New and confused!

[plasticserenity]

First of all I want to say that this site is amazing – there is so much info here that it has blown me away! Unfortunately it’s so much information that I have had a bit of an overload and have gotten pretty confused so I would love some advice!

I am aged 29 and based in the UK, my partner is 41. We plan on TTC around June time this year, and really would like a girl. It will be my first baby, but we have my partner’s 3 wonderful sons from his previous marriage living with us. We have agreed that we only have room for 1 more family member to make it complete, and would both LOVE to balance out the boys with some pink . So basically, we have one shot to get it right!

I plan on making some changes to ensure that by June my body is in the best possible state for conceiving, and hopefully a girl. I will list the changes I plan to make, all based on the info that I have read here, and I would REALLY appreciate if I could have some feedback on if I have got the right idea, or missed anything!

I currently have the Mirena coil but have booked to get it removed in 2 weeks. I want a couple of months for my body to get back to normal and for me to figure out how it works before we try – I’ve been on BC since I was 16 so I really have no idea what’s ‘normal’ for me!

1) I’m currently 138lbs at 5’6” (BMI of 22) and would like to lose some weight. I’m not sure what the ideal BMI is TTC girl but it’s lower than 22, right? Should I aim for <20?

2) I will be skipping breakfast (I prefer to do this anyway, so no big change there!). I’ve read to eat around 1500 calories per day, consisting of 40-50g protein and 30-60g fat. Is that the gist of the LE diet? Is there an ideal limit for carbs or veg? If it’s this simple, hopefully just logging with MFP will be sufficient (I’m unfortunately a pretty experienced dieter so no problems there!). I will probably try and go almost vegetarian as I am not a big meat eater anyway, is this a good plan?

3) I also read that a LOT of exercise sways pink. Should my goal be 60 mins every day? If I go about this half-heartedly (say, 30 mins, 4 times a week) is it more likely to sway boy? 60 mins a day sounds daunting with working full time but I’m prepared to have a go!

4) I am happy enough to start the diet straight away (we’re planning on dieting anyway as we’ve both gained a few pounds) but I am wondering when is best to start hardcore exercising? Should I start now and try and keep up that level for the next 3 months+, until conception?

5) What I am most confused about is WHAT to eat. Does it matter as long as I am within the values I said above? I’ve heard a lot about pH and eating the right food to create an acidic environment. I read in some places that lots of dairy is good for pink, but I’ve also read that this sways blue! I’ve read that Calcium and Magnesium supplements can sway pink, but then I’ve also read that nutrients sway blue. If it sounds like I am very confused, I am!

6) I plan on taking folic acid, and I was wondering about taking a supplement with 800mg Calcium, 300mg Magnesium, 10 micrograms vitamin D and 10 micrograms Zinc. But I’m not sure if this is a good idea for pink, could anyone advise?

7) Is there anything else I should add to my diet that is particularly helpful to sway pink? Anything I should particularly avoid?

8) Caffeine – yay or nay (or does it matter at all)? I currently drink about 4 cups of coffee (or tea) with milk each day.

9) I’ve read that trying just once, 3 to 4 days before O is best – have I got that right? And I’ve read missionary, no happy face for me, and hop to the loo straight after?

10) Lastly I’m not sure what to advise for my partner – I’ve heard about tight underwear and hot baths (all fine by him!) but is it better that he releases every day (as I have read in some places) or abstains for 7 days beforehand (as I have read in other places!)? Is there anything he should be eating, or supplements he should be taking?

Apologies for so many questions, I just feel a tad overwhelmed with all the (very good) information on here. I’d hate to think that I tried really hard to sway pink but accidentally did the things that sway blue – I’d rather do nothing at all and leave it up to luck than to sway the wrong way .

Thank you in advance for any advice on offer – this seems like an amazing community and I really appreciate anyone taking the time to help me out <3

[foxtrotmama]

Not an expert, just a fellow swayer answering to the best of my knowledge.

1. I will have to leave this to someone who knows more.

2. No limit for carbs and vegetables, other than the diet limits. Most vegetables don't count towards your limits at all. Vegetarian is a good idea, it seems to sway pink on it's own and it's nearly impossible not to go over on your totals when you eat meat.

3. 60 minutes 5-6 times a week seems to be best, not split up. Maybe Atomic can say more, but I don't think there's an easy way to say what less would do. If you're building muscle, that's probably going to sway blue, which is the problem with the 30 minutes 3 x a week type patterns.

4. Honestly don't know. I found the problem with keeping it up was injury over time. I would do great for eight weeks and then miss a few. I think I would have had better results if I had just stuck to brisk walking or lower impact activities (like swimming or cycling), but you are probably in better shape than me.

5. This sounds like you're caught between "our" way and "their" way. Most of us have thrown out pH and mineral based stuff (doesn't work, doesn't make a lot of sense biologically, lots of opposites). So no calc/mag and no constant testing pH and stuff. Dairy, within the limits of the diet, is fine. But when you're drinking gallons and gallons of milk, you're getting a lot of nutrients and annecdotally I remember seeing quite a few opposites from people doing that.

6. Folic acid is neccesary for anyone who is TTC. I don't believe the calc/mag helps, and I don't think zinc is recommended until you have been on the diet for months on end. Personally I think vitamin D supplementation sways heavily blue.

7. Look into alcohol and fiber supplements (taken with meals, especially those containing fats and fat solluble nutrients), and decide if they are right for you?

8. We've been using coffee as a sway tactic. Full caff. Tea seems to sway blue, I would avoid it.

9. One attempt sways pink, but trying for a cut off can be stressful and significantly cuts the odds of conception. A lot of us are doing one attempt at the first positive OPK. "Jump & dump" seems to sway a bit, but also cuts odds of conception. If you're not conceiving, you should drop J&D before adding attempts.

10. I don't think that the frequency patterns have been shown to help much (every day, abstaining, etc). I do know that older DHs absolutely shouldn't abstain. There are some supplements that are sometimes recommended for DH but I'm not sure which are or aren't impacted by age so I will leave that one for someone who knows more.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome!

My recommendation would be to leave the Mirena in until the month you're planning to TTC. We have had good results with conceiving girls that first month or two off the Mirena and there is NO benefit to swaying to "tracking cycles".

BMI - I have people stop losing and try to hold steady at BMI 21. That gives you a cushion in case a small amount of weight sneaks off over time. 18.5 is the absolute minimum, I don't want anyone to go below that because O can stop.

2)Yes, that's the gist, although I'd have you start off more like 1800 cals and see how it goes. If weight flies off you'll need to adjust cal intake upwards since you're on the thin side already.

Do be sure you're not counting low carb vegetables in your cal, protein, or fat intake (they are free and unlimited) and fruit or higher carb veg like potato and corn, in your protein and fat intake (count just cals on those, not pro and fat) This allows you to actually eat even more than you realize.

Most go veg most of the time although you can sneak in some cheats here and there.

3)Yes, 60 min. of cardio a day we believe sways pink. If you can't get that much in, the length seems to outweigh the number of days, so if you can get to 60 min. 4 days a week that seems to work too. Would not recommend 30 min or less than 4 days a week tho

4)Plan for diet 3 months prior to planned month of TTC. I'd have you go vegetarian right away and higher cals until you're closer in. Exercise we're not sure, at least 6 weeks but keep cals higher when you start to prevent excess weight loss

5)On THIS site with LE Diet all foods are ok. The "acid alkaline" diet stuff has been debunked, I can link you if you would like. RE dairy - we believe based on the latest scientific evidence that it is NOT mineral levels that sway, but nutrient intake as a whole and so drinking tons of dairy = tons of nutrients and should be avoided (ok to indulge but keep in limits) and this holds up with my observations on one of the other sites where the biggest dairy indulgers got tons of opposites (myself included)

Many of us on here got opposites on Cal-mag so it's easy for us to give up on them. I got my last two boys taking them and my girl without them. But if you believe in them, it's ok to try (your choice) provided you are NOT doing the tons and tons of dairy and NO Vit. D alongside them unless you have proven deficiency.

6)I'd try to find without the Vit. D and zinc unless you're deficient in them.

7)In the Dream Members section I have a thread where I rate a bunch of foods from A-D. There are no forbidden foods for pink.

8)We have found coffee to sway strongly pink. On the "old school" sites they say to avoid, but it's been debunked even using their science - research proved 100% it does not "cause calcium to leach from your body). You should drink coffee instead of tea as we do not know if it's really caff that sways or something in the coffee and we've seen quite a lot of boys conceived with tea drinkers.

9) Most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. It doesn't work and a 4 day cutoff, you may as well just leave your Mirena in because it lowers odds of conception by so much. If you must do a cutoff, it's up to you, make it 2-3 days instead of 4 days. And if you want to TTC that month coming off the Mirena, you can use a fertility monitor and have your attempt the day of second "HIGH" fertility - but be aware sometimes you can get many days of high or go right to peak after only one or zero highs.

10)At 41, your husband should avoid the tighty whitey and hot baths. No abstain for him either. You can try FR if you want, he may not be able to keep up with it, in which case just have him release on his own or with you, with a condom, every 2-4 days.

I don't feel comfy giving advice on supps without a custom plan and his medical info. No licorice root, that's for sure. I'd not give him cal-mag supplements either as they may increase risks of heart disease. Some ladies give their hubbies soy milk or foods, but not if he has any sperm health issues or thyroid disease

[atomic sagebrush]

Also yes yes I'd have you take folic acid or folate supps!

[plasticserenity]

Oh my goodness, thank you both SO much for taking the time to write such detailed responses, it means a lot.

I will make sure to digest all of this information, but I'm pleased to see that I wasn't miles off with my plans! You have both definitely eased some of my confusion. I hope you don't mind if I have a few follow up questions to add?

1) I'm closer to the right BMI than I thought, that's great I might try to lose down to 21 BMI before we start trying, then I still have a decent buffer zone to lose more if it takes a few months to get lucky?

2) Thank you both for your comments, you've clarified the diet wonderfully for me. I will aim for vegetarian but I'm sure there will be some occasions where I cheat slightly - as long as I make sure I don't go mental on protein, I guess that's okay? So low carb veg (like typical greens) are fine to eat loads of, and just watch my calories with potatoes etc? I think I can manage that.

3) With regard to exercise - it's good to know that it's the length of time that matters more (I wouldn't have guessed!) but I'm wondering as what everyone considers 'enough' cardio. Foxtrotmama I'm afraid you assume too much about my fitness I do enjoy swimming and the dogs get a (relatively) brisk walk every day, but do I need to do something more heart-pounding and sweaty (such as running, eek)? Or will I get the same benefits from more gentle exercise?

5) Thank you SO much for this one. You're both right in that I was getting mixed up with various sources of information out there. I'm more than happy with the answer you've given, you've clarified it beautifully.

7) I see alcohol mentioned - is that good for pink sway? Is this because it's 'empty calories' as such, or is there more to it?

8) I'm SO happy to see you say that coffee sways pink (I would even have settled for 'makes no difference'). I will make sure not to keep having plenty, I won't mind dropping tea

9) I apologise but I am a little bit confused by the answers to this one. I'm not sure what "2-3-4 or more timing opposites" means. And I'm guessing OPK is to do with an ovulation testing result? What I THINK I understand - I should do the one attempt whenever a testing kit says that I am fertile, rather than do any timing or attempt a fancy cut off time?

Also thank you so much about the suggestion to leave the Mirena in a while longer - I never would have thought it could make a difference to swaying! But if people have had more girls in the first month or two then I see no reason not to give it a try - I will rearrange my appointment for a little later in the year.

10) So we're basically saying he should release as much as he is able to? I suspect this news will make him happy I knew him being slightly older could make a difference but I didn't know it would affect things quite so much! I will make sure he avoids all the things I mentioned.

Thank you again for all your help, you've no idea how helpful this is. I would have been lost and you guys have made it a lot clearer!

[foxtrotmama]

1. Again, atomic would know better. As long as you don't feel like you're losing weight too fast with the diet and exercise. It would suck to put the work into diet and exercise only to drop lower than planned and stop ovulating and have to gain weight back and risk swaying blue.

3. Anything that increases your heartrate. Brisk walking should be fine.

7. Alcohol intake seems to sway pink. Atomic talks about it a bit HERE.

9. By 2-3-4 opposites Atomic means that she and other swayers have conceived 2 or 3 or 4 boys using what should be "girl" timing. OPK= ovulation predictor kit, or ovulation test. One attempt when the OPK shows you are having an LH surge seems to work just as well as a cutoff but with better odds of conception.

[plasticserenity]

Thank you again Foxtrotmama! Your answers have been so useful.

That thread you linked was very interesting; it's amazing how much research and data-gathering the folks on this site have done to help us all out. I plan to spend a lot more time browsing here and soaking it all up, feels like there is so much I can learn.

[atomic sagebrush]

1)ok

2)Exactly!

3)It's because after about 45 min. in or so, your body stops burning carbs and starts burning stores of fat as fuel. Something about this sways pink for reasons we can only guess. Re how hard to push - walking is fine and we've had good results with it. You don't need to be doing Olympic level intensity, but at the same time probably meandering at the mall is not going to help you much. Dog walking is fine

7)Something about alcohol does seem to sway pink and we have the results to prove it! Getting great results for us.

9) I am saying that most of the people on here have 2-4 children that are timing opposites. We can assure you that it doesn't work because many of us did nothing else to sway (for at least some of them) except timing and got opposites. I personally have 3 of 4 boys conceived with cutoffs (and who knows with my last one, have no idea he was a sneak attack) and then my daughter I got in boy timing. It just doesn't work and so I urge everyone who is willing to at the least, NOT do the very long 4-5 day cutoffs that prevent pregnancy.

Since we do seem to find that one attempt is swaying hugely, it's best to have that one attempt at a point in time with good odds of conception - 1 day before O or positive OPK if you don't care about timing, 2 days before O, 3 absolute max, if you do want timing.

10) not necessarily, if he can release daily for 7-10 days before your attempt, great, if not, you could do regular release every 2-4 days or even just let him "do what he does".

[plasticserenity]

Thank you again atomic! I've been reading through so many of your informative threads over the past few days and everything is becoming so much clearer, I'm just excited to get started now!

Been a few days on my new diet and exercise regime and I have to admit I feel great It's amazing how much motivation it gives when I'm doing it for my future baby instead of for me