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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    One more and then I'll await questions on any issue.

    The boy sway rates on here have been heartbreaking and faith-shaking.


    I do not want ANYONE to sway based on our sway stats. As I've said again and again, our stats are barely better than "for entertainment only". The reason you should sway is because it MAKES SENSE. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...hts-stats.html The reason I came up with all this stuff is because the old school sway stuff wasn't working and the science was pointing in a different direction. IT wasn't because I had a bunch of women lab rats hidden in my garage doing this diet and getting a certain result. It was because based on studies and human/mammal biology, it made sense.

    If it makes sense to you based on that, I think that's the way you should sway, stats be damned. If it makes more sense that people only get boys because they drink baking soda juice and eat iceberg lettuce and hamburger (despite the fact that none of us with all boys ever did either of those things) then do that. But the idea that anyone should use the stats on any site over the biology of the human body is a mistake. Because I can tell you, I can eliminate nearly all the sway opposites if I did things the way they do on "the other site" and refuse to post people who didn't sway "properly". We could be sitting at 80% right now because there is always something people didn't do "properly" to single out. Stats on Internet Websites are meaningless, what matters is biological reality and what we are doing with our blue sways, I believe in that with my whole heart and soul. If you doubt it, just go read the "how we got our boys and how we got our girls threads".

    I don't care about being "right", I don't care about money (I make barely anything from blue sways, quite frankly), I do this because I want you guys to get your DG. That is my ONLY motivation is that I want people to get their DG safely and sanely.

    I am going to talk about some things we can maybe tweak in the future, but I really, really do not think this is anything other than bad luck, the fertility factor, and a few people whose husbands smoke a lot.
    Since that was my quote, I want to reiterate here:

    I say that based off of another scientifc reality, since I have a background pre-my career change as an editor days. Studies can be at odds. Until something is verified and validated, it's not a biological fact. That's where the faith shaking comes in, because while there were good results at the get go based on these studies, things started to turn -- and why thestudies are also not fool proof. I love the woman who raises rats on here's experimemts, because it's trying to replicate things on a smaller scale more than once. And while we are, at its core, doing that ourselves here, we're all still a small sample pool based off of other sample pools.

    Now I don't deny the realities. I came on here pregnant with a girl and had a lifestyle (outside of my personality) that linked up to every study used to guide girl sways.

    I think the issue comes to "it's never just one thing" AND the emphasis on maternal condition. You yourself have said it's not just one thing that makes or breaks a sway -- in the case of baby, only the weight gain was the maybe sway mistake, but then there are also so many obese women who get boys.

    Then, re: maternal condition, there are many studies on men and what they conceive, and I don't think that's talked about enough either, which leads to a lot of internalized shame on the moms here and an unrightful feeling that it was all on them to sway. This is in addition to the smoking dads.

    Now going broader: without naming names, but knowing what you know that differs from the publicly posted sways, where were the errors? That could inform this discussion better to know if alot of failed sways WERE all smoking dads, or everyone was actually working out more than they said, etc.

    My own observations off of obsessive reading of blue sways on here: I think the calcium rec might be more mixed than previously thought. I also think old supplement recs like bee pollen and false unicorn root falling to the wayside have correlated with the lower success rates. But, again, a small blue sway pool does make it hard to determine.

    Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

  2. #12
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    I cannot add in personal info for Baby but i can add in mine. And i want to do it to help better the results, but my fear is then being told "well then you shouldnt have tried to have another one because obviously it was this and this and this" So please keep that in mind in responding. I was desperate for a son, and i HAD to try. and i did, truly did, follow everything atomic said to do. if anything i felt bothersome at times because i was always checking with atomic to make sure something was okay. I went off carbs after not ovulating in april, may or june just like she said to and boom i ovulated in july. I did everything she told me to that was within my power to control

    However there are things that were out of my control.

    First here are the facts. I have 2 girls from a previous relationship, their father and the father to my current 2 youngest is not the same and they are not related (believe me i feel i need to mention that for some reason)

    I had my tubes clipped after the birth of my first two, and had it reversed in order to give my new husband his own baby. However i wasnt ovulating anymore after the reversal. my cycle was clock work, 28 days, nice healthy flow lasting 3-4 days. And i still was not ovulating. Wether this is from having my tubes clipped from 2011-2014 is unknown, it could have also been an ADHD med i was on called Vyvanse that had drastically lowered my weight..i started it weighing almost 150 in February and by the time of my reversal in June the med had me weighing 105. When i started TTC that baby i initially refused to go off of the medicine. So it could have very well been the meds i literally NEED that was preventing me from conceiving her.

    Husband and i have gone through fertility treatment together because of needing clomid to ovulate. I know that he was not supposed to relieve himself so the count would be accurate and that can lower a mans count. More miraculously we got his results back and his were actually considered high...this reason this was miraculous is he actually admitted he had released himself just before that appointment. His motility was great/normal and they reported no serious issues as far as morphology. Still to this day im not sure what that means for his spermies on a normal day because if they were high after release is it possible his count is TOO high and can that hinder conception? doesnt high sperm count actually sway boy though?

    It ended up taking clomid to get me to ovulate but then i did the first clomid cycle and there was my sweet and beautiful angela.

    This time i was very determined. I wanted to keep breastfeeding but it did worry me for my blue sway. I was breastfeeding until june, where she actually weaned herself...

    So was it the fact i stopped breastfeeding or the sudden lack of carbs or both that made me finally ovulate on my own without the help of clomid this time? maybe we will never know.

    Regardless there are important notes about me as a person and this 'sway' that need addressed

    I do have something that is going on with me. The only med that has ever come close to working for me for my problems is an ADHD med. They have tried all sorts of anti depressants, and mood stabilizers. none of them worked and actually made me much much worse. I was happy and balanced on Vyvanse (which is why i was selfish and didint want to stop it at first just to get pregnant..however it should be noticed i stopped the vyvanse in december 2014 and conceived angela in January 2015)

    That to me suggests something is wrong with my hormones in general though. Hormonal issues have been proven to sway pink, maybe even heavily pink. Ive had these issues since before i ever even got pregnant the first time so it isnt something brought on by pregnancy.

    My husband was smoking the 'special' tabaco....thats what we'll call it anyhow... when i was swaying blue. I couldnt get him to stop, he really didnt believe in the swaying thing but did some things just to make me happy. He took all the supplements he was supposed to until June and then stopped without me knowing. By the time i figured it out i was already pregnant. I didnt think i had to check a grown mans vitamins you know? shame on me i guess...

    However he always ate everything i ate. He never skipped meals and he was always snacking. he has done this since before i met him! he is a big guy so he needs his 3 meals, and he snacks between each and everyone of them. Seriously. And healthy things like Guacamole, which is derived from Avocados which are considered good for blue! He ate all varieties of eggs..scarmbled, soft boiled, hard boiled, over easy, sunny side up...big meat and big pasta eater. I didnt have to tell him to drink green tea or any of that because he actually already drinks it on his own.

    All of that coupled with the high sperm count i just dont understand how in my situation it could be him. Unless smoking trumps all of those things.

    However i should say, his sex drive is practically non existent. I had to initiate every time. Only one of the attempts was doggy, and the rest were with me on top..but plenty of boys are conceived with girl on top and he is by no means short and small in that area if you know what i mean..so penetration at time of ejaculation was NOT shallow and i assure you if i feel things correctly in that department right at my cervix, every single time regardless of position.


    Here is where things get dicey. I NEED the medicine to function like a regular adult, but i cant take it when TTC or when breast feeding so i didnt go back on it after angela and i obviously wasnt going to ruin my sway by starting the med...but my energy levels on a normal day are complete shit. There are days i dont wanna get out of bed...i just dont have the energy. And this is not related to depression, this happens on perfectly happy days where i wake up in bliss even..despite the bliss i'll still say "i just dont wanna get out of bed..i am SO tired" I find it hard to complete tasks, i have zero motivation..my memory is trash, i constantly lose EVERYTHING...So when it came to excersise i did the bare minimum. I couldnt force myself to do more. and i was taking naps every day, twice a day, just to have the energy requirements to do the excersise and raise my kids.

    I most likely have an issue absorbing vitamin D (per what 2 dentists told me about my teeth)
    im always bordering anemic even when i am on iron in the form a prenatal for months

    i highly suspect the common denominator in the equation between my first two and my last two is just simply me. Especially as my ex went on and had another girl but then had a boy with his wife. Why is it me? i dont know. the thought is more depressing than humbling. Everything i have said has long been suspect as to the reason i think its me and what that does to my self esteem is crush me. I changed everything about me and my life i could. I couldnt fix the other things. they are part of ME, they are at my core..they have been there for as long as i can remember..probably at least 12 when hormones are supposed to start regulating or somewhere along that age.

    By all means other aspects of my personality would make me a great target for boy mom material. I am very head strong, i speak my mind, i tell it like it is...quite frankly and i dont find any shame in this description many people would label me as a 'b*tch'. I have always been way more boyish than girlie..in to video games and boy colors and activities...i can remember being a little girl and wanting hot wheels and tinkering tool sets that my parents would not buy me because i was a 'girl'.

    Overall i am sure there are things i have posted that will make people say "well thats obviously why you have 4 girls" but the truth of the matter is a part of me still hopes despite all of that...that maybe my sway just failed, period. Maybe its just one of those situations where as atomic said i upped my odds but it just wasnt enough. Maybe i needed more time off the breast feeding, maybe it is something with hubby though by all means he SHOULD make great boy sway material except for maybe his weight...maybe i just needed more time than 4 months on the diet...maybe my half assed attempt at weight lifting and such just wasnt enough

    seriously if someone can figure any of this out, spare me the pain of wondering. I could come to terms knowing it was me or knowing it was him..what makes it harder to deal with is not knowing. there is no acceptance if i dont know.

    ETA: I did use blue friendly timing too, but i technically did with angela as well.. with angela i had sex the first night we got a positive OPK, the next morning, that night, and the next morning and afternoon. This time we were DTD every other day the week of O
    Last edited by Burakoam; October 11th, 2016 at 06:16 PM.

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  4. #13
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    ok just real quick-

    I chose to quote unattributed to allow anyone to bow out of conversation if they so chose to. Not trying to cut anyone out of the conversation (hopefully that was not how it came off.)

    nowhere did I ever say that anyone in particular got an opposite because she gained weight. That's totally coming out of left field to me, I was responding to what XX posted and nothing more than that.

    I have said a MILLION times it is an iceberg and the things we see are miniscule compared to what is below the surface. But I have to advise people on what they CAN do, not focus on the zillion things that are "under the water" if that makes sense. that part is my job. I love to speculate about the rest of it but honestly I think dwelling on that (especially for blue swayers) causes nothing but despair and an attitude of defeat/fatalism that may even sway pink.

    Most husbands will not help. Again, this is something, just like unchangeable iceberg stuff, that is completely out of our control and again, I think we need to focus on what WE can control and not sit around worrying about what our hubbies are bringing to the table. This, again, causes people to feel so defeated and out of control over their universe that it would potentially undermine a blue sway anyway. Since we are the ones swaying, and people are telling me again and again and again (both pink and blue) that their husbands will not help at all, I skew my responses accordingly. I believe strongly it serves no one on here for me to sit around telling you guys all the reasons why it is impossible and focus instead on what we CAN do.

    I am not trying to put you guys off here I'm going to go over the stuff that you're mentioning (short version - yeah, husbands smoking is a huge predictor of sways that are not gonna work out but at the same time, there are enough that do that I certainly cannot predict it down to the person or anyhing - even some of my pink swayers have hubbies that are smoking!!!) but I just did not have any more time today and my husband is actually getting quite annoyed with me LOL.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; October 11th, 2016 at 07:51 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  5. #14
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    You know, guys, please read Burk's post and THIS is why I really, really hate going over these things publicly. I so, so very much prefer to observe silently and then give my guidelines because going over them makes people feel bad about themselves and about their sways and angry at their husbands and circumstances beyond their control. It is not because I"m trying to dodge the issue or mislead, it's because it is impossible to go over it and over it in a dispassionate way without causing hurt feelings amongst the people who are the most vulnerable.

    I just want you all to know that this is forced upon me and not by my choice. I completely believe in our sway tactics and I would LOVE nothing better than for all of you guys to get your desired genders.

    B, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time and emotional energy to go over all that. NO ONE of us has a "perfect" sway and in the end, it comes down to luck and what was meant to be.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  7. #15
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    Atomic you didnt make me feel bad. I think it is in fact my pessimistic defeatist attitude that sways pink. I am pretty hopeless all of the time..nobody has to set me off. i set myself off. I want to shift the blame to my husband not because of you or anyone other than myself hoping its not me because i wanted a son SO badly and i wanted to give that to my husband SO badly that when i put much thought into the fact its very likely ME...its beyond devastating.

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  9. #16
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    anyhow verdict is still out in my desperate denial i happen to have taken the test that has the highest error rate for NIPT's and is actually one of the ones that returned a non pregnant womans result as healthy baby girl as if there was fetal DNA when in fact there couldnt have been...

    I'll be sure to 100% confirm my failure in about 11 days...heh.

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  11. #17
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    Re: swaying one way or the other with defeatist attitude or what not -- what's the logic there?

    Is it based on competition raising T, whereas feeling powerless lowers it? But hasn't the mindset on T lowering changed on here? Haven't you said you're not sure if it even does sway one way or the other?

    And I think the weight thing some of us have cited has come from your general comments on too much weight gain swaying pink. I know there's that whole thread on it somewhere, since I think I'm the last 5 comments lol

    Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

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    Hugs to you all xxx swaying is an emotional rollercoaster, we win some and we loose some. Its the risks we take, in the hope it pays off for our desired Gender. Some babies are just meant to be.

    Its never comes down to one thing like Atomic says - my husband smokes like a chimney and drinks alcohol every night and we have 2 boys together and he has a boy from a previous relationship. He always had a very high sex drive, like as in every second or third day - I couldn't wait for AF to arrive so I could have a break . Now that he is much older (44) is almost doesn't exist, so I have to do the begging now to have sex, since I want a GIRL, hopefully this works in my favour soon.
    2004: 2011

    Dreaming of pink

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  14. #19
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    Atomic- I think you will find this interesting and it would be more interesting if you or anyone else could find more information on if there is a link between women with low dopamine and infertility.. because obviously anything that would make you more infertile would also sway pink. This also reminded me that I had clear nipple discharge (and elevated prolactin) in November of 2014, 2 months before conceiving DD3. I know XX has a friend who suggested clomid for her high prolactin levels... could explain why clomid gave me my daughter when I wasn't getting pregnant otherwise. Also curious to know if a sudden drop in prolactin (the drop I surely had between June and July) was just enough to get me pregnant without clomid but at the same time be too much and interfere with my blue sway..

    BRAIN HORMONE REGULATING FERTILITY IS DISCOVERED - NYTimes.com
    Last edited by Burakoam; October 11th, 2016 at 11:09 PM.

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  16. #20
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    It also makes me wonder though if while on vyvanse and my body was finally "regulated" and my dopamine was doing its job if the reason I didn't actually conceive is because I WAS more prime for a boy but maternal condition not good enough to sustain and create a male pregnancy. Basically my body contradicted itself.

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