New Girl Swayer Super Confused

[housewife80]

hello,

my husband and I have a little boy (2) and we are hoping to have a little girl. We will start trying in August. I am super confused about the frequency and timing. I have read the posts/threads and I am lost. We are pretty fertile as we conceived our son following a chemical the next month. Chemical was result of failed pull out. After that, we decided to try and used the CM method to confirm O and DTD that day. We were also DTD every two days or so. How should we (1) monitor ovulation to TTC for a girl. Should I chart, use a kit? And (2) what are the rules around frequency/abstaining. I have seen that people are advocating for one attempt does that mean no sex at all or should he do other things to release/use condoms. I am confused about that part. Thanks!

[Sora]

That would be not releasing often, even on his own, so abstaining for some time I guess... You could use kits that would give you a good view of your cycle and help determine the window for O-day ?

If it helps, DH and I were pretty abstinency and low frenquency cause reasons... When TTC our first child we only DTD around O, once or twice, and not much else. DD1 was conceived with one attempt at O-3.

DD2 was a surprise bundle, conceived at O-day, only one attempt too, after seven months of quasi-abstinency cause breastfeeding DD1. So yeah, I would say low frequency seems to sway pink.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi HW, so glad you found us!

The most important thing is having one attempt in your fertile window. Frequency and timing don't work, but one attempt does. So first thing, set aside the stress over frequency and timing because while you can certainly try them, if they don't work out quite right, it doesn't matter since the one attempt is really the only thing that works anyway.

The CM method doesn't work. It's been tested by scientists and found that only 1 in 3 days can it accurately predict ovulation day and that this is likely random chance...meaning that you can use EWCM consistency to get you close - within 3 days of O - but you can't be sure that any one of those 3 days is O day.

DTD every other day is a good way to get a boy. What I would do instead is have hubby abstain for 7-10 days if he's under 35, if he's over 35 have him do daily release (and this can be on his own or with you, with a condom). Then IN ADDITION to that, you have the one unprotected attempt.

To figure out when you have the attempt I would use OPK. I would not bother with charting unless you're doing it already and are already accustomed to it since that type of "doing a project" kind of stress may sway blue. If you want to use timing (and this has not worked, you can read about that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...le-timing.html) you will want to get the kind of OPK that tells you "high" and "peak" days instead of just "peak". Then you will have your attempt the night of the second "high" reading but be aware that you can get many days of "high" OR go right to "peak" without the "high" readings!

If you're thinking that all sounds very complicated, you're right, and that is why I generally have people have their attempt at the first positive (or "peak") reading on the OPK. This is still a slight cutoff but is better odds of conception and while it isn't a perfect/infallible system, it's much easier than trying for a Shettles cutoff using OPK.

I know this is all very confusing so please just ask till it falls into place. happy to answer all your questions!

[housewife80]

This is unbelievably helpful. He is 36 now and we will try in a couple of months so I will have him do the daily release. I will also plan to use the ovulation kit and aim for second day of high or the first peak. I will get the kits now so I can start seeing how my body is reading in with everything. Any other advice? Thanks so much.

[atomic sagebrush]

No other advice for now but I'm here if you have any more questions!

[housewife80]

Thanks atomic. I am also confused about the diet. I work out almost every day, I generally use weights but have lowered quite a bit and incorporating way more cardio. Are there just a list of things I should definitely not eat and what I should eat. I read no tomatoes, potatoes, bananas and cereal. I read more citrus and dairy. Any other things I should consider?

[atomic sagebrush]

That's really more of the mineral balancing diet - many of us got opposites doing that (myself included) and have a different diet we had success with here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...l-version.html

I have a FAQ here: LE Diet FAQ!!! and here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc...s-edition.html

Foods on their own don't sway, it's the overall nutrient content of your diet as a whole. So don't get hung up on the magic food idea, it just doesn't work that way. There's a lot more info in those links I posted! Let me know if you have any questions...I'm not posting the links because I don't want to reply, it's just that I have so much already written it's just going to be more helpful to you to read them since I cover lots of frequent questions in them.