I thought I had a good sway....but I thought wrong

[lovemy2blessings]

I'm so sorry it sounds like you did everything you could do! It's in God's hands and despite everything you did it's because your little boy is meant to be!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you all. THese words help more than you know. The news is still kind of shocking to me. I even looked up the chances of panorama being wrong. I got diagnosed with hyperemisis gravidarum at my first OB appointment and required IV bags of fluid for dehydration. Of course everyone comments that a dx of HG usually means girl. I Was not sick at all with DS1-so I actually started to believe it. The ironic part is that I haven't eaten breakfast in over a year and now can't eat breakfast now either. You all leave me hope of getting over this GD. Of course everyone around me is preggo with daughters or has daughters. I get jealous that these girls seem to entertain themselves and my son can't seem to go 5 minutes without requiring my attention or getting into something unsafe. I love him to pieces but I guess I just need some time to read and re read and re read all of your kind words. I couldn't be more grateful for you all. I might actually print out some of these posts and hand them to my husband saying, " here-this is what you should say in response to what I am about to say." They always want to know the right things to say...so why not just give it to them :-)

the studies indicate very very clearly that HG means only 1-3% more likely to be a girl. Literally everyone I know who had HG has boys, not girls. I have no idea why people say that. It is hard enough to go thru HG without everyone who fancies themselves scientists chiming in on it!!

[atomic sagebrush]

The great thing about this site is that all you women understand. I feel like if I tell a friend or family member how I feel they'll just say the cookie cutter..."Oh, it doesn't matter as long as he's healthy." And-that is true. It's how I SHOULD feel and how I WANT to feel....but I'm not there yet. So, until I get there, I keep sharing with you guys. Thank you for your supportive words. they really do help.

Maureen from IG used to say that telling someone "it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy" is like going to a movie and not caring what you see "as long as it has a plot". I mean in the grand scheme, is that true, yeah I suppose, we're all much luckier than people who don't have access to movies and blah blah blah but at the same time if I went in expecting to see "Gone with the wind" and instead it was "Friday the 13th part 700" I would be pretty annoyed about that!!

Plus, all the same people who say that, what is the FIRST question they or anyone else ask when a baby is born...it's not "omg is it healthy, does it have 10 fingers and 10 toes?" it is "was it a boy or a girl". Even apes and monkeys immediately look at the genitals of their newborns to see what the gender of their baby is!! So it's like they are complete hypocrites.

[PrimalMamma]

Atomic I agree completely. The one I often use is that it's like saying it doesn't matter what sort of wedding you have as long as you're married at the end. True I guess, but if I had shown up for my own wedding & it had been a Bollywood-style event, I was handed a sparkly red sari instead of my white wedding dress & we all sat on the floor and ate curry I would have felt really removed from my own wedding day because, while that sounds like a fun & beautiful wedding to attend as a guest for someone else, that isn't remotely what I wanted. We are allowed to want whatever we want & plan to make whatever we want happen in every other area of our lives except for the gender of our children. The moment we express anything other than being totally overjoyed at having a baby of either sex we are labeled ungrateful, selfish, a bad mother, whatever. And yet those who have both genders never fail to mention how "thrilled" they are to have both. It is SO hypocritical.

[Abifasc]

I also have a solid sway opposite in the oven. These boys are determined! I'm sorry it didn't go your way but I'm finding myself more attached to Micah than I was during previous pregnancies because I worked hard for him to be here regardless.

[Nahri]

I tell myself the same thing (I know easier to say now when I don't know) That I threw my all into this sway it was a kitchen sink method that Im surprised it didnt take longer than 6 months to get pregnant because we were pretty much down the list of oh you suggest all these things? Got them ALL. lol But I did EVERYTHING I could do that is known and if I get an opposite then at least I can say I gave it EVERYTHING and my husbands sperm just hate me LOL

[Coffepot]

You all make me laugh. There is something so comforting about this site. It is so nice to be "understood" without having to explain every little detail. I keep coming back to this thread-even if there are no new posts-to re read your supportive comments and comforting stories. I'm realizing that part of the "hard part" is that once you have one gender everyone "hopes" you have the opposite gender the second time around. I can start to accept it, but it's people's pity that is ridiculous! I have only told one friend I am preggo and lied to her last night that I hope it's a boy. Her response, "REALLY?!! Don't you want a girl?" I gave her a list of reasons I am hoping it's boy. THis way, when I tell her at xmas that "it" is a boy-maybe she can be happy for me.

[covered in blue]

The ladies here are great aren't they . It is hard to tell everyone it's a boy when you are still dealing with GD yourself. I got some pearler comments I can tell you! Especially with DS3. My mum refused to believe it would be a third boy. She had to go through her own little GD journey. She knitted him some sweet little lacy pink tops and got them out to show me so many times I lost count. The rest of our families were alright for the most part but my girlfriends were shocking. I think people just don't think before they speak. And people seem to pass judgement both ways. Like if you pretend to be happy about another boy they try to convince you a little girl would be good too. And if you express disappointment then they will say something like "as long as it's healthy!" and you end up feeling guilty for feeling this way. But really you are allowed to feel how you feel!
This little guy is a heart stealer though! A bonus baby boy that you didn't know that you needed xxx

[bubble12]

Just wanted to say I got pregnant on day 8 of cycle after hubby had a vasectomy,had lost 2 stone & from what ive read on swaying I was swaying girl not intentionally of course because I thought we weren't having any more but found out on 17th oct that im having a 3rd son .Im ashamed to say I had a melt down at the hospital & cried myself to sleep that it wasn't a girl but give it a little time as already im feeling so good about my little boy .My mum joked saying its not 100% a boy & it actually filled me with dread that it could now be a girl!! I didn't go through that hell of gd for nothing to then find out it is actually a girl after all.Dont know if im making any sense but I never thought I would feel happy about my 3rd son 2 weeks ago but Im so very excited to be carrying him & he did win the race & is meant to be in our lives just like your little boy xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic I agree completely. The one I often use is that it's like saying it doesn't matter what sort of wedding you have as long as you're married at the end. True I guess, but if I had shown up for my own wedding & it had been a Bollywood-style event, I was handed a sparkly red sari instead of my white wedding dress & we all sat on the floor and ate curry I would have felt really removed from my own wedding day because, while that sounds like a fun & beautiful wedding to attend as a guest for someone else, that isn't remotely what I wanted. We are allowed to want whatever we want & plan to make whatever we want happen in every other area of our lives except for the gender of our children. The moment we express anything other than being totally overjoyed at having a baby of either sex we are labeled ungrateful, selfish, a bad mother, whatever. And yet those who have both genders never fail to mention how "thrilled" they are to have both. It is SO hypocritical.

I got more sympathy from certain parties when I ordered a kitchen countertop that ended up being sold out and discontinued than I did for having my 4th boy. Now I'm not saying I necessarily WANTED sympathy but it's like so many people will lose their sh-- over something like a countertop but we are just expected to bear the loss of the dream of having a child of a particular gender, totally stoically or we are somehow monsters. :/