Juggling multiple concerns while trying to sway pink

[Dreamofpink]

I agree Blueyes - I had my 2 eldest boys 23 months apart, both c-sections. I then had my 3rd by VBAC at Xmas. The stats are quite misleading, especially those on rupture, where a minor dehisience is lumped in the same stat as a major life-threatening rupture. A lot of scaremongering goes on in the medical world as it's easier for them to control a planned section. :-)

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[blueeyedguys]

Don't get me started on the whole dehesience/window/thin uterus/rupture thing. We'd be here for hours. lol

[beingmommy]

Oh thanks for this info! I am guessing you are right and they are looking at the highest decreased risk at the 18 month mark. Very interesting.

The C-section thing has definitely been a factor for me in postponing. And the autism risk stuff. Then also just DS2 being so high need right now. He literally will scream unless he is with me. And sleeps terribly and eats a little food but is still mostly BFing. So I don't feel ready to start TTC right away.

But I am feeling better about making the choice be more about when DS2 is in a better place than on these other factors now.

I have heard of ICAN and definitely plan to have a VBAC. DS1 was a perfect natural vaginal birth. very fast. DS2 was breech and we tried every gentle way we could to turn him (acupuncture, hypnosis, chiropractic, positional stuff) but he wouldn't turn. It often felt to me like he would try to turn but couldn't. Finally I was having intense BH and he was still footling breech with excess amniotic fluid and they gave me the choice of doing an ECV. It felt wrong to me. I couldn't explain it but it felt wrong so I declined. We had a C-section and when they got in there they found he had the cord wrapped around his neck up at the end right by the placenta which was right under my ribs. So he couldn't turn. He was stuck and if we HAD tried to turn him manually or tried to going into a breech delivery it could've ended very badly with the cord being ripped out of the placenta.

[blueeyedguys]

Mama instinct. I'm glad you listened to it. Most of the time, breech birth is as safe as breech cesarean & most of the time, wrapped cords are safe. There's usually some slack. I've never heard of a cord quite that short/tight before! Sounds like you had one of the rare situations cesareans were made for.

You have a very high chance of a VBAC since you have a previous birth & a reason for cesarean that unlikely to repeat.

I learned about those stupid online calculators that tell you your chance of having a successful VBAC after I'd had 2. So I entered all my info in them from before each one....I got around 35% & 50%. So glad I never saw those before giving birth!

Anyway, good to hear your feeling a bit better about things. I hope your ds2 becomes a bit less needy. I've had a couple high needs kids & they've all gone through periods of it. It's rough. Hang in there!

[beingmommy]

Thanks blueeyedguys! It is strange the way he was tangled in the cord. I think it was nice and long but the part wrapped around his neck was up close to the placenta end so he couldn't turn and would not have been able to descend. My DS1 came out with his cord wrapped around his neck too but it was more in the middle or bellybutton end so he still had lots of freedom to turn and move. I think DS2 was stuck nearly the entire pregnancy because he was in that position in our 20 week u/s, we just didn't realize then that the cord had trapped him.

High need kids can be so exhausting. But sweet too. I really want another so I hope it can work for us.

Are you trying for more? I am sorry if you already mentioned it. I have a little mommy brain.

[blueeyedguys]

One of mine had a single loose wrap around his neck & a hugely long cord. Another had a true knot, which was interesting. I took a (bad) picture of it.


We're hoping to try once more, but can't until at least Christmas (gee that'll be fun with LE) and I'm already getting weird cycles for peri-menopause, so who knows if I'll be able to get pregnant. All my others have been quick, one shot tries, so I guess we'll see which trend is stronger lol

I'm honeslly fine either way. I just want to know I at least gave having a daughter a shot instead of spending the rest of my life wondering if I could have gotten pregnant & maybe had a girl.

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

I think the statistics are for anyone BUT it would be much higher for someone who already has a child with autism. I am mainly concerned because DS1 has autism.

That frightens me a little.
Sure is hard being a parent isn't it? Such hard decisions before they are even conceived!


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[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

One of mine had a single loose wrap around his neck & a hugely long cord. Another had a true knot, which was interesting. I took a (bad) picture of it.


We're hoping to try once more, but can't until at least Christmas (gee that'll be fun with LE) and I'm already getting weird cycles for peri-menopause, so who knows if I'll be able to get pregnant. All my others have been quick, one shot tries, so I guess we'll see which trend is stronger lol

I'm honeslly fine either way. I just want to know I at least gave having a daughter a shot instead of spending the rest of my life wondering if I could have gotten pregnant & maybe had a girl.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking (and I apologize if you already mentioned... I too have mommy brain)


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[blueeyedguys]

I'm 40. I think I mentioned it in the Canadian thread, but not a problem.

I started AF young, so ending young wouldn't surprise me. But then, neither would ending older. lol

[beingmommy]

Hitmebabyonemoretime, I know it is scary but also know that the risks for you are still very small, I think somewhere in the 2% range. It's MUCH more for me but still much more likely we'd have a kid without. For us it's 1 in 5 general risk we will since we already have a kid with autism - but that means and 80% chance we won't - 80%! So for you, even if you closely spaced kids, it would be unlikely. For me, I am just trying to hedge my bets since we already have a much higher risk.

Blueeyedguys, I feel the same way about just wanting to give it a shot. If we don't try again I will always wonder. If we do try again and either not manage to get pregnant OR have another boy I will be fine. It will feel like it was what was meant to be. But if we don't try? I know I will regret not giving us a chance.