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  1. #71
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    Atomic, thanks for taking the time to explain all of your thoughts on this; I appreciate the level of detail and it is a lot for me to consider. I've actually been reading a book on birth order and another on the nature/nurture influence; trying to get my mind to focus on things other than swaying, but it's funny how both of those topics (especially after reading your post) potentially tie back into swaying.

    The girl family observation is interesting. I didn't come from all girls. My mom came from 3 girls (herself and a set of twins) and they each had a PP. Most of my friends who came from all girl families ended up with a mixed set. I definitely do not think gender runs in families. I honestly think a huge part of it is just chance... I mean really, even if someone is "set" blue or pink 90% they can STILL get that 10% opposite every.single.time.

    Anyhow, there's no way to explain it or reason it or find out why we all have what we do. I love the kids I have, I'll love this one too. But there's no doubt in my mind that I will always be sad DH and I never had a son and that's just something I have to live with now ... even if I understood WHY it wouldn't make the desire go away, KWIM? I'd still want a son and making sense out of why I have daughters won't change that. So it just doesn't matter really ... I think for a while I thought maybe I could figure something out that would make another sway "work" for us, but that's not realistic and I really need to let this go. Which is not easy for me to do, obviously

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I think there must be something with a pecking order in an all girl family where some/all of the girls fall into a pecking order, birth order, or "mom always liked you best", and some form of the MDH comes into play. That's what I mean when I say some of these things that may have affected our dominance/testosterone levels is a result of things that occured during childhood and not anything about our adult personalities, and certainly nothing we have done "wrong" or can control in any way.
    Interestingly enough I was just talking with DH about MDH last night and despite having read nothing about it he theorized that my own dominance stems from being the eldest and having responsibility for my little bro, and also for my cousin (she spent a lot of time with us as kids)

    Begonia that is us too - my husband loves to quote me from years ago as saying 'EVERYTHING is a competition!' (He likes to say this if he is 'beating' me at something innocuous. My Dad refuses to play Scrabble with us because it gets so argumentative. There's no hope for our girl LOL

  3. #73
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    RE girl families - nothing is 100% of course, just an observation from my days back on IG (before I ever even GOT into gender swaying and was only doing gender disappointment) AGain, it's like the physical aspects vs. lifestyle thing...totally possible to have a physical aspect that sways, even if you don't have the lifestyle that seems to contribute to it. I totally agree that gender DOES NOT run in families, but I do think there could be circumstances within families or even in your mom's body when she was pg with you, that could predispose you. I wish I had unlimited resources to do studies, I think we could bust this wide open in a year's time. We know all the right q's to ask now but no one wants to study it.

    Also to state again because I notice I never finished my thought in my earlier reply...the majority of women get embies of both genders via IVF. Plus, that and things like Jon and Kate + Eight and boy-girl twins to begin with, make me totally doubt the theory of egg priming, KWIM??

    Me too on being the oldest and caring for lots of LO's and also on the uber-competitiveness - I actually dislike myself when I play games because I would knock over my grandma to win at a game and I get really mad when I lose for reasons outside of my control. Interestingly, that is one thing that has changed for me the last 2 years since having my last son - a few weeks ago we were playing Wii and I was just doing terribly and I really did not care at all - so I do know it can change all on its own without swaying.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; January 12th, 2012 at 10:21 AM.
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  4. #74
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    AS your comment re: environment of the mother's uterus earlier brought to mind an article I read forever ago. My DD1 is 100% tomboy ... the girl has been into boys things since before she was 2. She would walk into a store and pick out trucks and never bat an eye at princess stuff; wouldn't wear a skirt/dress from the time she was old enough to object. At preschool and kindy she has always chosen to be friends with the boys. I always thought it was fascinating because she didn't have an older brother or some male cousin or anything, it's just been part of who she is. She's not at all gender confused in case anyone was wondering that though; she's completely comfortable with the fact that she is a girl, she just says "I'm a girl who likes boy stuff."

    Anyhow, I had mostly forgotten about this study I read, but it says that "tomboys are born and not made" ... basically, the level of maternal testosterone during pregnancy might influence the gender-role behavior of preschool girls. It's pretty fascinating to me in particular, because I would say that DD1 (who was a BCP-fail baby) was conceived during one of the times in my life that was undoubtedly a very high T time.
    Study Suggests That Tomboys May Be Born, Not Made

  5. #75
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    Sometimes it seems like there are so many elements at play that there is no point in swaying The more I read the more complicated our bodies seem! Talk about a can of worms....I guess all we can do is try to influence the things we know about and hope for the best...

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice View Post
    Sometimes it seems like there are so many elements at play that there is no point in swaying The more I read the more complicated our bodies seem! Talk about a can of worms....I guess all we can do is try to influence the things we know about and hope for the best...
    I know it feels that way sometimes but we DO KNOW that gender swaying is possible and that diet in particular can sway gender quite a bit, with a good deal of reliability. Info, while it can seem contradictory and overwhelming at times, only helps us to figure out the mystery as we eventually begin to put it all together in a framework that makes sense.
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  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by begonia View Post
    AS your comment re: environment of the mother's uterus earlier brought to mind an article I read forever ago. My DD1 is 100% tomboy ... the girl has been into boys things since before she was 2. She would walk into a store and pick out trucks and never bat an eye at princess stuff; wouldn't wear a skirt/dress from the time she was old enough to object. At preschool and kindy she has always chosen to be friends with the boys. I always thought it was fascinating because she didn't have an older brother or some male cousin or anything, it's just been part of who she is. She's not at all gender confused in case anyone was wondering that though; she's completely comfortable with the fact that she is a girl, she just says "I'm a girl who likes boy stuff."

    Anyhow, I had mostly forgotten about this study I read, but it says that "tomboys are born and not made" ... basically, the level of maternal testosterone during pregnancy might influence the gender-role behavior of preschool girls. It's pretty fascinating to me in particular, because I would say that DD1 (who was a BCP-fail baby) was conceived during one of the times in my life that was undoubtedly a very high T time.
    Study Suggests That Tomboys May Be Born, Not Made
    She sounds awesome!

    It is interesting that she was a BCP failure tho because BCP makes very hostile CM (would sway pink) and so it is entirely within reason to me that if you did have higher T levels, if not for the CM you might have conceived a boy in that instance, but due to the CM/BCP, she's "a girl who likes boy stuff!"
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  8. #78
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    I have a boy who should have been a girl - he loves wearing dresses and prefers to play with girls (though he's also mean with a sword or a bow and arrow!). I wonder what that means?!!
    2005 2007 2009 2012

  9. #79
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    Zana, my older boys were exactly like that when they were little (as is my 3 year old now). Painted nails with markers, wore heels and makeup, and always wanted necklaces and bracelets. My personal experience is that a lot of the "gender" stuff comes not from the kids themselves or even from moms and dads, but from OTHER kids - so if they're not around other kids who tell them "that's for girls" or "that's for boys" then they don't really KNOW and just sort of experiment around with what they see their parents do.
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  10. #80
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    Ha ha - believe me he's around an older boy who makes fun of anything girly!! You're right though, he's still very young.
    2005 2007 2009 2012

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