can go when it slows down too much and maybe get opinions there for sure! I think if in any way the slowness correlates to what you have brought up its people feeling they cant express a damn opinion without atomic or someone coming in here and having to make a statement about something. It could be argued about all day. some people will view my initial post as attacking girlie, others will see that wasnt my intent at all. Some will think i attacked her gender disappointment, and others will see i didnt do that at all. Its all about point of view and honestly if its a toss up who can say who is right and who is wrong?

Im still here, so id say nobody attacked anything and atomic is correct its a general statement and one that should be noted if someone was actually being attacked for that, the attacker would be banned. No tolerance.

Dont worry though, i have learned my lesson. I do not wish for you to keep pulling atomic in here looking for justifiable cause obviously to remove me when she cant find it, and i dont want to make you any more worse off than you obviously already are, so when you ask questions or want sympathy i'll just leave you alone to deal with it as such.

I did not ask atomic to comment, like yourself I can argue my own side. I think your really supportive to people on the group so I think you should never consider going! Xx

[Girlieplease]

So i started leaking amnio fluid on friday. I ended up in the hospital, they did the swab, confirmed presence was indeed amnio and i sat there waiting to find out what was next. 1 bed pad down and it slowed then stopped. They did an ultrasound and said baby still had plenty of fluid so she was good, and her head was sealing my cervix now which was still long and thick so they thought the bag would replenish itself over time and all would be okay. Bed rest, trying to limit stress, etc. TSH had dropped more, and they arent sure but concerned they are related and so now my OB is rushing my referal to an Endo (thankfully) to get the situation taken care of hopefully before it can get any worse.

Hope everyone else is well. just glad im making progress with an endo

Hope your ok, that sounds worrying. Hope you did not have any additional stress from last night. Hope things improve for you, you seem to have been through the mill this pregnancy and glad your getting things sorted with the endo x o

[Burakoam]

I never said I wanted to leave. Only you made comments about leaving. You got posts confused

Yeah no worries I intend to stay right here. I have friends like family and I always want to make sure they are happy and taken care of and supported cause that makes me happy. And I dont typically let strangers over the Internet stress me out so no worries there I was just fine with all that. I Did attempt to switch the subject and not have it brought up again for the sake of others

[Burakoam]

Who here is ready for Christmas! Because I sure am. I hate snow and ice and cold but I absolutely love Christmas. It's already snowed here twice