Feeling hopeless..

[myurkanin817]

This is what I wrote out to atomic. I just needed to vent. Hopefully I can make someone else feel better or at least you girls going through this know you aren't alone.
I've been stuck in such a rut lately with everything. I'm even crying while I type this. I really don't think this is going to work for me. I can't do this diet. I did perfect in April. Then when we started fighting in May I did okay but had about a week & a half of mess ups. Now June is here (& this was suppost to be our first attempt) & I hang out with my mom two-three times a week & she loves to eat just like I do. I try to watch what I'm doing but she loves Mexican food just like me & I can't walk out of there without devouring chips & salsa. I keep trying these new foods like veggie burgers bc I miss my meat & they suck!!! Hubby's family is just so unbearable anymore with bothering us & I'm so stressed out. Everyone in my family knows what I'm doing with swaying & they all think it's crap & lies it just makes me so mad. I just want to get this over with & press a button and make me have a girl. I even thought about going to a doctor to try to get put on some kind of meds to relax me or calm me down.. But I don't think they're allowed while being pregnant. I just helped my brother move this past weekend so for two whole days I had only two meals but it was eggs & hash browns or chicken & shrimp. I do not devour things like that bc I can help myself. It's Mexican food. I swear my family (even hubby sometimes) does this on purpose bc they wanna see me mess up. I'm so disgusted anymore I don't think it's going to work or me. The only thing I've done great with is the two meals per day & I've stayed away from all meat (except white chicken occasionally when it's in my totals). I'm feeling so blah the past month & I know it's messing me up big time with my sway. We've been both taking our vitamins though & all. Now hubby wants to go to the fair... And u know what kind of food they have at fairs!! I'm never going to walk past a pierogi stand and not get anything. I really wish his family would just leave us alone... It's putting a strain on our marriage even. I even contemplated leaving him or even put off ttc for a few months until everything is figured out. I have an entire nursery room filled with baby girl stuff. I'll post pics. You're going to think I belong in a nut house lol. Anyways... I'm gonna let u go... Thanks for letting me vent!!

[nuthinbutpink]

TTC a baby should be joyful and fun. This is your first baby. I get that you want a girl but this is a very fun, new and special time. You could ruin it with all of this stress and if you are contemplating leaving your husband less than a year into marriage, you may want to back off the idea of having kids for a bit and take a break from all of this. Life is short. Enjoy it while you can!

[Kidandcatmommy]

So sorry you feel bad! Did you guys just get married in August? The first year of marriage is so hard at least I thought so anyway! And that was without the pressure of ttc. Can you maybe stick with the diet as much as you can but increase your exercise? The exercise might help chill you out, too. It sucks that your family is being annoying. Maybe just tell them that sure swaying might not work but if you can shift your odds a little but why not and don't say it like you are wanting their blessing or anything just be real confident and chill about it and maybe they will shut up about it.

[myurkanin817]

Thanks. His family is just so overbearing & mine is very laid back. We have to drop what we're doing for them or they puck on me for it bc my hubby always did listen to them until we got married. It drives me up a freaking wall!!!! We have a great marriage but his family can't stand me & it's really hurting us. Maybe I will raise my exercise a bit.im very overweight but lost 13 pounds on LE diet. It does fluctuate when I eat LE compared to regular food but for the most part I've been losing. Hubby's family is waaaaaay more of a problem than my family. I can ignore my family & not talk to them. Hubby was always close with his family and they assume it's me putting a damper on their seemingly perfect family. I just want to be pregnant already and be happy....

[6bluewant1pink]

Hugs I feel the same way as you! I wish there was a girl button we could all push! It does feel unfair. I'm thinking about talking to my doctor and getting on meds for my depression. I just want you to know you're not alone big hugs.
I hope you get your baby girl someday.

[SamS_TTCPink]

Sending you a big hug!! I know how it is to have interfering families put a strain on your marriage. DH and I have been together since school and had DS1 when we were 18 and both our families tried to destroy everything. Even now, they hate seeing that we're still together and his family hate me cause "I stole their son and ruined his life by trapping him with the kids". We've had ups and downs and so many fights and even separated for a little while all because of our families (who also HATE each other) but 17yrs later, 9yrs being married and 6 kids, were still together and don't let our families get between us (often&#128521.

It's not easy but you will get to a point when you decide that they'll never change and you can't control that but you can work together and control how you react and how much you let it get to you.

And all that on top of TTC must be putting so much stress on you.

Take some time out for you and maybe take a break from TTC and focus on you and your DH.

Thinking of you xx

[stephk]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Families can be so annoying sometimes and the added stress of TTC doesnt help. I also wish we could just a push a button to be done with TTC - Im over the GD now!

As everyone else has kindly commented on your family situation and shared their experience, perhaps I can chime in on the eating. I dont think chips and salsa is a mess up. At all. Its not like you ate beef enchiladas and chips, you just ate chips and salsa. It sounds like you enjoy mexican food - what about cooking veggie fajitas (I have made veggie fajitas with butternut squash, onions, peppers, courgettes and babycorn and they were lovely! I have even made chicken fajitas for my DH and snuck in a tiny amount of chicken into my veggie fajita because a little bit really wont do any harm!) veggie enchiladas too - yum! Instead of buying veggie burgers because you miss meat and expect it to taste like meat, look for different recipies or adapt what you used to enjoy to be more veggie friendly. My DH wont do the diet or miss out on meat, he will tolerate 2-3 vegetarian dinners a week but thats about it, and he snacks on fruit juice, full fat milk, cheese, packs of ham, crisps etc in between meals. So when I am cooking for both of us I will have the same thing without the meat. So for example:
- Sweet potatoes with broccoli and cauliflower cheese for me and I add a chicken breast to this for DH
- Pasta with loads of veggies and garlic bread for me and I add whatever meat for him
- Stuffed peppers for me and I add meat for him.
You get the idea.

I have spent lots of time looking for veggie recipies and inspiration over the last few months because I love food too and I do the diet the way I do it because this is the way I can. You can also find a way to do it that works for you but it will take time. I am lucky that I am not bothered about meat, it sounds like you are, can you give yourself one or two days to eat meat a week? You say you hang out with your mum 2-3 times a week. These times can be your cheat days. I am only fully LE/veggie monday to thursday then weekends I relax. If I want meat, I will eat it. To be honest if I wanted meat on a wednesday night I would have it if I really wanted to!

Vegetarian | Old El Paso

here are some mexican veggie recipies for you. Not sure what the fat or protein content is as I havent checked them out but hopefully it will help with some ideas for you.

[myurkanin817]

Thank you all so much. I think I was so emotional yesterday bc I didn't realize AF was coking today lol. I appreciate everything so much. I really don't have anyone to talk to. I'm not a people person so dont have any friends. I just want a girl so bad and expected I could do the diet perfect & then I'd have my girl. I didn't realize how hard it can be to miss something as dumb as chicken!!! I'm kind of an all or nothing girl and I always was... So I think that's why I'm so upset the past few days. I was thin my whole life until I went on the depo shot at 19 & I became a balloon! I do my best to pick restaurants with nutrition info.. Like tgi Fridays. I get the jack Daniels chicken & shrimp & a coke & that's it for the whole day. We'll go for dinner 6-7pm & it'll fill me up & I'm good til the next day. Hubby's family verbally attacked me last year a week before our wedding and tried to stop the wedding this way. I've done nothing to these people.. Nothing at all. I've been nothing but nice to them.. Cooking, buying presents for his nieces and nephews birthdays. Holidays with them, except this past thanksgiving & Christmas. They throw fits bc of anything we do. His sister always has a Christmas Eve dinner so we went over there and wanted to exchange presents since my brother and his wife had a baby & IG would be her first Christmas & they live almost two hours away from all of his. So we spent Christmas Eve with his entire family over his sisters til after 10pm. We'll his whole family was angry at us bc we didn't go over his mom and dads on Christmas. We were too busy with my family & my nieces first Christmas. We spent til after 10pm Christmas Eve with them!!!! They want a daughter in law who doesn't have a family or doesn't talk to hers bc they need hubby to be with someone who drops everything for them! I'm not that kind of person. I never felt welcomed into the family or even welcome at their home! Grrrr... I can't stand it!!!!! anyways,. I will look at the website you gave stephk, thank you so very much!!!!! I think I'm getting frustrated bc I wanted it all to be perfect. No onions, garlic, celery, meat, full fat dairy... I was doing the whole nine yards 98% of the time. Now I'm just nervous bc it's getting closer to ttc and if I start including things like that to make it easier maybe ill mess the sway up.

[stephk]

I personally think striving for perfection in that way is more harmful than allowing occasional garlic/onion/celery/whatever. All those things you list I have cut down on massively but still have occasionally (except full fat dairy which I have daily).

His family sound rather unreasonable - no wonder you're stressed. Hope it gets better x

[Kidandcatmommy]

Yeah bear in mind Atomic always says stressing over stuff and being all "Martha" about it makes your sway less girl. So I say eat some garlic, drink some wine and ignore his family! Lol! Don't worry about it being all perfect. In the end there are no guarantees anyway.