Uk ladies

[Kittybear]

I don't think it's greedy Hun, I think it is a perfectly natural feeling (to want to raise/ experience both genders). IMO you only live once, so might as well live the life you want and love with as few regrets as possible xx

[foxymrsg]

I didn't find out with either of mine but defo will next time but pron won't tell anyone else. That way either way I can deal with it my own way. But with ds2 the final few weeks of my pregnancy were filled with anxiety over if it's a boy it girl. I'd love the surprise of a girl in the delivery room but dint think I could handle a third boy surprise I'd rather know but as I say not tell anyone so don't have to hear the condolences that everyone else can't wait to hand out!
Agree with the regrets though. My fav saying it everyone is that when I look back on my life as an old woman I will never regret the children I've had, just the ones I didn't when I am young enough to try once more. At least then I'll know if I have another boy I'll have given it my all and what will be will be. At least I can say I tried and I'll still have a beautiful boy.

[Mrs_Incredible]

I felt exactly the same MOB. Where's the surprise when i already have 3 boys. I was ill from 6/7 weeks. I was wondering if i was totally selfish having another baby instead of just enjoying our family. Dh was on board, but for me mainly, he would not have regretted NOT having another despite wanting a daughter badly too. He could have lived with it. When i was feeling permanently hung over, 99.9% sure it was ds4 on the way, i couldn't get excited. I felt rough and wondered how i would cope with the sadness when gender was confirmed. I felt i didn't deserve any baby. The scans were my high points, seeing a blob develop into a little wriggling baby was magical. At my 12 week scan she said it looked like a boy. I was very down but still loved my rainbow baby boy. But it was the end of the dream, my dream, and the worry of my being selfish and not being happy with my lot was playing on my mind. I was still feeling awful and i just hoped I'd get excited once the illness stage passed. So many mixed emotions. I guess i feel guilty and shallow at being giddy and so excited, lottery win happy, all over gender.... I'm sure it will haunt me just like gd has done. I'm still scared the harmony test, scans at 16&17 weeks turn out to be wrong xx

[motherofboys]

I was really hoping that once I am pregnant I'll be able to just say that the baby is whatever gender they are, there's no changing it now and just get on with it.
I don't want to find out but I was actually considering telling people that we already knew and it was a boy, I think I could deal with the 'another boy' comments easier than the 'wonder if you'll get a girl' comments and the 'if it's a girl will you stop?' Like I've only had so many to get a girl.
I think I need something else to take my mind off it all, but don't want to start anything that will just add to stress.
I've already got all ds2s birthday presents for October, and 2 of ds4s again for October, and a couple of Christmas presents. But everything I look at there's those reminders of the things I still can't buy.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

I has a blighted ovum just before this pg, i had loads of pg symptoms but the baby was not meant to be, so even though a sticky healthy growing bean was my priority, gender was still there, sometimes in the background and other times very much taking over my thoughts. I think its hard when you feel the way we do for it to not be an issue despite our best intentions xxx

[motherofboys]

Health is always the top priority but it would be so nice to just not care about gender. I was lucky in done respects as I did want boys first, so although I really didn't care that much with my first I was over the moon to be having a healthy boy. I know some people want a girl from that very first baby and just don't get them. That must be even harder.


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[foxymrsg]

I felt exactly the same MOB. Where's the surprise when i already have 3 boys. I was ill from 6/7 weeks. I was wondering if i was totally selfish having another baby instead of just enjoying our family. Dh was on board, but for me mainly, he would not have regretted NOT having another despite wanting a daughter badly too. He could have lived with it. When i was feeling permanently hung over, 99.9% sure it was ds4 on the way, i couldn't get excited. I felt rough and wondered how i would cope with the sadness when gender was confirmed. I felt i didn't deserve any baby. The scans were my high points, seeing a blob develop into a little wriggling baby was magical. At my 12 week scan she said it looked like a boy. I was very down but still loved my rainbow baby boy. But it was the end of the dream, my dream, and the worry of my being selfish and not being happy with my lot was playing on my mind. I was still feeling awful and i just hoped I'd get excited once the illness stage passed. So many mixed emotions. I guess i feel guilty and shallow at being giddy and so excited, lottery win happy, all over gender.... I'm sure it will haunt me just like gd has done. I'm still scared the harmony test, scans at 16&17 weeks turn out to be wrong xx

This! This is exactly the same as DH! He really wants a girl but will do it for he he could carry on not trying once more for a girl! I just know in my heart I can't! I need to at least try!
Soo delighted you've got your daughter baking away mrs incredible! Helps give us all hope I think!

[motherofboys]

I think this is the one place where I don't feel like "urgh SHE got a girl" because I know how hard people have tried and we are all in this together. I think that's why I feel like such a cow towards my friend who just had a boy. We first met through a forum similar to this but just for parenting after our 1st babies were born. Her girl in jan my boy in feb. We were both ttc number 2 quite quickly after so got chatting. Even then she wanted a boy and she joked about swapping when we both found out we were having another of what we already had. She looked into timing for her 3rd but had a 3rd girl. And it was more by luck than anything else that she got a boy for her 4th. I should be happy for her, and I am. But I still feel like why her and not me.


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[Babybeaublue]

I feel happy for the ladies on here too. I think it's because we are all working so damn hard for our dg while those irl seem to get it so easy it makes me mad. After my mmc I asked atomic to dial back my sway a bit as I was afraid it would happen again, but fast forward 2 months and I'm back in full swing ... even tho its still at the back of my mind that things could go wrong again.

[motherofboys]

You know what, it just hit me. Why I feel like this when I had wanted my friend to be happy and have the boy she dreamed of. I'm worried I've lost her. Like my other friend who, after 2 boys followed by a girl forgot what it was like to want a child of a certain gender so desperately. What if next time I try to talk to her about wanting a girl she just brushes me off? What if she now forgets what it was like? It's one more person to potentially hide my feelings from, one less person who understands me.


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