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  1. #11
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    Both of my grandmothers have 9 children each (pretty much 50/50). I have an aunt who has all girls and an aunt with all boys. The girls are all back to back with the exception of the youngest. The boys are spaced out.

    My guess, based on my experience with the family is that when the girls come first, there is a sense of urgency to get the boy and be "done". Just about every man wants a son and the woman does get pressured more often than not. They continue to have tries until they get their boy.

    If the boys come first, it is more relaxed. I girl would be welcomed but there's no pressure.

    This may be key. It would be helpful if boy swayers shared a bit of background to connect some dots.

    I can't help but have that sense of urgency in the back of my mind as well and would feel so much more relaxed if my first child in this marriage was a boy.
    Last edited by cosmosis; January 14th, 2017 at 07:21 PM.
    CTNC, FDNIT | Holistic Nutrition & Lifestyle Coach
    DD '07 SDS '14 Hoping for 2017


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  3. #12
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4blue2pink View Post
    atomic have you found that typically the blue sway mums on here have had all their girls close together? where as the pink swayers typically have bigger gaps between their boys?
    its funny, as a pink swayer i really do feel in the minority with my close spacing, yet the blue swayers seem to by and large be on the same page as me where that is concerned. i almost feel i belong with them abit more in a way dont get me wrong the pink swayers have been nothing but kind and supportive to me <3 its just i feel i relate to the blue swayers more in some ways.. even though im swaying in the opposite direction to them!! xx
    Ok there is this concept that I call "an important minority" where (just like with guys smoking, and couples taking a long time to TTC) there's not a majority of blue swayers, but a pretty big chunk of them. A big enough chunk to be noticeable. there is certainly a set of boy moms who have a closer spacing, and boy moms whose husbands smoke, and boy moms who took longer on average to get pregnant, and girl moms for whom all the opposite things are true, but if I set the two groups side by side, even tho we have far fewer blue swayers, they would swamp the boy moms in those things.

    Works the other way too, with recovery from eating disorders and a certain type of control freaky personality being an important minority of pink swayers, but there are a few blue swayers in there too. not many, but a few. (and usually their blue sways succeed too!)

    Now, this is hard for people to see sometimes because not only are many of my blue swayers Custom Plan people who never even venture out into the forums and so you guys never talk to or even know about them, but also because OF the exceptions. There are, like I said, some boy moms with a closer spacing/husbands smoking/take longer to get pregnant, and girl moms who didn't, and so it's easy to think "well so and so doesn't fit this" but with so few blue swayers comparatively to the pink swayers, and yet these things I see come up again and again, it catches my eye. What we're trying to do here is solve the riddle and to do that, we have to look at the trends and what is really going on with people.

    I am always on the lookout for REAL WORLD reasons why some people have mostly boys and others have mostly girls. Because the idea that it's coming down to cranberries and baking soda, when no one ever did that until 20 years ago, it makes no sense. If swaying works, and I believe that it does or I wouldn't waste my time, it has to make sense in the real world. With things that people do accidentally or deliberately that makes some people have 6 girls in a row and others have 6 boys in a row at a rate which exceeds random chance - because that much, at the least, has been proven, some families do have more boys or girls than is statistically expected. If the answer is something that does not happen in the real world, like 10 day cutoffs or egg whites up the wazzoo, it's really unlikely that is why people who have never heard of swaying get boys or girls. So things like child spacing catch my eye because that is something that may be easy enough to stumble your way into by accident (because you can't get pregnant until your cycle comes back) or on purpose (people who want a certain child spacing) and just seems something very much worthy of an investigation.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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  5. #13
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    Cosmo I wholeheartedly agree!
    I have a lot of pressure from my DH's father and grandfather to have a boy otherwise the "family name" dies with DH. 'Old school thinkers'.
    There are a lot of family heirlooms that get passed down to the first born son etc. and I keep hearing "who will we pass blah thing down to?".
    Sure they love our DD but he isn't the "boy". They have such a proud Scottish family heritage with a coat of arms and all that jazz.
    So apart from my endo growing back, I feel pressure to produce a son to keep the family going. I actually feel like I disappointed my DH's family which sounds awful.
    I feel the same as cosmo that I would be so much more relaxed and wouldn't care if the next was a boy or girl if I got my boy first.
    DD Feb 2016
    DS Dec 2017 Thank you atomic and gender dreaming. My sway worked!

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  7. #14
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    For me I do love my kids close in age but mostly it's a time thing I'll be 30 in Aug and don't want to be pregnant after 30. Also my son is begging for a brother and my dh doesn't have a bio son. My dh has always thought of my son as his own however the bio dad keeps telling our 5 yr old that dh isn't his dad and blah blah blah even tho he was never around until end of last yr. I want dh to have that special bond a father and son have and someone to idolize him like my son does his bio dad (which hopefully he grows out of cuz his bio dad isn't a good person. Lives off his poor mom)
    Course now I'm kinda a bummed reading this. I didn't know close spacing sways pink but I guess it makes sense. First 2 girls 18mos apart 3Rd was my boy youngest was 4 when I got pregnant with him. Course I got pregnant with my 4th when he was 2 and a half and had a girl. Lost number 5 to mmc but concieved her when ydd was 9mos. Got pregnant 4moms after loss to have our now ydd. And we decided to try this month and she is 8 and a half months old. I've only ever worried that I'd die during delivery from having kids to close which is why I try to get closer to a yr. But I guess if jm not pregnant this month, maybe we will wait until next winter to try again (heard cold sways boy)
    Course there was a cyst found in my uterus last week ( a small one) and I'm super scared of that now. Idk if it matters but I'm adhd and that might also be why I try soon. I'm more of an act now kind of person. I pray if I am pregnant everything goes ok and that cyst is nothing, and if I'm not pregnant that dh will still want to try again in 6 months
    Dd12 dd 10 dd6 ds5 dd2 dd8mos
    Ttca brother for our boy

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  9. #15
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    That's another thing, I'm afraid if we don't try now dh will change his mind
    Dd12 dd 10 dd6 ds5 dd2 dd8mos
    Ttca brother for our boy

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  11. #16
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    I would like to however throw in there though that I do have a friend who spaces her children 18mos to 2 years apart and she has 6 girls and just last yr had her first boy. (They don't try for certain genders and will continue having kids until they can't ) and my husbands ex who he had our 3r dd with has all boys except her all from 4 different dad's (dh is one of 5 guys to one of her five kids) her first 2 are close in age kinda and both boys, then the girl and that was like when her youngest was 4 or 5 and then when dd was 3 she got pregnant with her 3rd boy and when he was 3mo old she fell pregnant again with her 4th boy. Mind u she was also doing drugs and smoking and her kids dad's smoked. I think my dh just makes girls prolly.
    Dd12 dd 10 dd6 ds5 dd2 dd8mos
    Ttca brother for our boy

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  13. #17
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    This month I actually ovulated during full moon so let's see if that old wives tale works
    Otherwise like I said I think maybe we will start trying next Nov if not pregnant already
    Dd12 dd 10 dd6 ds5 dd2 dd8mos
    Ttca brother for our boy

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  15. #18
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    If I can bump in...
    I'm in a loss support group on fb with only women who experienced a loss during or at pregnancy. We all want a baby as soon as possible after our loss so there's very little time between our 2 pregnancies. For what I noticed, the average on getting pregnant is about 3-4 months after the loss (some faster, some later). And it's true, from what I see there are more women who are pregnant with girls now. On the other hand, there was a question once if the gender of the baby after the loss was the same. 10 women answered and 8 women had the same gender. Idk anymore if there were more women who answered that question or not. So that's the lifesty I guess.
    But in general, it seems more women of our group get girls...
    Mom of angel Liv (stillborn at 30w on 06/25/2016)

    TTC rainbow baby
    Failed sway, due September 2017

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  17. #19
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Please don't be bummed, N, it is something that we can still sway and give you a good chance of a boy. It's not a set in stone thing, but these trends, when I see them, I have to investigate.

    That is some of what I'm wondering about. Being an act now kind of person, wanting to be done with babies and onto other things, worrying about your health but still going ahead with it, etc, vs. being (like the way I tended to approach it) was very methodical, very much "there is this one right way to do this and I am going to do that because of whatever reason". It's just intriguing to me because I do think there are some personality differences and being a boy mom myself for the most part, it is harder for me to understand.

    I know that with my daughter, I had some very big worries about my health/age but did go for it anyway - and I had historically not conceived for 13 years between DS 2 and 3 because I was so worried about my health!! So clearly something was different in my mindset, between skipping 13 years of my primo childbearing years because of health anxiety vs. going for it at 42 years old!!

    Thank you very much for sounding off, it's very helpful to me.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; June 29th, 2018 at 12:48 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  18. #20
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    I'm not a blue swayer but found this post very interesting. My boys are 30 months apart. With both I had a strong sense of urgency for who knows what reason. I did not want them very close in age (and they are not) but I felt time was of the essence. In my mind I have an imaginary clock I'm always chasing down and with my first I had just turned 30 and knew I wanted a baby st 30. Crazy. My second I wanted to conceive exactly when they would be two years apart. It actually took us about 5 months to get pregnant but I was stressed the entire time that it was taking too long. It wasn't because of my age this time, it was just a sense that they had to be two years.

    For my sway/current pregnancy I finally gave up with the timeline. I honestly thought it would take months to get pregnant so I was shocked it didn't. And I don't care. I originally wanted to get in before I turned 35 so I wouldn't be advanced maternal age, but it just didn't seem to matter anymore when we finally decided to try. I don't know what this is...could definitely be another boy but that remains to be seen at this point.
    2013 & 2015 & 2017 (Sway opposite)
    HT for 2019

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