Boy #4 for us.

[Flava]

I could not sleep last night. Laid in bed and cried. All I could think is if we just had 2 we could travel or go to Disneyworld, instead of struggling financially. All because I was greedy and selfish and kept forcing it..

This is how I felt exactly before .Only I have 4 girl no boy. And here Im trying again.Maybe we are crazy and will have girl#5 soon...but the damn hope is still here!

Im so sorry you are sad .Hope you feel better soon !XXX

[envisioned]

anyway long story short, we went on vacation. we had a great time. we have wonderful memories instead of failed cycles. i learned to love being a girl mom. i adore my girls. i like having a large family of all one gender and screw eveyone who looks at me funny and asks whats wrong with musband? why can't he make a boy? we threw all the swaying crap out the window although our lives are very girl friendly. no diet, no pills, no timing. our sex life improved. low and behold its a boy! sometimes if you just take a step back and "chill out" everything falls into place.

I really needed to read your post today. It made me cry. In fact I'm crying as I type this. Thank you for it. Truly. It's just one of those really bad self pity days where I had a dream where I was telling someone that had I gotten pregnant again it'd be another daughter. I woke up just foul b/c I never seem to have dreams of having a boy. And I think what you say is true. We spend SO much time consumed by this angst and anger that we have. It's on my mind when I go shopping and see pigeon pair families. It's on my mind when I see signatures in blog posts in forums. It's hits me everytime I go check a blog and the about section always has the perfect million dollar family photo in it. There are days where you're so angry and think if you can just tweak your diet and eat enough steak and potatos then maybe it'll happen. And then you look at people who have one of each and I sincerely doubt that they went through all of that. Sometimes you need to let go of the anger. I feel like it's this bad self fulfilling prophecy in that if I think I am going to be miserable then I will be. I have to get to a point where you were at. Where you need to stop hating your situation and feel like it WILL get better.

[juffertje2]

Feel the same way.....sometimes I wonder when or even if I will ever be sincerly happy again........Just be blessed with the four healthy boys I have......enjoy my family and never, ever have to worry about the girl that's never here.....But stupidly enough my heart wont agree with my mind.....that's the problem.....If I had to scale my situation from 1 to 10 it would be a 4 at the moment. But I wish could enjoy this pregnancy...All I feel is: get it over with.....As soon as this boy is out, I will have a shot at my girl again. Isn't it June yet???? I completely forget to enjoy en to experience this pregnancy, and give this boy the attention he needs.

[fiveboysandagirl]

Hi shouldihope?. I've been reading this thread and wanted to reply to you. I particularly wanted to tell you about my fourth son (I have five).

Having already had severe GD with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies I rode the rollercoaster yet again for a 4th time. I had the scan, heard "it's a boy" and proceeded to go home and cry, for weeks and weeks. But something changed in my head after a while. I picked out a name for him and started talking to him in my belly. I promised to love him no matter what, cos I figured if I couldn't who else would? You know the internal conversations that go on in your head! I started to feel overwhelmingly protective of him. I bought him a whole bunch of new clothes in colours I loved, no pastel blue allowed! By the time I went into labour I couldn't wait to meet him. Now I have to tell you, that little baby was my saviour. I looked into his eyes when he was born and recognised myself in him. I really felt like he was sent from heaven to 'fix' me. The two of us are like peas in a pod. He is 3 1/2 now and still ends up in my bed, with his arms wrapped around my neck, most nights. HE makes my heart melt.

We have since gone on to have another son who wasn't really planned. He's a lovely little thing but the GD was horrendous! I'm thinking about going high tech but to be honest I felt 'complete' after my fourth son. Everything was utterly perfect. that picture you have in your head as a young woman, of the baby you will have one day, he fits that picture for me. I think my GD only came back because I got pregnant again and the possibility was there, briefly. If my fourth had been my last I can honestly say I would have been fulfilled and content with that.

So I suppose I'm just telling you all this because, your fourth son might be the most fulfilling experience you have ever had. It certainly was my happiest baby-mummying time!
xxx

[Myloves]

Hi shouldihope?. I've been reading this thread and wanted to reply to you. I particularly wanted to tell you about my fourth son (I have five).

Having already had severe GD with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies I rode the rollercoaster yet again for a 4th time. I had the scan, heard "it's a boy" and proceeded to go home and cry, for weeks and weeks. But something changed in my head after a while. I picked out a name for him and started talking to him in my belly. I promised to love him no matter what, cos I figured if I couldn't who else would? You know the internal conversations that go on in your head! I started to feel overwhelmingly protective of him. I bought him a whole bunch of new clothes in colours I loved, no pastel blue allowed! By the time I went into labour I couldn't wait to meet him. Now I have to tell you, that little baby was my saviour. I looked into his eyes when he was born and recognised myself in him. I really felt like he was sent from heaven to 'fix' me. The two of us are like peas in a pod. He is 3 1/2 now and still ends up in my bed, with his arms wrapped around my neck, most nights. HE makes my heart melt.

We have since gone on to have another son who wasn't really planned. He's a lovely little thing but the GD was horrendous! I'm thinking about going high tech but to be honest I felt 'complete' after my fourth son. Everything was utterly perfect. that picture you have in your head as a young woman, of the baby you will have one day, he fits that picture for me. I think my GD only came back because I got pregnant again and the possibility was there, briefly. If my fourth had been my last I can honestly say I would have been fulfilled and content with that.

So I suppose I'm just telling you all this because, your fourth son might be the most fulfilling experience you have ever had. It certainly was my happiest baby-mummying time!
xxx

Such a sweet post

[I♥DKB?]

Hi shouldihope?. I've been reading this thread and wanted to reply to you. I particularly wanted to tell you about my fourth son (I have five).

Having already had severe GD with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies I rode the rollercoaster yet again for a 4th time. I had the scan, heard "it's a boy" and proceeded to go home and cry, for weeks and weeks. But something changed in my head after a while. I picked out a name for him and started talking to him in my belly. I promised to love him no matter what, cos I figured if I couldn't who else would? You know the internal conversations that go on in your head! I started to feel overwhelmingly protective of him. I bought him a whole bunch of new clothes in colours I loved, no pastel blue allowed! By the time I went into labour I couldn't wait to meet him. Now I have to tell you, that little baby was my saviour. I looked into his eyes when he was born and recognised myself in him. I really felt like he was sent from heaven to 'fix' me. The two of us are like peas in a pod. He is 3 1/2 now and still ends up in my bed, with his arms wrapped around my neck, most nights. HE makes my heart melt.

We have since gone on to have another son who wasn't really planned. He's a lovely little thing but the GD was horrendous! I'm thinking about going high tech but to be honest I felt 'complete' after my fourth son. Everything was utterly perfect. that picture you have in your head as a young woman, of the baby you will have one day, he fits that picture for me. I think my GD only came back because I got pregnant again and the possibility was there, briefly. If my fourth had been my last I can honestly say I would have been fulfilled and content with that.

So I suppose I'm just telling you all this because, your fourth son might be the most fulfilling experience you have ever had. It certainly was my happiest baby-mummying time!
xxx

My eyes are swelling with tears. This was beautiful.

[juffertje2]

read that post in tears. I felt the same with my #3......had a huge GD but once he was born he was my precious...he still is.....No one will ever come between us! But again with #4 I had some little hope that this would be my turn to have a girl...but no...

[shouldihope?]

Juffer- I can so relate to where you are right now. Angry, emotional, struggling to be around others and be pleasant at all sometimes. Tired of hearing oh so sorry, my condolences and other comments from people. The one difference I have to say is that I do not want to try again. I will never be over my desire and DH has now come around to say we can try again. I do not want to go through pregnancy again and also the depression that comes with the sway opposite. If you do try again I do hope you hear pink.

fiveboysandagirl- Thanks so much for your post. I truly hope that I have a similar experience with DS4. With all my other pregnancies I never held out any thought or hope the tech may have been wrong. This time I am. I know that ultimately it is NOT possible and will just make things much more difficult, but I so want to be DONE and complete and just worried I won't be EVER.

Thanks for everyone's kind words and support. It is hard to come here and post because I feel like everyone I swayed with is getting their DG and I just FAILED. Looking at their posts and ultrasounds feels like torture sometimes. Horrible I know. Happy for them but brings the pain flooding back.

[hopingforalily]

I am so sorry you are hurting...I know exactly where you are right now....I have suffered through GD and EGD....DS#3 was my GD baby, and he turned out to be my little love! I cant imagine my life without him now...I know thats what people keep saying and I know that its hard to see thats very well how this little guy can be for you, its hard to look past the pain right now. Swaying doesnt always work for everyone I really wish it did...I have been where you are feeling like everyone else gets their desired gender and you dont....again...I have asked the universe all the same questions I am sure you have. I have walked in your shoes...I know the feelings all too well Please feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk. Trust me when I tell you I have felt every dark feeling imaginable (hence the EGD) there isnt anything you could or would ever tell me that would make me ever judge you I promise! Big hugs to you! xoxo

[juffertje2]

yup! Been there, done that! i've felt every dark feeling aswell! Still don't know how I got through that period! Don't feel ashamed. We know the feeling!