TTC Blue Crew Grads

[Tink18]

numbers were really good. almost triples 494. makes me feel really good!

[begonia]

Spicy- great advice!

ELP- at 17 weeks with #9 I'm sure there is quite a bit of baby belly there. I felt the same way about the sway advice, I kept my mouth shut till I knew I had something to offer. I too wanted to be able to say what I did that did/didn't work. You gotta find out we're dying here lol

I'm not offended at all, because I completely understand that perspective ... but at the same time .... what about mine DIDN'T work, KWIM? It SUCKS to have gone all out on a sway and it not work. TBH that's part of the reason I wonder why I even still come here. On the one hand I need the support and encouragement that having 3 daughters doesn't make me a failure, but on the other hand, I feel like a failure who has nothing to offer except how sad I am. And the fact is I AM A FAILURE. Because I did sway. Really freaking hard. And I still have a daughter to show for it. My sway FAILED.

I really do hope everyone else's sways work because I would never, ever wish the way I feel right now on anyone else. I am trying SO hard to get excited about DD3, and I can't. I tried to buy something for her this weekend and started crying in the newborn section because I so badly wanted to be buying blue. I see baby boys EVERYWHERE and am constantly remembering how many more boys than girls are conceived and am wondering why in the heck, as hard as tried, I couldn't be one of them. Rationally I know having a son wouldn't make my life any BETTER, only different, but for some reason that different seems like it would in fact be better.

I'm so tired of being me right now! I'm so sorry everything I post these days is negative; I'm so not this type of person and I can't find a way to get myself out of it. I really wanted three kids, I really thought I'd be OK with a 3rd DD, but I think I somehow had convinced myself we'd have DS. And that's why I regret ever even learning about swaying. Obviously once I knew about it I had to try it, but I wish I was just blissfully unaware still and felt like "you get what you get" ... now I feel like if you somehow have a magic combination, you get what you WANT, and I couldn't figure out that magic combination

Sorry for being such a downer. It's just so hard that after nearly a year of preparing for my sway and believing I would succeed, I failed. I should be happy that "failing" still means a lovely baby girl, but I can't get there yet. I hope I do, because I really fear I won't be able to be a good mother to her. Jen I know your GD was bad with DD3, when she arrived did it feel better instantly? Take time? Were you able to bond? I'm terrified I'm going to want nothing to do with her

I never thought I'd react this way. I'm going to talk to my OB at my next appointment about what I can do now to help prevent PPD because I'm terrified of where I might be headed.

[begonia]

Again, I am here to remind everyone to not let comparison rob you of your joy of your newest dd! Regardless of what other people have, it won't change your situation and I think it is better to focus on the sweet gift you have!

Thanks Spicy. I needed that. I need to keep reading it over and over again until I can get there. I have good days and bad days (well, good moments and bad moments, all in the same day usually) and right now I'm definitely having a bad moment, but reading that is REALLY helpful. So please do keep coming and posting positive things! I for one really, really appreciate it! I think it'd be a little easier if I felt like I had another chance or two. But this is it for us, and that's what keeps bringing me back down whenever I do manage to pick myself up.

Tink, congrats on your BFP and your good numbers! FX all continues to go well!

I'm sitting here crying and DD2 just came and wrapped her arms around me and said "Mama! I make you SO HAPPY!" LOL.

I can't decide if we should "find out" at the scan because I don't want to have to tell people it's DD3. It's a fact that no one is going to be nearly as excited for us as they would be if it was DS1. And I'm in a fragile state these days and not sure I can handle a single comment about "sorry it wasn't a boy" or what have you. On the other hand I hate all the comments now about "hope you got your boy in there" ... I just smile and say "oh, with 2 already it's probably DD3!" but inside I'm crushed.

[WashingtonPromise]

I have a quick question....

Once you guys conceived, did you slow down the eating? Eat differently?

Just curious to see what others are doing.

[fourblessings]

Begonia, I just wanted to offer my support and to genuinely tell you that as soon as your little lass is born you are going to be a blissfully happy Mama. I have always wanted a son and I have 3 daughters and I can honestly say it is wonderful. We are so blessed being the 'maternal' side of future family (which will include grandsons!). Just hang in there and know that when her day of entering the world arrives, you will feel complete and that it is 'right'. Biggest hugs X

[3Pink1Blue]

B- I take it all back to what AS said. Imagine one of those 17 sided D&D dice, the goal is to turn as many sides blue as possible for your roll, some get lucky some don't. YOU didn't fail, that's just where the dice landed and quite honestly you gave it an amazing effort. Your hope had merit much more so then if you hadn't swayed at all. You're negativity is totally understood, we are your only outlet. I know you'll get past this much quicker when it's you and dh dealing together. Once you start talking names and have excited little girls you'll feel better. Screw other people and what they may say, find out officially and take this burden off yourself.


As far as ppd you can't really prevent it because its not actually based on your feelings, I was in bliss when dd2 was born and that's when it hit me the worst. Eat healthy, exercise if you can and take your prenatal is all you can do unless she wants to give you an antidepressant. I had it sever after dd2 and got it again after dd3 even though I was on meds, not gd related just my luck. I'll be scarfing antidepressants as soon as they cut The cord with this one as I have a 90% chance of it hitting again. Ppd is the thing I'd never wish on anyone.

I was completely over it and in love with dd3 till my nephew was born 3wks later and everyone began to ignore her. I had almost no gd when we weren't around them, I occasionally felt sad but it was fleeting. I always felt like if we could isolate us from them we would be in heaven with our girls and may not have gone for another. If I hadn't had gd I never would have found IG and learned about swaying. I never would have gone for 4 without swaying, I needed to know I gave it my best shot. You dear gave it your very best shot! I promise you it will get better and you will adore her!

Tink- woohoo!

Wp- my eating stayed the same till 6wks 1 day then the nausea and aversions kicked in. I ate a ton of the crap I could though, this has been one very hungry baby.

Fourblessings- well said

[Cheekymoo]

Just a quick one from me- It is looking more and more like i was right Doctor had a guess at my scan yesterday - cord was in the way a bit but he said he thinks it's a girl as he saw 3 lines thing! I was very good and waited till i got home to cry..I know it's still not 100% but really it's just confirming what my heart already knew.....Nov 3rd is my scan date when i will get it confirmed.

[skrimpy]

Big hugs begonia ((hugs)) Those dark feelings are so hard to deal with. Not a lot of time right now, but I thought I'd share this post I did about the supplements I'm taking postpartum. I was also really worried about PPD b/c my pregnancy was so very hard emotionally. I haven't had ANY PPD at all - can't completely say it's the supplements, b/c Honor's good birth and her herself help a lot! But I do think the supplements have made a difference:

http://blog.naturalbirthandbabycare....w-supplements/

[ELP]

Sorry your so sad B Your sway was excellent, she just sneaked on in there didn't she. Once she joins you all you will feel such love for her and 6 months down the line life would be unimaginable any differently, I just wish it would speed up to them points sometimes xxx

[ELP]

Big hugs begonia ((hugs)) Those dark feelings are so hard to deal with. Not a lot of time right now, but I thought I'd share this post I did about the supplements I'm taking postpartum. I was also really worried about PPD b/c my pregnancy was so very hard emotionally. I haven't had ANY PPD at all - can't completely say it's the supplements, b/c Honor's good birth and her herself help a lot! But I do think the supplements have made a difference:

http://blog.naturalbirthandbabycare....w-supplements/

Skrimpy is that your own blog? Its fantastic, well done