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  1. #21
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    POST 15
    I'm sorry, I needed to update about what happened but I have been putting it off as long as possible!

    For now, we don't know for sure if baby is a boy or girl I thought it looked boy at the ultrasound but the tech wouldn't guess based on the nub shot, though she seemed kind of apologetic about it and her demeanor made me think she thought it was a boy too. I don't have a good nub shot and I'm scared to post anyway because I don't want either false hopes, or the tiny hopes I still have to be totally crushed. For right now, I feel like I have to say 100% boy and celebrate that fact with all my being because I WILL NOT have GD again, I refuse to.

    Anyway, here's what happened. Just to begin with, I have not used bc for 15 years and even though I don't temp or chart, I have always, always been able to predict my ovulation spot on (including during breastfeeding, and during times when I lost a lot of weight) and have never gotten pg except the two times I wanted to during all that time. I know my body very well at this point.

    So as some of you know, we had been trying to get pg for four months prior to March and I was not ovulating due to losing weight while breastfeeding. I began to take vitex in Feb. from AF through O and though the first month it didn't do anything, in the middle of the second month (March), I began to have majorly severe O pains, tons of CM, and my cervix was def. favorable. Checking back to my old posts, it had already been going on for the better part of a week on March 25 and was gone by March 26.

    I didn't particularly want to get pg that month because of Christmastime, we already have a child born in December, and since I have two fire sign children already, I preferred not to have another one, so I wanted to skip the Sagittarius birth sign in favor of Capricorn or Aquarius. (just sheer superstition I know, but it was what I wanted to do.)

    So I thought maybe we should not ttc that month, so I avoided BD during that entire time period. I must admit that I wasn't terribly careful because even though the timing wasn't perfect and I did have a lot of EWCM, I still want to get pg and we are still trying, but I managed to avoid what I believed to be my most fertile time - we DTD on the 18th and the 20th (I had a lot of EWCM on both those days and my husband even commented on it but my cervix didn't feel right so I felt ok taking a chance thinking at the very least I would have a cut off), and then again once during the following weekend, either the 27th, 28th, or 29th (I thought it was on the 29th but I'm just not sure, anyway I thought O had long passed because I had a lot less EWCM, the O pains had stopped for 2 days). I had an orgasm on the 18th but I can't remember if I did on the following weekend, I don't think I did but I'm just not sure, I have no memory of even BDing that day. At some point during all this and I can't remember when exactly, I relaxed a bit on my diet, ate some meat, salt, and breakfast, and even regained a couple of pounds, thinking that I would be gearing up for a great sway the next month, making sure that I would ovulate again the next month and that I would have some extra weight to lose.

    Then, just like clockwork, AF arrived 2 weeks after I thought I ovulated, on April 4. It was a perfectly normal AF just like every other AF I have had since I was 12 years old. I never have very heavy periods, but it wasn't particularly light either, and it lasted for 3 1/2 days just like all my other cycles do. It did not even occur to me to take a pg test because why? But apparently, that was some kind of implantation bleed. I have never had an implantation bleed before and I thought IBs were mostly just spotting anyway.

    So thinking that since I am ovulating, I would ttc this month, I started dieting again and lost 5-6 pounds that month on a low protein, high carb diet, and took vitex for 2 weeks. I didn't have an orgasm for like an entire month prior. I didn't feel any O pains when I expected to, but some months I don't. We wanted to BD frequently through O so we DTD every day except 2 from the weekend before O through the weekend after. During this time, I had two episodes of bleeding, one of which was quite heavy, but I wasn't sure if it was O spotting or bleeding from my cervix because of DTD so much. 9 DPO I noticed my stomach looked bloated and I had been having cramping, so I took a pg test and it was a superdark positive. I was thrilled because I felt so good about my sway that month and the test was so dark that I even let myself dream a little dream about my childhood dream of twins - I started getting morning sickness only a couple of days later so I dreamed that dream a little harder.

  2. #22
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    POST 15 PART 2

    Anyway, fast forward 2 months to my us at what I thought was 9 weeks, my stomach was huge so I still had my fingers crossed for twins. The tech began the us and I was amazed to see one pretty well-developed baby appear on the screen. I was like, "Geez, it looks like a baby already! I was expecting it to be like a chicken or a blob or something." And the tech told me, "I think you're a little further along than you think you are." And I immediately went into shock thinking back on how crappy my sway was that month, how I had had SOOOO much EWCM and ate the wrong foods I'm sure right when I actually Oed, and had an orgasm too, and a billion, trillion times worse, how I had basically starved my baby for the better part of a month and also took 2 weeks of vitex too. Thank God I was taking my prenatal vitamins and lots of folic acid but still I was eating barely any protein and fruits and vegetables during that time period.

    Then as she was moving the wand around, I saw the goods and they are huge. The tech said, "Ummm....I know that really, really looks like boy parts, but sometimes that can go away...you just never know, it might still be a girl." In this voice that told me she thought it was about zero % likelihood of being a girl. Then when I got home I double checked the nub theory just to be sure and the nub is def. pointing up - I know nothing is 100% at 12 weeks but the pics coupled with my horrible sway and all the EWCM I had, I am just convinced it's a boy and I think that's where my head needs to be right now anyway, with the complete and total expectation that Boy #4 is on his way.

    As I look over these dates, it is pretty obvious that I got pg the weekend of March 27-29, this matches the ultrasound dates and also meshes with the timing of the implantation bleed. But how could I have been having O pains, EWCM, and my cervix right, for like a week and a half prior to that date if that's when I O'ed, and then no O pains and EWCM when I actually got pg? It makes no sense!

    So, I feel pretty bummed about the whole thing. Primarily I feel absolutely devastated that I did anything that might have hurt my baby in any way and the entire thing feels so unfair - why in God's name did I have what seemed to be a perfectly normal AF that month? That has never happened before, why would such a thing happen right at the worst possible moment? I would never, ever do anything that I thought could hurt my baby. I just have to wonder if this is going to have repercussions that will last the rest of all of our lives. (ETA - I later found out that what I thought was "AF" was actually me miscarrying my son's twin and that the subsequent bleeding I had was due to the fact that the twin's placenta remained behind and was right on my cervix.)

    If I am being totally honest though, it's more than just that. I do totally know how blessed I am to be where I am with hopefully 4 healthy children and I never, ever forget that, but seriously, what a bizarre chain of events. Even though I am trying really hard not to go there, it has to make a person question if the universe really is out to get them. It's totally not that it's a boy that stings, it's that this was my absolute last chance at a daughter and I pissed it away. And after all the time and effort I put in, to have it all fall apart based on a totally freak accident where my body acted totally differently than it has every other month for 15 years, boggles my mind. I wasted that great sway I felt so positive about the next month, and I can't even use my information to help anyone at all because it happened so long ago that I have not enough accurate memory to even feel out a spreadsheet.

    And the irony is, if I had just gone ahead and tried for reals that month rather than skipping it, I could have BD through O, watched my diet, not had an orgasm, done my best to get rid of the EWCM, done all those little things that then I did do the next month and I could walk away saying, well, I tried my best but it wasn't good enough, I just had too many boy factors and this was meant to be. But no, I am left with the idea that I was being selfish and trying to time things for my own convenience, and it turned around and bit me in the butt.

    In some ways I feel more optimistic than I did because I have remembered a lot more about what happened that month and I know that on March 21 I was still following the diet and still losing weight because that was my nephew's birthday party and I remember what I ate that day. So if I really did conceive on the 27th like I think I probably did that was only 6 days later at the very most, and even though I may have cheated a bit in there, I was still pretty careful about meat, because I was trying to keep my testosterone lower and I think testosterone takes forever to change. And I know I would never have cheated very much at all before O if there was even an outside chance that I might get pg that cycle. Most of the weight I gained would have had to been between when I thought I O'ed and when I got "AF" two weeks later - after I had already conceived - and maybe that little burst of nutrients was enough to sustain him through the next month when I was dieting again.

    I also remember I had some girl factors that month that were actually better than the following month - way less stress than the following month, first PP ovulation, Oed in new moon, infrequent BD, and it may very well have been an O+12 if the egg had released the day before and that's why the O pains stopped.

    I have been thinking about this a lot and I guess I am not upset with the 'why' in the physical sense because I'm 99.99% certain it was the vitex - I think my body was trying to O but couldn't, maybe because I was taking the vitex, and that's why I was in so much pain. Then once I thought I Oed and stopped the vitex, the egg released. But it's the why in the cosmic sense. It just seems so deliberate and cruel somehow, to allow me to go on for another month and have what I felt like was a great sway and then to pull the rug out from under me and then to possibly hurt my baby besides - it's like someone was taunting me or something. If I would have known that I got pg that month I would have been overjoyed even though the timing wasn't exactly perfect, it's just that the next month's sway seemed so, so much better and I could have done right by my little bean...

    But, things in my life that always seem terrible at first always turn out to have some kind of wonderful blessing attached to them, so I'm going to operate under the assumption that is going to happen again in this instance.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; January 18th, 2012 at 11:08 AM.

  3. #23
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    Why, oh, why have I not seen this thread before!?!?! Atomic, as I read this, I kept sending you silent prayers of thanks for sharing all of this with us. I am so thankful for all you have researched, analyzed and then shared with us. You could have easily kept it to yourself, not posted or quit posting but you continue to give freely to all of us. I truely hope that I get my girl not only for me but also as a tribute to you and all you have done for us. And if our caboose is a boy, I will have known I did everything possible at the time to sway for a girl and be thankful for a healthy bub.
    Jen + DH = & ... '08 & '10..........and hopefully 2012
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Suddenly surrounded by angels, we are honored and humbled to be the parents of our twins - 8wks and 16 wks (girl)
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My Ovulation Chart for a R A I N B O W in 2012

  4. #24
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    Thank you!!!

    Oh the one thing I do need to make totally clear (and I thought it was in the post but I see now it wasn't) was that I was ALREADY pregnant when I had what I thought was the big ovulation. I got pg BEFORE my nephew's birthday party. Those pains and cramps I was having was from implantation and not from ovulation. What I thought was an implantation bleed actually was a placenta previa from my twin baby that I ended up losing...I WAS pg with twins but one implanted right on my cervix and we lost him/her, which was actually the source of what I thought was my period. We know this for a fact because the placenta stayed behind and continued to grow throughout my pg.

    The interesting thing to take away from that is that I was checking my pH religiously and it never went above 4.5 until after I was already pregnant. I also didn't have much/any CM that I could tell.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  5. #25
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    I'm so sorry about your , atomic.

    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    The interesting thing to take away from that is that I was checking my pH religiously and it never went above 4.5 until after I was already pregnant. I also didn't have much/any CM that I could tell.
    Yeah...the pH thing has become less and less convincing to me. I'm kinda sold on TW and keeping T low.

    It turns out that I won't get a chance to test your conclusions since I just got a BFP last night from last cycle while we were taking a diet/TTC break. I was sure hitting it hard in the 2ww though. Oh, well...so frustrating and so lucky all at once. I pretty sure he's a boy but he just worked so hard to get to me so he's definitely mine!

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. I know your selfless dedication will result in so much joy and so many DGs on both sides of the aisle. Even if you never get your girl (or another Prince), you will have helped so many of us do so.
    Last edited by Out of the Blue; July 23rd, 2011 at 11:18 AM.
    Jen + DH = & ... '08 & '10..........and hopefully 2012
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Suddenly surrounded by angels, we are honored and humbled to be the parents of our twins - 8wks and 16 wks (girl)
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My Ovulation Chart for a R A I N B O W in 2012

  6. #26
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    Oh wow!!! HUGE congrats but at the same time I'm sorry. DK if you feel this way or not but it felt a lot "worse" to me to not get my sway the way I wanted than it was having my opposite...I felt bad that I didn't even get my shot, if that makes any sense. Plus I felt like I had let everyone down because I hadn't gotten to test the TW hypothesis properly!!

    No matter what, wishing you the very very best for a H and H 9 mos!!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  7. #27
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    Was this before or with your daughter??

  8. #28
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    This was my sway opposite with my 4th son.

    I have my stealth sway that brought me my daughter here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...july-20-a.html
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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