I thought I had a good sway....but I thought wrong

[Coffepot]

I know sways aren't guarantees, but I feel like I put my all into this sway.

When I got preggo with DS1....
I was 116 pounds (at 5'1). I dropped to 93 pounds this time
I did cardio and weights. This time...I spent every naptime doing 1 hour of cardio for 6 months 6-7 times a week
I snacked ALL.THE.TIME and always combined protein and carbs. This time I gave up meat for over a year
I ate breakfast by 7AM This time, I never ate before noon
I took prenatals 3 months in advance No prenatals, just folic acid
This time, hubby took OLE everyday for 4 months.
Hubby cut back on red meat.
We DTD once.
i put fiber in all my water and beverages
I drank Evian and Diet coke the 2 weeks before our attempt
I ate LE for so long. I'm talking unsalted matzo with strawberries and strawberry jelly as meal 1 and rice with a frozen veggie with a handful of black beans sprinkled with cheese for meal #2. No salting anything. no eating out. I even avoided swimming this summer in our pool because I didn't know if the chlorine would make me alkaline down there. I wore an ion bracelet, used lavender soap , put a wooden spoon under my bed and prayed so hard tears would fall from my face.

I got the call yesterday (from the genetic testing/panorama) and I still haven't even told my husband that this LO is a boy. All those theories (HB, skull, Chinese gender prediction, etc.) were wrong too. THey just aren't predictors. LO HB was 179, very round skull and anterior placenta placement. I'm pretty upset but promise to add my results to the stats when I can. I feel like I failed and should have done something more.....

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm so sorry. That's one determined little boy.

[XXforhubby]

Oh, don't beat yourself up! It sounds like you did everything that you could do, and you gave it your best shot! I know you may want to blame yourself or your sway, but I believe that this little man was meant to be a part of your family. I know it doesn't take the GD away, that will take time, but soon you will not be able to imagine life without him! Go ahead and allow yourself to feel your feelings of disappointment now, so you can be stronger and there for your LO when he arrives. My heart goes out to you! Know that you really did give it your all!


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[True Blue]

You did have a good sway in fact it sounds like you had a great sway!!
I know your disappointment, I've been there but I also know your little boy will light up your world. The disappointment won't last forever and at least you know you gave it 110% - your little boy was determined to be part of your family

[Coffepot]

Thank you girls for knowing the right words to say. I am nervous to tell hubby because I just don't think he understands gender disappointment. I just can't seem to get over the fact that I'll never have a girl to have a relationship with....like my mom and I do. No one to shop with, get manicures with, prom dress shop with, wedding plan and be there for her when she has kids. I have an older brother and I just wanted that relationship for my son. I wanted to teach him how to treat women by treating his sister well. I love that we can be honest here....it's all the things you want to say to friends and family-but can't and shouldn't.

[nuthinbutpink]

I don't want to undermine your GD at all. I understand what you are saying.

I have 3 daughters. I can tell you there are no guarantees with the manicures, shopping and pink. Not all girls like that stuff. You can't choose family- what I mean is you can't force our sons to like sports and our daughters to wear pink and want to go shopping everyday. You can choose your friends though!

I have great friends that we get manicures, go to spas and shop. I can choose the people that I want to spend time with to do that stuff and we may not be blood related but we still have a damn good time.

Regarding the wedding stuff, raise your sons to choose a type of woman that values family and will want you present. Teach them to choose a bride that understands that you are in his life and you are an active participant. I love my mother in law. I was happy to include her in all aspects of planning that DAY. It is just a day and now quite a distant memory. It's just a day. You still get to shop for a dress! Take your future daughter in law with you!! Show you value her opinion and she will in turn value yours.

You have something that I never will- brothers. Life long buddies potentially. My son will not have that. It's a true gift.

[EmileeJane]

I'm so sorry Coffeepot. That sway sounds like you really gave it your all! I have 2 sons and it was really hard for me to accept at first. We are currently TTC #3 and I am really trying to prep myself for a 3rd boy. I must say though once my 2nd started showing his personality both my DH and I were/are SO in love. He has really helped my GD. Sometimes I feel alright with all boys. Mine are both different and that makes it easier.
I know that all doesn't help at the moment. I do feel for you. You can always vent to us! Good luck telling DH. It really does sound like your little boy wanted to be a part of your family. Feel better. Xoxo!

[missxo143]

So sorrthat you didnt hear the results you wanted to, I hope that you have a happy, healthy pregnancy and that this little boy brings soo much joy into your life. Your sway was awesome and again i am sorry :/

[atomic sagebrush]

I"m sorry it didn't go your way. Sometimes even the best sways produce opposites and it was NOTHING you did or didn't do.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't want to undermine your GD at all. I understand what you are saying.

I have 3 daughters. I can tell you there are no guarantees with the manicures, shopping and pink. Not all girls like that stuff. You can't choose family- what I mean is you can't force our sons to like sports and our daughters to wear pink and want to go shopping everyday. You can choose your friends though!

I have great friends that we get manicures, go to spas and shop. I can choose the people that I want to spend time with to do that stuff and we may not be blood related but we still have a damn good time.

Regarding the wedding stuff, raise your sons to choose a type of woman that values family and will want you present. Teach them to choose a bride that understands that you are in his life and you are an active participant. I love my mother in law. I was happy to include her in all aspects of planning that DAY. It is just a day and now quite a distant memory. It's just a day. You still get to shop for a dress! Take your future daughter in law with you!! Show you value her opinion and she will in turn value yours.

You have something that I never will- brothers. Life long buddies potentially. My son will not have that. It's a true gift.

I have never had a manicure with my mother (or anyone LOL) in my life. My MIL is my best friend ever and my mom wasn't even AT my wedding. ANd my adult sons and I have tons of stuff in common and hang out and chat on the phone for hours at a time (really. I'm not lying, and no, it's not sick or weird in any way, either ) I agree with what nuthin says, it's not trying to diminish your GD in any way, just that a lot of the fears that we have about GD really aren't based in anything other than societal expectations about what a mother-son relationship is/will be.