DUE JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2020

[4blue2pink]

We don't do stay at home here anyway. You know when someone gives birth at home, it's always accidental. And not well looked upon like "you could have put the baby in danger !".

Oh no not any change cause it was not related to choices I made or could make. Baby came too fast (only 3 hours after first contraction), it was a bad day with full moon and lots of women giving birth at the same time. And I didn't know it at the time but the hospital had just run into financial problems and was severly understaffed and equiped. I was left into the hands of young panicked interns who didn't know left from right, nobody really checked me, only the lady cleaning the room told them "she's at the end, she's going to give birth". They couldn't tell where the baby was, they told me to shut up because I was wailing in pain, saying I was a sissy and annoyingly loud and they couldn't work. They didn't believe me when I said I felt the head of the baby between my legs and tried to force me to stay sitting, threatening to not give me the anesthetic if I refused to obey... which I link to refusing analgesics to a patient in pain and idk about the other countries but it's supposed to be a serious professionnal mistake. I had to fight them off to lie down so that DD2 could end up on the table and not on the ground and thankfully I succeeded. They were shocked into silence. TBH some didn't even see the baby roll on the table and were ready to force me up again.

So yeah... Never ever again. But I don't get to choose the day of birth, the financial health and the staff of an hospital. I'm tempted to ask if they can take me in a few days before my due date just so I can have the anesthetic quickly enough. But I doubt they will be able to, they already lack rooms. And with Corona ? Not a chance to find a hospital in good financial health and not severly understaffed... So doubly doubting now. Home looks more and more safer. Only thing worrying is if there are complications, then I won't get help. Though complications can happen at the hospital too.

But yeah that bad experience has left me very fearful of pain. Before I was quite strong on that end, I could suck it up a long time. Now even the slightest scratch sends me back to that day and I just want to roll into a ball and scream. I panic, I can't breathe, I know it's ridiculous and just a little injury but my whole body freezes as if bracing for the pain of birth.

And no, can't get help about that. Will either be told it's my fault and to think about all the poor women who actually died of childbirth instead of being a sissy or be given some anxiety medication that won't make the memory go away. And seriously though, is it normal to take meds cause you can't control yourself anymore whenever you feel pain ?

So well, I think at least at home, I will be able to scream and lie down to my heart's content. ><

Im so sorry you were treated like that, though sadly i think they will be even more under-staffed and struggling now they are not allowed to refuse you pain relief here but if you dont have time to get the epidural they offer other things mainly entonox gas ("gas and air") or an injection of diamorphine or pethidine.
Ask if they will take you in early and do an induction, tell them you are worried about having a very fast birth and not getting to the hospital. surely if homebirth is so frowned upon it would be better for you to be at the hospital for induction than to give birth even faster this time and have baby in the car or something..
Over here women with fast uncomplicated births are often encouraged to have homebirths to avoid them not making it to the hospital.
If you stay at home will you go to the hospital after and tell them it was too fast? basically have a planned "accidental" homebirth? You are right there are risks wherever you are and i think you need to be where you will feel safest, only you know what is right for you and you never know maybe this baby will really come so fast that you have a homebirth anyway!!

[tillytys]

I dont want to start any more worry but agree that banning home births and birth partners is a dangerous move, I wonder will the governments start changing policies when the possible losses of mothers and babies start mounting up

I have birthed most of mine in hospital with just the staff and it has been bliss, what happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room With my 1st DH was drunk still! so I chucked him out, wit the 2nd he was absolutely petrified and I was offering him a chair and asking the nurses to get him a drink between contractions he was there for the birth but I swear still has PTSD from it, the rest, just me and the pro's I do worry about this latest one as the last 2 deliveries were long and ugly, epidural both needed both times which may not be available this time with staffing? It will be ok for us all, I know it

[tillytys]

SORA!!! Im so excited for you for today!!!!!!!!! Whether pink or blue, perfect and healthy and one less thing to be obsessing over

[Sora]

SORA!!! Im so excited for you for today!!!!!!!!! Whether pink or blue, perfect and healthy and one less thing to be obsessing over

I'm sorry. I failed. I thank you all for all the love, prayers and support I couldn't have found otherwise. I'm a mess right now. The tech was very understanding. Thank you. Atomic you may put me in the failed sway. I don't wish so much pain on anyone.

[tillytys]

Sora Im so sorry you didnt hear your DG Was it a clear picture? I bet she is absolutely gooorgeous!!!! I wish you were near by because I would be able to shout my excitement across the street to you You are a star and every negative person around you can go and do one!!! Sorry again but congratulations on your gorgeous baby

[4blue2pink]

I'm sorry. I failed. I thank you all for all the love, prayers and support I couldn't have found otherwise. I'm a mess right now. The tech was very understanding. Thank you. Atomic you may put me in the failed sway. I don't wish so much pain on anyone.

sending you so much love Sora it is the most agonising feeling and to of had to go through it alone is even worse, i am glad the tech was supportive, how has your husband reacted? Dont let go of your desire for this baby to help heal your past trauma's and give you a positive pregnany/birth/parenting experience. I know she isnt the boy you want and need but she still has the ability to give you a whole new experience. I know you wont be able to see past the pain of GD (no judgement, ive been there) but you CAN still have a good birth and a good experience of being a mum to this child dont let go of that xxx

[4blue2pink]

I dont want to start any more worry but agree that banning home births and birth partners is a dangerous move, I wonder will the governments start changing policies when the possible losses of mothers and babies start mounting up

I have birthed most of mine in hospital with just the staff and it has been bliss, what happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room With my 1st DH was drunk still! so I chucked him out, wit the 2nd he was absolutely petrified and I was offering him a chair and asking the nurses to get him a drink between contractions he was there for the birth but I swear still has PTSD from it, the rest, just me and the pro's I do worry about this latest one as the last 2 deliveries were long and ugly, epidural both needed both times which may not be available this time with staffing? It will be ok for us all, I know it

I agree Tilly, it is an insane move, i can see why they have done it but i dont think they thought about the consequences.. private companies are picking up the pieces for homebirths but they cant cover everyone and many women cant afford thousands of pounds for a private homebirth many hospital birth mums are now terrified to have to go in alone and wanting to stay home so the numbers of women wanting homebirth is rising too.
When are you due? I hope you can have your epidural, are they limiting them to emergency situations only now? If women cant get pain relief AND have to be alone i think even more will opt to stay home. xx

[Pinkin2019]

Hi ladies, hope I can join your group - due in July also. Feeling concerned about the Covid-19 virus and the effects for those who are pregnant and the birthing process. Crazy times! Never ever thought I’d have to contemplate a homebirth but now I’m not sure if hospital would be the best choice. And the thought of no epidural scares the bejezus out of me.
Anyway, would like to keep in touch with those in the same boat. Take care x

[Pinkin2019]

Sora - I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. GD is real and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody either. I hope time will heal for you x

[tillytys]

Hows everybody doing?? Feeling very slowly and clumsy here! Looking forward to a sweep at 39 weeks so hopefully will have little one in the last few days of July if Im lucky