A place for those who swayed for a boy but are having or had a GIRL *Support Thread*

Great thread! And so well said, NBP and Skrimpy.

I can't really comment as to having my last and final baby be a girl also....I don't know what I'd feel in that instance. Of course, I know I'd mourn not having a son ever, but hopefully that would be a feeling that would pass sooner than later.

I can say this, though, because of the new situation in which I find myself on this ttc journey: you ladies are BLESSED like crazy to have a baby at all. That may not be what you want to hear, but if I can provide anything to this thread, it is just some perspective when you are faced with not having any more children ever. I know you ladies have been so encouraging and supportive, so much so that it brings tears to my eyes....but the reality is that we may never conceive and have a full-term baby. After much conversation about whether it is fair to our family to take the plunge into HT and have an enormous payment to a financing company each month for 5-7 years, we are not going to do IVF. So, I hope that in saying that I may never experience the sheer joy and amazement of having another child ever again, you gals feel incredibly lucky to have the sweet precious angel that you will have soon enough. I would give ANYTHING to know that I would have another baby, even a girl. In a heartbeat.

But on a different note from the depressing stuff, I totally agree with NBP that parenting, mothering daughters, is what you make it. I am a fairly well-rounded female, I think, and I enjoy girly stuff and boy stuff. I think of my kids as I would hope others think of me: I am who I am, and I hope I am respected for what I enjoy and am talented at and not looked at with any stereotypes. You can encourage your children to try all sorts of things, but in the end, you must respect what they really are into even if it's not your thing. Easier said than done, but the rewards of seeing your kids excel and love something are so worth it. I couldn't care less what my kids do, except that they LOVE IT.

:kiss: I love this thread and think everyone has had such brilliant things to say; I know I'm going to re-read it MANY times because it is full of wisdom. I really, really appreciate everyone taking the time to add their perspective. I know I'm not the only one benefitting from it but I definitely appreciate it.

Skrimpy, I do identify with you re: the mother relationship impacting my perspective, because my own mom was an abusive alcoholic. I feel like I have no model for what a healthy mother/daughter relationship should be. I know what I hope for it to be but I sure wish I had an example to follow, so I am doing my best to provide that for my girls so that one day, hopefully, they won't feel as lost as I do. I feel like I should add that my mom is 10 years sober and a fantastic grandmother, and my girls will never hear a word about her past from me, but it is still pretty impossible for us to repair 20+ years of our past together.

So I know a LOT of my issues are due to that. And the rest, well ... like you said NBP, and others mentioned too ... I will be into what they are into because they're my girls :HH: And if that means I need to learn how to do pigtails and hairbows and watch them cheer at a football game, I'm sure I'll be proud to do it.

And in the dose of perspective category, DD2 had an accident this morning and passed out for a solid minute; people were starting to call 911 before she came to again. It isn't the 1st time it has happened but seeing her like that again, all pale and lifeless ... oh how much I cherish these days with my kids; I'm SO thankful that they are here and they are healthy. I'm trying so hard not to wish them away by fretting about not getting what I wanted. After all that's not the example I want to set for them; being all whiny about things not turning out exactly how you want them to. That's precisely the type of daughter I don't want to have so I'd best not spend my time behaving that way myself.

Although I will say ... watching all the crap my mom did gave me a shining example of what not to do, so ... maybe a few mistakes made by me here and there are good for them :wink:

Oh and NBP I was cracking up about no adult actually wearing a hairbow :rofl: Can you imagine?!?! I might put one in for our next family photo ... it would make for a great Christmas card :)

Begonia -Im so sorry you feel sad. What can I say I have 4 girls. I felt the same with DD3 it was really bad and I did not have a nice support group back on IG like we do here. I don't know if anything we say help you right now but for sure the new baby will help when you hold her.It was a lot easier for me once she was outside.
My girls are not dancing or anything like that but I would not mind if they do .I don't think that boys are so much easy to raise . We can also see bad boys all over the place not just silly girls in the mall!
I hope you feel better soon I know it's not easy!
XXXX

I'm glad you ladies find this thread a good idea, I had a feeling it would bring comfort and support to those who need it xx

OH lord, B, I would have freaked out also! I am glad she is ok! I am telling you, there is NOTHING like putting things into perspective and counting your blessings when you are feeling down about something. I hope my talking about that did not seem trite or anything. I have to do that daily to be ok with what I'm dealing with. Here's the website that makes me REALLY appreciate my blessings, even though I went there because of the losses: www.facesofloss.com. You will cry if you read ANY of these amazingly strong ladies' stories. But this site is here to give hope, which is what I love about it.

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

OH lord, B, I would have freaked out also! I am glad she is ok! I am telling you, there is NOTHING like putting things into perspective and counting your blessings when you are feeling down about something. I hope my talking about that did not seem trite or anything. I have to do that daily to be ok with what I'm dealing with. Here's the website that makes me REALLY appreciate my blessings, even though I went there because of the losses: www.facesofloss.com. You will cry if you read ANY of these amazingly strong ladies' stories. But this site is here to give hope, which is what I love about it.

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Omg, the stories on that website are so so sad I was crying like a baby, literally tears flowing down my face.
Thank you Llove a huge eye opener for me.
I will prey for you to be blessed with another child.

DD1 :ballerina: DD2 :giggle:

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

OH lord, B, I would have freaked out also! I am glad she is ok! I am telling you, there is NOTHING like putting things into perspective and counting your blessings when you are feeling down about something. I hope my talking about that did not seem trite or anything. I have to do that daily to be ok with what I'm dealing with. Here's the website that makes me REALLY appreciate my blessings, even though I went there because of the losses: www.facesofloss.com. You will cry if you read ANY of these amazingly strong ladies' stories. But this site is here to give hope, which is what I love about it.

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Oh gosh how sad, I tried to read her blog but the font was far to difficult to read :(

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Originally Posted by CapricornAquarius

Omg, the stories on that website are so so sad I was crying like a baby, literally tears flowing down my face.
Thank you Llove a huge eye opener for me.
I will prey for you to be blessed with another child.

DD1 :ballerina: DD2 :giggle:

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Yes, when you see what other women go through, having two amazing kids already even though I may not get pg again isn't so bad.... having a 3rd beautiful healthy daughter is not so bad either! These ladies are so tough and have gone through the worst thing ever....I think about sweet Iluv when I read these, and 3P1B, and Princess, some of us have been through it as well. Just helps to remember that a healthy little screamer after 9 months is a blessing, the most immeasurable one possible, no matter what is between the legs.

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Originally Posted by Flava

I don't think that boys are so much easy to raise . We can also see bad boys all over the place not just silly girls in the mall!
I hope you feel better soon I know it's not easy!
XXXX

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Thank you Flava :) I was at a luncheon today and one of the moms there has a 16 year old son ... and WOW. It was NOT going well for her! And when I think about it ... my older brother was MUCH more trouble than I ever was. He still is. So yes ... I think really, either gender is going to have their tough spots.

HUGS BEGONIA! My 13 week nub was not promising- so probably joining this thread. I am happy to get DD a sister. In fact, what I always wanted! But, sad for DH. We will have another- probably 2, but feeling like DD3 and DD4 are a reality too. :)