Currently in L&D due to preterm labor

[Pearl327]

Sweetpea I am so so sorry for the loss of your son and congratulations on the birth of your longed for daughter.

[Sway&Wish]

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

[wilma_five]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your little boy!
At the same time I'm so happy for you with the birth of your little girl!

Remember they will always be twins, nothing comes between them!

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm so sorry about your son. What a mix of emotions. I'm glad your DD is doing well and thank you for updating us.

[Pangea]

Sweetpea I'm so sorry for your loss. Congratulations on the birth of your little girl.

[sbowman]

I'm so sorry sweetpea! My heart just breaks for you. So glad your DD is doing well, but what a bittersweet feeling.


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[Wanting-a-girl]

So sorry for your loss but am very happy that your DD is healthy and thriving

[cvd]

Oh goodness. How sad. Sorry for your loss but congrats on your healthy baby girl. Hope you're doing ok.

[Yuzu]

Sweetpea, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son. Please accept my prayers for him, and my congratulations for your sweet baby girl.

[sweetpea]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's been 7 weeks exactly since I gave birth to my babies. It somehow feels like it was both yesterday and a lifetime away. We're coping the best that we can, but it's just so hard. So many weird, mixed emotions. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm a wreck. And sometimes I'm just numb. Things seem to trigger my grief unexpectedly. For example, there's a lot of newborn babies in our church right now, and none of that bothers me. I'm happy to see the new babies (maybe it's because I *do* have a newborn of my own too). However, it's the pregnancies that are like a dagger to my heart. I see women who walk around with big, pregnant bellies, not a care in the world. Their babies are alive inside them, growing and thriving, and they have this peaceful, blissfully happy glow about them. I feel like that was me, just days before this tragedy happened. I never expected to feel that way towards pregnant women in my grief, but then...there it was. Took me totally off guard.

I'm missing my baby boy terribly. DH has wanted a son named Logan since our first baby, and he was finally getting his little Logan. My heart just aches and grieves over that. My two sons still talk about Logan. Just this morning, my oldest told me that he misses him (even though he never got to see him) and wants him here with us. Things like that rip my heart out. It hurts enough to grieve MY loss over Logan, but it nearly kills me to see my husband and my sons hurting in this way.

I wish I wasn't so gloomy in my posting. My daughter is such a beautiful blessing in my life, and believe me, we *are* having sweet, happy times too. It's just that my heart is so, so heavy at times, and it helps to get it all out.