Uk SMOG Wannabes ~ January

[Lavenderlime]

Babymad, been thinking of you all afternoon. Was wandering if you felt you could tell dh as perhaps it would help to talk to someone. Might help the floodgates to properly open and that might help with the process of greiving for a dd. I know it did for me when i went through the same with ds2. lots of love X

Lavender...ooo yes i didnt realise you attempted at all, so it could well be implantation!!! Exciting!

Deaks wasn't really an attempt as we've used the withdrawal method for about a year as (slack) contraception and I haven't got pregnant but I did use rephresh before DD anyhow because swaying has made me a little paranoid.
I really do think it's my hormones.

Just read this 15 Kids and Counting - Why I'm not dying for a baby if any of you watched 15 kids and counting it's the blog of the slightly bonkers mum pregnant with twin girls, well that's how she was edited. I thought her twins looked a good size for being born at 34 weeks and she left after two days turns out they weren't rushed in and were born at 36+ weeks! Bad editing. Worth a read.

[HopeandDreamG]

Hi ladies,
Hope it doesn't feel intrusive that I only pop on this thread every so often. I keep up with lots of the posts that are sent to my email, but you miss quite a bit not that way.
Ingelwood~ Love Love Love the names. Its awesome how they go together without being "too Much" like sara and sari. LOL (hope I didn't just offend someone) The connection is great without being blaringly obvious! AND the girls are beautiful!!!! They look so peaceful in the scan pics. So happy you finally really KNOW they are girls.

Babymad~ If I can say, I agree with everyone else about knowing for sure about your little bean. I lost a girl this summer, I know exactly how you feel. I'm not even preggers yet and I think knowing the gender of the baby I lost will make it all that much harder if my next ends up a boy. Hate admitting it but its true. I will be in a white coat! no, really I might be. I know eventually I'd get over it, probably from the moment they are in my arms. (pretty much how I felt with DS2). Just always thought I'd have girls. How could I not? F*&%! thats what I always pictured without question.

Sunset~ The pics are beautiful of ALL of you! You must be over the moon. Hope your enjoying every moment

Zanacal~ Thats exciting that you will get a 4D scan can't wait to see the pics.

Deaks~ Hope your attempt goes well. I saw it was coming up soon. I will attempt in February. Hopefully you'll get a BFP and I'll be right behind you.

[Sunset]

HopeandDreamG ~ Your attempt is coming up fast good luck!

Deaks ~ are you relaxing timing this month? you have to keep us posted on your attempt!!

Zanacal ~ when are you having a 4D?

Lavenderlime ~ I'm still convinced she and her hubby were trying for a girl... ? i had no idea urine infections can cause a headache? :S

[maybebabythree]

Ah sunset congratulations and hugs. You know life doesn't seem fair some days. It is greif your feeling. It really is a loss but like a loss you have to cry and scream to get through it. It's ok to feel bad. Bubs doesn't know your sad. Your not sad about him, he isnt making you sad. Your lost dream is making you sad. Xxxx

Pinga sorry about your mum. My dad died six weeks before I had ds1. It honestly never ever gets easier for me x

[Babymad]

Thanks for your understanding everyone xx
I know I will love this baby when he arrives but at the moment I just feel so numb, I don't feel like I have an attachment at all. I'm sure that will change as time goes on.
These feelings aren't new to me, I suppose the difference is this time is that its so final there are no more chances....
I'd do anything not to feel so sad and empty, all I can think of is the things I will never experience or do or have.....my head is full of everything, It feel likes it's going to explode!!!
I love my boys more than life and they bring me so much happiness and I am very grateful to have 3 healthy kids, but there's always been part of me that's feel lonely and I know the only thing that would have changed those feelings of loneliness is having a daughter.
Strange isn't it, all I could think of last night ( didn't sleep at all!) is how different my day will be depending on my news....I was so scared of hearing boy and I do feel like my world has fallen apart.....but I know I'm not the first to feel like this and I'm sure I won't be the last, I just kept hoping as I was driving to the app that I would be driving home the happiness person in the world......
I thought someone must be filming it and playing an awful joke on me as it was horrible, the sonographer asked me the usual q's, how many kids did I have, what sex they were.....and then she had the nerve to tell me she had two girls and a boy and how horrified she was at having a boy and she couldn't have anymore kids incase she had another boy, I just laid there thinking...WTF!! I then got home to find a NEXT parcel had arrived and it was a beautiful pink dress that I had ordered in the NEXT sale at Xmas (I know what an idiot!!!) the day was destined to be awful.
I dread people's pity when he arrives- most people know I would have liked a girl at some point so I'm sure they will feel sorry for me....I just wish I cold fast forward time so he was here and I could get on with it..sorry I know that sounds heartless but I know I now have another god knows how many weeks of people saying this could be your girl!!

Thanks for letting me have my rant!! I don't know what I would do without you girls....xxx

Deaks ~ I think I'll do better dealing with this on my own - DH is supportive but he doesn't really get the pain and he doesnt really understand that to me my whole life path has changed because I will never have a DD.....plus he's seen me like this before! He thought this baby would be a boy so he won't be shocked!!

Fingers crossed a good nights sleep and all will look better tomorrow......Xx

[threelittlemenandcounting]

Babymad huge huge hugs hun, hope you are feeling a little better xxxxxxxxxxx

[Kell]

So sorry, don't you worry about feeling this way, we all understand your woes it's why we are all here tbh, hugs Hun, just wish it could be a real one and a shoulder to cry on x

[deaks66]

Babymad, im so glad you are able to get your feelings off your chest with us and i do hope it helps. Its the day none of us want to face but some of us will and just knowing we can come on here and be supported means the world to us all. Your new baby (and your 3 bigger ones) are so lucky to have such an amazing mum and i really believe boys are given to some mums for a reason, because many mums would be hopeless with boys.

Sunset, im gonna relax timing in as much that im gonna dtd at around 8pm and 10pm on the day after my smiley face whether that is o+12 or not. I generally ov late so if anything it will be a little early but it will be much less stressful than cervix poking etc. My plan will be to get kids to bed, dh gets home, dtd, send dh down to make food, eat, tele, dtd, bed, done! much less stressful than cervix poking!

[zanacal]

Babymad - I can't believe the sonographer said that! Thank goodness your boys have you for a mum and not someone like her, I'm speechless!

[maybebabythree]

Wow babymad some people just say the most stupid things! I think with the comments about it being a possible girl, I find they make me smile now. I just say when people ask that I don't know the sex but I feel boy because I know boys and am a boy mum and have kept all my boys things. No one ever says after that they hope a girl is on it's way. To be honest I get more '3 - you must be mad!' comments. Again I just laugh. Not many people could hack three kids and my job but I like my hectic full little life.

If you need any boys things let me know. I can photograph my bits and post you what ever you like. Stay strong it will be a bit better tomorrow but I think it might hurt for a while yet x