Is this a BFP? Need extra strong eyes!!

[coocoobananas]

I'm ok I guess. I am between denial and shock now. I took the test last night and got the guts up to do it after a drink. I thought I was going to feel like an idiot for even thinking I was possibly pregnant. The 1st line came up and I sighed in relief, I went to wipe and I peeked over at it and I said (and I quote) f***, f***, f***. I feel like I'm 16 and pregnant, like I should no better but how did this happen? In 14 years of marriage we have never used pull out, ever. Until last month. I don't know why we did, just laziness as we've been using condoms. I feel like I am in the twilight zone. 4 boys??? This was NOT part of the plan!!
I am trying to think of the positives, but I have cried a lot
I do feel it was meant to be as seriously that was a Mary moment, what are the freakin chances? I'm 37 for goodness sake! It should be harder for me to get pregnant even if I was trying! It took me 4 years to get pregnant the first time!!
Suddenly though I feel closure. This is it for me, no more. I was almost to that point with my 3 but there would always the 'would if?' But I am 100% sure this last boy will be my last baby and I'm fine with that!
I can't believe I will have 4 kids, most likely 4 boys!!!! Agggghhhhhhhhhh

[Rosie85]

Coocoo this baby is totally meant to be! I totally understand your feelings. I had the same reaction with my first as I was on birth control and thought NO way am I pregnant but I had been 2 weeks late at that point. I cried like a freakin baby...for weeks.

As the weeks go by I am sure you will feel better and better about the entire situation. We are all super excited for you! And it could very well be your baby girl!

[NCBeachyGrl]

I ditto Rosie who said it so lovely!

It is so crazy when you are TTC and get BFN and BFN and start to think that there is no such thing as a positive. Then, like you, I took a test on a whim and it was immediatly white. I sighed a huge sigh of relief, set it on the counter and went on about my day. Later that night, I happened to pick it up and look at it, and sure enough there was a faint line. I thought no freakin way. Impossible!!! Took another one the next AM and that was my post here!

DH is still having a hard time with it. He doesn't think I can handle 4...sometime I wonder myself! I keep telling myself the older 2 aren't babies and it won't be so bad, but I have my doubts! I am also dreading telling everyone. I can only hear the comments now and that makes me sad!

But obviously, there is some higher plan we have no control over and someday we will look back and be thankful that someone else made this decision for us!

[pebmcpd7]

I ditto Rosie who said it so lovely!

It is so crazy when you are TTC and get BFN and BFN and start to think that there is no such thing as a positive. Then, like you, I took a test on a whim and it was immediatly white. I sighed a huge sigh of relief, set it on the counter and went on about my day. Later that night, I happened to pick it up and look at it, and sure enough there was a faint line. I thought no freakin way. Impossible!!! Took another one the next AM and that was my post here!

DH is still having a hard time with it. He doesn't think I can handle 4...sometime I wonder myself! I keep telling myself the older 2 aren't babies and it won't be so bad, but I have my doubts! I am also dreading telling everyone. I can only hear the comments now and that makes me sad!

But obviously, there is some higher plan we have no control over and someday we will look back and be thankful that someone else made this decision for us!

There will not be a bother on ya!!! Big families are great!!

[NCBeachyGrl]

peb - you are so my hero! I just don't know how you do it!!!

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

If it makes any of you feel better, I'd have number 6 if I could!!! You're all great mom's and these babies are lucky to have you. Congrats to you Coocoo. You guys are giving me a reason to come back and check in more often. October is going to be a busy month. And again, my dd was born in October.

[coocoobananas]

No tellin' on Facebook 3 lol!
I'm scared!!! Did you always know you were going to have lots? I never thought I'd have 4 kids!! Ever! My husband is ever the optimist so he is excited, that helps I'm hoping I'll be able to give my boys a little sister but I'm not counting in it whatsoever! I could never have made this decision on my own so in that way I'm glad I won't have to wonder... But I'd still rather have things the way they were. I'm sure it will grow on me but I'm so terrified of how sick I'll be
I wish I could just enjoy pregnancy once, would make this a lot easier to accept.

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I never thought I'd have this many kids...and my facebook lips are sealed. lol

It's good to have an optimistic dh. Mine isn't...unfortunately. And I know what you mean about enjoying pregnancy. I've spent so much time wishing a baby was a certain gender, I didn't "really" enjoy the fact that I was pregnant. The anxiety hoping I didn't miscarry...and then the u/s...and then the sadness and anger after the u/s...and then coming to grips with what the baby's sex is...and then still being sad here and there until the baby arrives. It sucks...for me anyway. And throwing up for 9 straight months...forgot to mention that. hahaha

I went to a good friends dd's 1st birthday yesterday. I saw my dd trying to help her take steps...she's just starting to walk a bit. And my heart broke. WHY!!!! I'm happy with what I have, yet want more. I feel selfish. And angry at my dh for not wanting more kids. The feeling keeps coming and going. I started going to the gym a few weeks ago to focus on myself for a bit. Wow...this has turned into my own little rant. Sorry.

Maybe you won't get too sick this time. And you'll be able to enjoy this. I really hope you have a little girl in there. I remember how tough it was for you finding out with ds3. He is incredibly handsome btw!!!! These next 9 months will pass quickly. And we're here for you!!!

[NCBeachyGrl]

I only wanted 2 kids but here I am going on #4! Whenever I start to freak out about it, I think how fun things are going to be. my BFF is 1 of 4 kids and her house was always so fun. There was alwYs something going on, somebody to hang out with, and I always wished I had that. Now, I can give my kids that and it means so much to me!

[Rosie85]

I have always just gone by the fact that people have never regretted having more kids but they do sometimes regret not having more. Once they are here it is as if they were always meant to be. I find comfort in that thought.

Even though I have always wanted a lot of kids i sometimes wonder if we are doing the right thing by having more because we are low income...at least for now. We got a late start in college and while we both have our degrees I have never used mine and hubs is entry level still. I will eventually go to work and we will have two incomes but it's a ways off.

I just try to remind myself that money only goes so far in raising kids anyhow... they are as expensive and as restricting of your lifestyle as you want them to be. No big families can not afford expensive trips but they can go on road trips and make a ton of memories that way. No they can't afford lavish toys and such but they have each other. I think to the future and how our holidays will be filled with lots of people and love and oh it just warms my heart. Those trips and those toys are not permanent, they are fleeting. Sibling bonds and the memories you make together as a family, those are forever and worth the sacrifice of everything else in the end.