For people that want to record what they are eating (to help be strict!)

[zanacal]

Well done mocha - doesn't sound very romantic though A day off sounds good!

[Mochagirl]

I forgot to mention that though there were no bears, there was a fox nearby we passed on our way back to the cottage.

I'm hoping I'll O late since I don't know how many attempts I'll get in while we're here....

[DoulaMama]

Mocha- I really hope that this is your month, Hun! Have a great time!
Swish- I'm really sorry about the bfn Keep your head up- you can do this Mama!

Afm- I've been doing very well. I'm down 6 lbs now. Yesterday was a bit of a disaster(1500 cals and 60 protein) but I was also unexpectedly out and about. I'm coming down with my kids cold so that kinda sucks but hey- it'll help with the diet and hunger at least! I've also been really down in the dumps emotionally. I had a vivid dream about #4 being a boy and it really hit me hard. I thought about it a lot for the past few days...wondering about HT in Mexico, searching my heart and trying to figure out WHY I want a girl. Its not for the pink or the wedding, or the grand kids- all of which might not happen. It's the potential relationship, the closeness that I have with my mom. But what if I don't get that? What if I put all of my eggs into one basket and have huge expectations in regards to my girl? If I go HT, and it works....what if it's not everything I hoped it would be? Will I regret it all and look back and wonder what it would have been like to just let nature take it's course? I have the money to do 2 cycles in Mexico....but thats my school savings for Midwifery school. What if i dont get pregnant? And at the end of a HT pregnancy will i feel the same way towards a child that a Dr picked for me instead of knowing that my baby was conceived with just luck and chance?

I've been in tears most of the day I really think that I'm going to get another boy- and I know it shouldn't matter. I know that I need to try to have the kind of relationship with my boys that I have with my mom. Gender shouldn't matter. But for some reason it REALLY does. I can list off all the reasons it doesn't matter and list all the reasons it does but in the end, having a girl seems to be something I can't even explain- I feel I need her in my life. I'm so scared that I'm going to have a boy and then I'll spend the next year obsessing and wondering if I can convince my hubby to go ONE MORE TIME all the while I miss my kids childhood because all I can think about is my girl. And then the only way I would go for a fifth is HT. And then would I regret not doing HT for #4?My mind is so heavy right now. I'm lost.
Sorry for all this....I don't have many people to talk to and it's just so overwhelming sometimes. Take care

[zanacal]

Oh DM, I'm so sorry you're so down. I don't have any answers I'm afraid but I completely understand everything you've said. I flirted with the idea of HT for around 1/2 an hour - until I realised that I wouldn't necessarily get pregnant and have a baby from it! There's absolutely no way we could condone paying that sort of money for something which would be so difficult logistically and would possibly not end up with a baby anyway! In my heart I'm expecting that 4th baby boy and whilst I long for that baby girl (and wouldn't be going through all this otherwise) I do feel I could 'get over it' and accept my all boy family knowing that we did our best but I know and understand that it's not so easy for everyone to accept (and who's to actually know how any of us will feel unless we're in that position). Anyway, I haven't helped you at all and have ranted on about me - so sorry, just hugs xxx Well done on the weight loss btw, that's fantastic

[zanacal]

Here's my food for the day - mummy gets some special treats on Saturday!

Lunch: cucumber, tomato and feta with balsamic in 2 mini pittas, cheese and onion crisps, 1 boiled sweet
Dinner: Waitrose roasted vegetable ravioli topped with 1/2 tin tomatoes and parmesan. 1 doughnut!
Snack: Not sure, maybe some tutti fruttis as I have plenty of calories and no protein/sodium allowance left!

[Mochagirl]

Sorry, DM...we've all been there. Dh is morally opposed to ht, and we could never afford it anyway, so that was never an option for me. This is our last baby no matter what, so I'm constantly trying to mentally prepare myself if it ends up being a boy. I just want to know I tried my hardest so I won't have any regrets.

[swish]

Mocha, well done!! Glad the bears didn't get you! you are definately working hard to earn your girl!!!
zani, what are the nutritional contents for that pasta, I love filled pasta!! I hadn't even considered I could have that
Dm, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad, big hugs to you! Firstly, your children are what you make them and I whole heartedly believe you can have the same close relationship with a son, I know many grown men that do have that relationship with their mums. Like you say nothing is guaranteed and you just can't predict what yours or your children's futures will hold. I think you have to be 100 % happy with a 4 th boy, as we all know it's quite likely. If you think there's a chance you might go for ht if you don't get a girl this time, it is worth serious consideration now. Maybe it would help to talk to some of the ht girls as I know quite a few swayed and then ended up going for ht anyway. Lots of love to you, xx
Today's food....
No breakfast
Lunch carrot and coriander soup with a little bit of bread and a bite of carrot cake ( we were out and this was the best I could do- probably bit high in sodium!) frozen yogurt
Dinner courgette lasagne, this was a bit of work but was a real meal - lovely!! Maybe a bit high in calories but I need them!! Ww carrot cake, strawberries and meringue

[Mochagirl]

I'm really struggling to keep to the diet. Everyone's in vacation mode so there are treats everywhere. I had a really small lunch because we're having pizza for dinner. I'm sure I'll be high in sodium today....

[zanacal]

The courgette lasagne sounds great too swish - how did you make it? I don't think the ravioli was ideal because it was made with egg pasta and there was probably garlic/olives/onion in it but it would only have been in tiny quantities and I rarely have any eggs. In half pack there was 233 cals, 10g protein, 200mg sodium so not bad at all. I used 1/2 tin napoli tinned tomatoes on top and they only have 44 cals, 2.2g protein and a trace of sodium.

[Mochagirl]

I was a bad girl today...

Breakfast: coffee
Lunch: half bagel with light cream cheese, strawberries
Supper: 5 (!!) small square slices of cheese pizza, one mini powdered sugar doughnut

I'm sure I was way over for sodium today and I 'm not proud of myself for eating 5 pieces, even if they were small. Bad timing too because I'm due to O in the next few days.

Dh and I didn't manage to dtd today. It's just too hard in a 3 bdrm cottage with 11 people sleeping in it. I'm starting to panic that we won't get a good attempt in this month