The Unintentional Swayers Pop Quiz:

[BabyGirl4Me]

I think it has to go beyond just maternal condition because there are women who eat the exact same thing and have diff. genders - and there are women who weigh 85 lbs and have boys. Plus, I've talked with scads of people with all boys and all girls and even tho I can't describe it exactly *and won't try because people get offended* there is something there. Exceptions on both sides but there is something there. It is NOT that boy moms are bitchy and mannish and NOT that girl moms are weak or milksops. Not at all.

And I think it also has to go beyond maternal dominance because I know some women who are large and in charge and have all/mostly girls, who are living on Craisins and iceberg lettuce, including my mother who is kind of a bada$$.

Atomic, for those people who fit the all boy mom profile or all girl mom profile, are they the ones who can conceive the opposite gender or do these people sway sway sway their hearts out and still get all of the same gender??

[atomic sagebrush]

I absolutely, totally, 100% believe that every person can conceive a child of either gender or else I wouldn't be doing this. All swaying is, is a way to hopefully up the odds that it happens sooner, and not later - if we were willing to "Duggar it out" we'd all get an opposite eventually, but most of us don't want to do that.

Read this set of essays http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...s-swaying.html People get pissed at me for shooting down the "magic bullet-light switch" paradigm of swaying, but the thing of it is, if swaying cannot be 100% and it does come down to some extent to luck, that's GOOD. Even tho we can't be guaranteed a baby of a certain gender from magic pink pills, it also meant that no one is doomed to only conceive boys from now until forever. It can happen for EVERYONE and will happen for most...swaying or no.

[BabyGirl4Me]

Even tho we can't be guaranteed a baby of a certain gender from magic pink pills, it also meant that no one is doomed to only conceive boys from now until forever. It can happen for EVERYONE and will happen for most...swaying or no.

I've been spending most of this past week second guessing myself and today I was thinking about throwing all the work I've done away and forgetting about TTC totally but this, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks Atomic.

[meeks32]

Urgh ok so now it's time for me to admit why I can't buy into the emotional sway side of things.

I am dominant, opinionated, in charge of the household, organised and often VERY stressed, overwhelmed or made to play bad cop/alpha mum to my two very full on boys. I find myself trying to be calm and echo the 'girl sway' emotional philosophy then a day later I'm finding myself snapping at my eldest for endangering the youngest, or wanting to yell at him (I don't, but I want to) for crashing, breaking, whinging his way though the day). Of course as any normal mum I am almost always fair and calm on the outside but I am often stressed or tense on the inside and wild with anger sometimes (also on the inside) because my eldest is so difficult and relentless. He's also beautiful and one of the best things I ever did, don't get me wrong, but I do stress and feel 'boy friendly' emotions and reactions constantly, that I feel I can't control no matter how hard I try.

This just makes me want to give up.

Here I was thinking I could ignore that side of swaying (after many months failing to change my behaviour) but I can't! Thing is, when I conceived ds1 I had very few of those emotions and stresses, and with ds2 I was on a high after having a near miss serious health issue I felt I had a second lease of life. So if anything back then I was as 'girl friendly' as my personality type will ever be, and now I'm far more boy friendly.

Sigh

[harleyquinn]

Meeks (hugs) to you lady.

I totally understand and if anything, giving up will move you in the right direction but not giving in, if that makes sense.

I will respond to this more if I can when I have time, but I know AS will have better advice than me.

There is no such thing as boy friendly emotions. Those are mom emotions. I could write a book on this! I do however think there may be a tie in being emotionally "in tune" but that treads on what some get upset about. It isn't just your husband. Its anyone. The hubby is just THERE, so the easiest one to point a finger at and maybe rightfully so in *some* cases.

You conceived DS2 in an emotional high and well being...I conceived 2 in declined maternal condition (but a total bitch tbh) so...I dunno..no magic bullet here in how we are supposed to act, weigh, behave, eat, have sex, buffer our vg's, drink alcohol, smoke, not smoke, take vitex, douche, beg for clomid, etc etc etc

All you can do, is look at yourself and see what fits. xx I am a TOTAL fan of the nuts and bolts sway...just lower the sperm count and do one attempt and use the mechanical methods of swaying if changing who you *are* is just not possible. Swaying is not meant to mess with anyone's head, in my firm opinion (imfo) LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

Meeks, my DS 3 is a human dynamo and absolutely just the same as your DS 1 is, and probably to a factor of 10. Then my DS 4 idolizes him and even tho by nature he's more laid back, he follows in his brother's footsteps - day in and day out it is like a long parade of destruction and tantrums and whingeing and breaking up physical confrontations and hours long arguments regarding socks and chewing gum. I am ALWAYS in the midst of a hurricane of emotions and every day feels like a constant battle between the forces of boyness and the forces of Kristin LOL. but I still got DD in the end despite this. We ALL can get DD. I don't mean to make anyone feel discouraged at all, that is not at all my intent.

But I have to explain for people why it is that 85 lb people can get boys and why women with Masters Degrees have more boys - it CAN'T just be diet, KWIM??

I do not think that being upset and stressed out = boy friendly emotions. I really, really don't. Successes and overcoming challenges DOES sway boy, but being constantly under assault from stress (even if it comes in a tiny and adorable package), over time your body kind of gets tired out and you just can't make the superhigh levels of hormones any more. That's actually GOOD for your pink sway.

[atomic sagebrush]

You CAN'T change your personality for swaying. That's why I hesitate to even bring it up, because I think we shoudl focus on what we can change instead.

Don't take up tae kwon do, don't enter a beauty pageant, don't run for president of the PTA or take Fluffy to the dog show (altho JJ got her DD while running for office!!) but aside from that, DON'T sweat that which you cannot change.

[meeks32]

You CAN'T change your personality for swaying. That's why I hesitate to even bring it up, because I think we shoudl focus on what we can change instead.

Don't take up tae kwon do, don't enter a beauty pageant, don't run for president of the PTA or take Fluffy to the dog show (altho JJ got her DD while running for office!!) but aside from that, DON'T sweat that which you cannot change.

That's exactly what I was trying to say but better. That was/is my approach because I don't feel I can change my personality. But no I'm not running for president right now, *smile. Or beauty pageants (not that I would anyway) but ds1 made sure of that by giving me the worlds biggest stretch marks. Scratch that, craters. Nowhere except my tummy. It's a constant source of poor body image for me but I'm over it! At least I can't get any worse with more kids, since number 1 did such a good job of wrecking me!!!

[PolishPrincess]

I don't know Atomic, me in a beauty pageant? That's kind of a slam dunk!

[atomic sagebrush]