Due June/July/August 2017 (2)

[All*blue*everything]

[QUOTE=BabsNMK;882327]

Hang in there sweetie! Give yourself some time. Everyone processes things differently and it may take until you hold him for things to ease up a bit. My DH says that his GD never changed how he felt about each of our boys, it was more the loss of the dream of having a DD. Know we are all here for you!

(((Huge Hugs)))


Thank you XX. This is exactly how I feel. I'm not sad about having another boy. I'm sad I'll never have a daughter. These boys are amazing...so active though I can't keep up. But knowing I will never have a daughter, even if she ended up the biggest tomboy, is the part I can't quite cope with yet. I've cried less today so I'm sure time will help.

I feel the same love my boys to bits I believe in fate if im ment to have a girl then I will, im struggling more with my Sil having a daughter at the same time as me...

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[Dreamsister]

Babs, I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It is normal. I have no advice other than time will heal and erverything will be allright. Maybe it also helps to write about it inhere and get some comfort and advice from other ladies. When I have a rough time I always remind myself that things could be worse (having cancer, losing a child, being a refugee and so on). I am thinking of you and sending you hugs. You will feel better soon.

[BabsNMK]

I have found this to be very helpful just writing it all out so thank you. Between here and IG I've just found words that are so helpful. My husband is incredibly supportive and trying so hard to offer me comfort. My mother (who we live with) has also been great. It's just hard because they don't know exactly how I feel. Although honestly I'm sure there's a part of my husband that probably is mourning never having a daughter just not to the degree I am.

It's harder to talk to my friends. They are either people who are of the belief that any baby is a blessing (obviously it is) or they have Both genders. I'm the only one that was crazy enough to go for three and definitely the only person I know who had three boys. I know some with three girls but it a single person with three boys.

[Rainbow16]

Hi all,

Sorry I've been MIA.
Christmas and New Years has been hectic, kids went back to school today (secretly cheering for some quiet, they had been bickering on stop!)
It was my birthday on Christmas Day, my partners 30th birthday today then my eldest son turns 8 at the end of the month. Needless to say the bank is feeling it at this point haha!

Everything is going well with the pregnancy, I'm almost 17 weeks now and will have the big morphology/anatomy scan at 19 weeks. We will be finding out the gender then, I've not once felt this baby is a boy but the pregnancy has also been very different to my previous 3 babies.
We haven't told anyone about the pregnancy yet and I'm not really showing, at this stage I just look like I ate to much at Christmas �� I'm quite shocked because I thought I would show more being that it's my 4th baby.

I'm not feeling baby move much as yet either, I'm fairly certain I have a anterior placenta so that would explain the minimal movement.
I've had 2 antenatal appointments so far and have been given the green light to have a VBA2C ( vaginal birth after 2 csections).

I hope you are all doing very well, Babs I'm sorry to hear about your GD. I'll keep my finger crossed that the tech was wrong.
I sympathise with you as I already have mini panic attacks over the thought of being told boy and it hasn't even happened yet!

I feel disconnected from the baby, I'm struggling to bond and I'm unsure why. It concerns me but I'm not sure how to mention it to the midwives because I don't want to be judged.

[Rainbow16]

Ps, my due date is the 6th of July however baby will likely come in June

[BabsNMK]

Rainbow I think you have to bring it up. I suffered from depression with #1...before I ever had GD and it lasted my entire pregnancy. There are studies that show the effects of depression on the fetus and its not good. Not connecting with your baby is a huge sign. I'm actually feeling a big hit from the GD this time and have decided to call a counselor despite not wanting to spend the $$. It's more than just not bonding with baby, the chemical imbalance can really do a number on your unborn child. So don't feel like they will judge you. This is common and they will get you to whatever help you may need.

[GirlieCat]

Hi Rainbow, glad to hear from you. I don't feel a huge connection with baby either (and I told my doc) but unlike Babs is describing, it isn't because of depression or anything remotely related to that. I think for me the lack of connection is because I am so small and I just don't feel pregnant most days. I am a lot like you in that we haven't told people and my very small bump is super easy to hide so I just don't feel like anything is different. I seriously forget I am pregnant half the time.

I am about 2 weeks ahead of you so I have started to feel baby and that is slowly helping because I now have a reminder that she is in there. I think some of it comes down to personality too because I am not the type to get really excited about things and I am not very emotional. For me I need to see something and feel something to form a connection- I can't connect just on an idea or thought (and really that is all baby is until you can feel or see it). I think seeing her again on my next ultrasound is going to help and maybe as I start to feel her really kick instead of just the fluttery feelings that I feel now. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't be devastated if something happened to her, it just doesn't feel real yet so there is not much to connect with and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I hope that seeing your little one and finding out the gender will help for you too.

[BabsNMK]

Ahh that's a good point Girlie. If you just aren't feeling connected because you don't feel pregnant, then that's a totally different story. If you aren't feeling connected because emotionally there's something off, ask for help. You won't be judged.

[Rainbow16]

I definitely don't feel depressed at all, I have suffered depression and anxiety in the past and have worked through that. I'm in a much better place then I have been in years! Thank you for your concern tho, it means a lot

Girlie, that's exactly how I feel!
It's not at all that I'm unhappy about the baby or that I wouldn't be devastated if something were to happen, it's more that there's no physiological connection. This pregnancy is so so different from my other 3 full term pregnancies. I felt them move early, I had morning sickness, I was showing by 12-14 weeks.
This time round I had slight nausea until 10 weeks, I have practically no bump I look no different and no one has noticed anything at the kids school etc, I haven't felt baby move etc. I just don't feel pregnant, like I know there is a baby there and I'm excited to expand our family.
I can't wait to start feeling those kicks, that's my absolute favourite part of pregnancy, I think the lack of movement from baby makes me forget he/she is there.

[bre_cooper11]

Hey ladies,
First, congrats on your little girl Mummy!!!
I'm sorry I've been MIA too! It's been so crazy with everything going on - holidays, school, work... just crazy!
Anyways, I am about 19wks today, I think. We finally announced on Sunday, my oldest son's birthday! My son was so super excited and the pictures were super cute.

In pregnancy news, I had my Quad screen drawn a few weeks ago and received the call that it was positive for risk Trisomy 18. Baby is 1:49 risk ratio for Trisomy 18. I am being referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine. They're getting me in on Thursday for an US and if warranted an amniocentesis. I am hoping they entered my dates in wrong or something. Dh's older brother died when he was 6mons old from a heart defect and very well could have been a T18 baby.
I am trying not to worry, I am aware that the Quad screen results have many false positives. I just can't believe this. How wanted this little man is, how we finally have found peace with our family and how crushed my son will be {whole family of course}. I just am the 'what if' person and 'prepare for the worst'.
Thanks for reading ��