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  1. #1
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    You "can't" carry a baby of that gender!!!

    updated 12-18-17

    You "can't" carry a baby of that gender!

    How many times have we heard THAT one?

    For those of us with a lot of one gender and none of the other (particularly if we've had a miscarriage or two along the way) well-meaning friends and relatives may chime in with that helpful tidbit, implying that for some medical reason, it's actually IMPOSSIBLE for us to conceive or carry to term a child of our desired gender. But how true is it?

    Like many old wives' tales, this actually does have a basis in fact. Some women carry certain genetic diseases, like hemophilia or Duchenne muscular dystrophy, on one of their X chromosomes. Of course, everyone has one X chromosome, but women have two - one we get from our mothers (who also have two X chromosomes, because all women are XX) and the other we get from our dads (who only have one, because all men are XY).

    Your dad's X chromosome HAS to be good because they only have one of them - if your dad had a bad gene on his X chromosome he would have an X-linked disorder and be very ill or even dead! Since women are all XX, it is possible for a woman to inherit a good X from her dad, and a bad one from her mother, because when a woman has one bad X and one good X, the genetic data in the good X takes over and allows her to develop normally. A woman can be walking around perfectly fine carrying an X-linked chromosomal disorder because she has a spare X to fall back on!! However, she'll always carry the bad genetic information on her other X chromosome and can pass that down to future generations.

    Until she has children, she may never even know she carries a defective X chromosome. And if she had all daughters, she still probably would never know, because females get one X from their mother, and one X from their father, so the odds are good that one or the other of these X's will be normal. Some of her daughters will carry the bad X chromosome and some won't, but none of them will develop the disease because they all got at least one good X from their fathers.

    If she has sons, however, then the situation becomes more complicated. Depending on which of their mother's X chromosomes they receive, sons of a woman who carries an X-linked disease can either be perfectly fine (they received a good X from their mom and then their dad's Y chromosome) or they will have the bad X and dad's Y, and suffer from the disease. Because they only HAVE one X, they have nothing to fall back on, and they will get sick. If a woman carries one of these diseases, all her daughters will be perfectly healthy (half will be carriers) and half her sons will be healthy, statistically speaking. 3/4 of her children will not have the disease. It's really the luck of the draw which X your children will receive.

    Technically, girls CAN get these genetic diseases. But in order to do so, they have to have both parents who carry the disease on their X chromosome, and since the disease will manifest itself in their father, if your husband doesn't have any X-linked disease, the odds are pretty much 100% that his X chromosome is sound and even if you are a carrier of one of these diseases, your daughters would never develop them. If he does have an X-linked disease, it's a very mild one. Otherwise he would be visibly sick or dead.

    While Y-linked genetic defects do exist, they are very mild. A form of colorblindness and an excessive amount of hair on the ears are a couple of examples. If Y-linked disorders caused serious disability, men who carried them would be incapable of fathering children and the mutation would not survive to be handed down from generation to generation. The reason why X-linked diseases exist despite being severe is because females are unaffected carriers, so the genetic mutation survives from one generation to the next. Only males who inherit their mother's one bad X chromosome will ever develop the disease.

    Some X-linked diseases are chronic conditions like hemophilia, where a boy can manage the disease their entire life and still have a pretty normal existence. But others cause fetal death in utero or very early on in childhood. If you have a large number of healthy daughters, and have miscarried repeatedly (even if you don't know the gender of the child), you may want to consult with a genetic counselor to rule out the possibility that you carry one of these genetic disorders.

    If you are a carrier, you may see a trend in your extended family of more daughters than sons being born, or mysterious cases where a baby boy was born, had developmental delays that no one could explain and died at a young age. It's not always easy to tell, because doctors really didn't always know why people died even as little as 20 or 30 years ago and so may have attributed deaths to incorrect causes. Some of these diseases are quite rare and doctors often miss them, even still to this day.

    If you see such a pattern in your family (it will be on your mother's side), even if you have only one or two daughters or all sons and have never miscarried, you also may want to consult with a geneticist. Remember that it's sheer luck which of your X chromosomes your children receive, so even if you have 5 sons and they are all healthy, if you carry an X-linked disorder, you could still pass down that gene to your next son.

    Most of these diseases are extremely, extremely rare. It is very unlikely that you are a carrier, even if you have 10 daughters and no sons. And it is impossible that you have a genetic disorder that is keeping you from carrying daughters, even if you have 10 sons and no daughters, because it's NEVER impossible to carry daughters, due to girls having two X chromosomes. So when your neighbor peeks over the garden gate and tells you that you "just can't carry" girls or boys, just ignore him or her. The facts tell a different story.

    Also - please read the second part of this essay "We only/don't make boys!" here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...make-boys.html
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; January 4th, 2018 at 07:01 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Yeah I've convinced myself I can't carry boys. It has to be the reason why every time I sway and get pregnant I miscarry. But no one has ever told me this, it's just something I tell myself. But there's really no family history to support it. Although I never have been tested. I'm not sure it matters at this point, seeing that if this is a 5th girl we aren't trying for a boy anymore anyways.
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  3. #3
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    Lilac- did you sway do you mind me asking? I have 4 girls myself.

    Well my Mum has had: B, G,G,G,G,B,G,B (to 4 different fathers though so kind of hard to compare with me I would say given that variable???)
    My grandma had 2 of each, her Mum had 3 daughters.. her daughters have had mixed of both b and g.
    Fathers Day baby!


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  4. #4
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    Oh and my sister has one of each, and my aunt (mums sis) has G,B,G
    Fathers Day baby!


    Busy Mummy of 5 now working from home: www.oz.scentsy.com.au

  5. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by TTC5 View Post
    Lilac- did you sway do you mind me asking? I have 4 girls myself.

    Well my Mum has had: B, G,G,G,G,B,G,B (to 4 different fathers though so kind of hard to compare with me I would say given that variable???)
    My grandma had 2 of each, her Mum had 3 daughters.. her daughters have had mixed of both b and g.
    No, it's actually easy because it's the X chromosomes that matter and not the Y. It is the mother that matters, not the father. These bad genes are always on the X chromosome because if they are on the Y, men only have the one Y chromosome so if a fatal disease was on that, they would die.

    I strongly suspect that since you do have many boys in the family born to many different relatives (and I'm assuming there is not a family history of boys being born ill and then dying at a very young age) that you are most likely not a carrier of one of these very rare conditions.
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  6. #6
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    My grandmother had one boy first, lost a baby the had 2 daughters. Her children BOY - 1B1G, GIRL - 2G, GIRL - 1G2B

    But all of the Girls born in that generation have had nothing but girls...and m/c. I myself have had 6 losses. I wonder if there is something genetically wrong with our boys if our losses were infact boys???
    Our 6-pack of girlies
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  7. #7
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    I'm sorry PoP but I do think in that case you should see a geneticist to rule out the possibility.

    It is possible to have a healthy boy even with a genetic disorder, it just makes it that much harder.
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  8. #8
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    'And it is impossible if you have 10 sons and no daughters, because it's NEVER impossible to carry daughters, due to girls having two X chromosomes. So when your neighbor peeks over the garden gate and tells you that you "just can't carry" girls or boys, just ignore him or her. The facts tell a different story.'



    Atomic once agan thank you for all the info you share.For years i have been playing this one over and over in my mind that i just cant carry girls. Thank you for the hope! x


    (99) (04) (08) 4 x looking over us all.

    Swayed but blessed with another

    ' There is only room for one Princess in this house'

  9. #9
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    Im always thinking the same! I have 4 girls but lost 8 so maybe I lost all the boys and I can't have a healthy boy??
    One of my grandma also had 4 girls but all her girls had boys and girls too. My other grandma had a boy and a girl .
    +1

  10. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    It is possible flava, but even in women who carry a particular disorder, statistically speaking, half their boys would still be normal. It would have to be a run of really bad luck for all 8 of your losses to be boys and all to have the bad X.

    Most of the time, there is at least some family history of infertility or babies that died young.

    It is the family members on your mom's side that matter, not your dad's side. If your dad had a bad X to give to you, he would either not have survived himself or else would be a carrier of a very serious genetic disorder.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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