What I would do differently

[atomic sagebrush]

I have so many obsessive tendencies it's not even funny. I think I border OCD for many things. Should I not be an all boy mom
I'm getting more laid back the last couple of years, Im much more relaxed and the need for things to be PERFECT is much less these days.

Well, the thing is that there is STILL the diet, exercise, maternal condition part of the equation and also the "privileged daughter" hypothesis where if your body "detects" that your daughters will be beautiful and successful, you'll have more girls as a result.

Maternal condition is part of the puzzle. Personality factors are part of the puzzle. These things work TOGETHER along with whatever your hubs brings to the table and a heaping spoonful of LUCK!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I wonder what kind of personality traits make you more likely to have a mixed gender family. And I mean families that have boy, girl, boy or gbgb in consecutive order like they just ordered it that way

They have more luck than the rest of us.

YOu guys have to understand that Mary and Martha are not really TYPES of people, they are STRATEGIES that anyone can use (and we all use both Mary and Martha types of things all the time). So it is normal for people to be more Mary, or more Martha during different points of their life and that coupled iwth condition, fertility, their husband's contribution, and luck, makes it ENTIRELY possible for people to get different genders.

Most people get different genders of kids at some point without even trying. It feels like this impossible thing from where we sit but really, it cannot be that hard (or even hard at all) since most manage it with no effort at all.

[Dana-Alicia]

Pink_bean, your story sounds very similar to mine! I lost a confirmed girl during pregnancy and then went on to have 2 boys. I was much more at peace with my second son, did not suffer PND, but with Ds1 it was a nightmare, suffered from PND badly. It does sound like you've come a long way and I do hope you and your husband will give it one more try. FX for a little girl, but if not, I hope you find peace and strength in knowing you gave it your all.

[pink_bean]

Thank you, Dana-Alicia! It helps to know I'm not alone. Your comment means a lot to me! I'm so sorry for your loss, as well.

[Dana-Alicia]

It does help to know I'm not alone as well! This site is full of lovely girls who know what we are going through and don't think we are spoiled or ungrateful or whatever it is we fear we feel. FX we all get what we want!

[pink_bean]

They have more luck than the rest of us.

YOu guys have to understand that Mary and Martha are not really TYPES of people, they are STRATEGIES that anyone can use (and we all use both Mary and Martha types of things all the time). So it is normal for people to be more Mary, or more Martha during different points of their life and that coupled iwth condition, fertility, their husband's contribution, and luck, makes it ENTIRELY possible for people to get different genders.

Most people get different genders of kids at some point without even trying. It feels like this impossible thing from where we sit but really, it cannot be that hard (or even hard at all) since most manage it with no effort at all.

Sometimes I feel like if I wouldn't have been trying so hard to get pregnant the first time (lots of supps, pre-seed, healthy diet) before I even knew about swaying and if I hadn't tried to sway the second time and then quit suddenly, I feel like maybe I might have actually had a shot at a girl. What I'm saying is if anything I was inadvertently swaying boy. Maybe I'm not just a Martha type. Or maybe I am and I would've had boys anyway. But my husband said that God gave us these baby boys for a reason and I do believe that. I'm not overly religious but I do believe it was meant to be.

Also our men have to have more than a little something to do with it. I know a guy who had 6 girls with 6 different women. He finally had a boy after a girl with the 6th one.

P.S. I'm in no way undermining all the work and research you have done. I think it's genius and glad this site exists! Just sharing some thoughts. I think there are so many variables.

[atomic sagebrush]

You are not alone there and I think the exact same thing. I wonder a lot if I hadn't been so convinced with my 3rd that at 36 I was "probably infertile" and had to take tons of vitamins, and then with my 4th I was swaying the IG way and taking a bunch of supps, I wonder if one might have been a girl. I know there were other times I was exercising a lot and not eating much and I just didn't happen to get pg then.

That is why I say I think that people who have both genders are just luckier. That's all.

Where men are concerned, don't forget that some guys are attracted to certain types of women and that may not be as cut and dry as you think.

I will say once again that there aren't really Martha types or Mary types. These are STRATEGIES we use and if we are Martha more often than Mary, that may just be because that is what the environment we are in, and/or that we grew up in, has encouraged us to adopt a more Martha approach to life. It isn't set in stone in any way.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that has "wrecked" it for MANY of us. I see it time after time that we who are over 35 and even some cases over 30, maybe becasue we are "Marthas" but we get so worked up and anxious about fertility and baby's health that we do a blue sway just in order to conceive, when we did NOT ever need to do all that. Our fertility was fine and the odds of Down Syndrome are kind of like being struck by lightning, it's just the worst luck on that and NOT because someone didn't eat the right foods, yk??

I could not agree more that it is absolute fear mongering and hugely exaggerated based on outdated information gleaned from a tiny handful of cases decades ago. I suspect strongly that for those of us with proven fertility the situation over 35 is NOT as dire as they make it out to be. Heck, I conceived pretty easily at 41 and I think back being SO convinced at 36 that I needed to do anything and everything to boost my fertility, well, I boosted myself right into another boy and he's my closest one to seeming like he has something "wrong" with him despite all that (has a challenging personality, very hyper, short attention span, reverses letters and numbers, and mild spinabifida).

NOw all that having been said, I don't like you guys to hem and haw and try to do 9 zillion sway tactics to postpone conception either, but I just hate to see ladies so convinced (on the basis of no evidence) that htey are "probably menopausal" that they then take and do things that sway blue on the basis of nothing but fear, yk??