Help! I think I ruined my sway

[dreamofdaughter]

Your sway sounds very good. I have a hard time believing acupuncture would undermine it that much.

As for intutuon, I think unless you have Zero gender desire, you can't count on intuition. I had a vivid dream of my son the night before before my ultrasound and I was right but I didn't have any GD.

Ask youself, is it intuition talking for is it fear?

Sending you positive thoughts for a healthy baby (girl )

[atomic sagebrush]

Oooh atomic, do you have a link to that bigger study?! I would love to read that since that darn
70% correct intuition study has messed with my mind for so long.


Lilyflower, just for perspective: I did acupuncture for 8 months straight (3-5 times a month at times) and ate breakfast everyday, and I'm still sitting here thinking I won't get my boy. There have been days where I have obsessed over not eating breakfast *soon* enough. Days where I regret not eating 2000 full calories. I've gone back and forth forever that I lifted for YEARS, and right before we conceived I had only just picked it up again. I have reread my posted sway so often that I pretty much have it memorized, including a typo I keep meaning to fix when I'm not on mobile!

GD is a vicious monster who takes over our lives and controls our intuitions and feelings. I think you sound similar to me in that we're highly self critical/analyzing, so sways were always going to be a stressful mess for us. But as I'm sure you can see from obsessively reading sways like me -- luck is still the deciding factor and people get girls eating breakfast everyday or sitting on a couch, just like people get boys despite smoking and running marathons. I have literally had moments where I thought I ruined my sway by doing TOO much because I've seen so many successful sways with less changes -- and I'm a boy swayer, not a girl swayer (the latter of which atomic recommends to loosen up/relax!).

I think it's this one, but it's in a different font than the one I have printed off so LMK if it is not saying the same as what I posted above. https://digitalrepository.auroraheal...&context=jpcrr

[sunstars]

I agree with intuition being right if you don't have gender preference. With my Ds1 i had a very strong intuition of him being a boy, and I didn't care much about gender. With Ds2 i was sure it's a girl, I even bought lots of girl clothes! But I do wanted a girl very much this time. With my third pregnancy I just didn't listen to my intuition, because I didn't trust it anymore, so I didn't even realize I was pregnant with twins until almost 14th week, just the night before the first US I paid close attention to a few of my symptoms and wondered for a second could it be twins. It turned out twin girls, whom I lost in the end.
Anyway, your sway is pretty strong one, good luck!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Atomic,

First of all I just want to say thank you to you and the other ladies on this site who have taken the time to respond to me. It’s truly amazing to have the support of women who really understand what it feels like to long for a certain gender.

I believe that I potentially ruined my sway because of two main reasons:

1) Because I had not had a cycle yet (still nursing a now 20 month old), in June I began doing acupuncture to bring back my cycle, which it did. But I should have known better than to continue because within two months of regular visits, I not only started ovulating again but conceived. While I know that you cannot use acupuncture to necessarily sway either way, it clearly had a dramatic effect on my fertility which theoretically if anything, would sway blue.

2) While I have always been very active with my son, I only began really doing the 5-7 days of an hour of cardio for under five weeks when we conceived. Almost daily prior to that, I would be out for long walks but with frequent stops at the park etc. Once I began the recommended level of cardio, I wholeheartedly committed, one week doing 7 days and the week I ovulated, I had finished 9 days in a row. The other weeks were 5-6 days. I was intent on doing at least 8-12 weeks of cardio prior to ttc but for some reason decided to ttc after jut over 4 weeks. Why I decided to “just go for it” is now beyond me! I’m such a dedicated person and I had the plan all laid out. I guess I figured it would take time to conceive especially doing one attempt but now I’m kicking myself for even trying.

The thing is, I’ve been quietly following this site for over a year, carefully learning what has worked for others and what I felt would work for me. I have no idea why it didn’t occur to me that the acupuncture could potentially enhance my fertility- something I know sways boy! And why I didn’t give myself adequate time to follow my new exercise plan is now haunting me. Of course being so analytical, I wonder a lot of things like could I have had more coffee or eaten even more LE but those are the main reasons I now question myself and feel I swayed blue.

Im trying to remind myself that the universe has a bigger plan for each of us that may not make sense now and that this happened for a reason but I can’t help but blame myself for not fully giving myself the best chance at a girl.

With regards to intuition, I am clinging to the hope that I’m wrong. I did have a feeling my son would be a boy and that feeling has been amplified exponentially this time. I guess we will find out when he or she is born!

Thank you again for all of your time and advice. It is so truly appreciated.

1)we've speculated about that in the past but the REAL reason I'm so down on acupuncture (and I'm down on it for blue swayers too BTW) is that the acupuncturists are super aggressive with pushing herbs onto people and I've had too many people go to acupuncturists to get stuck with tiny needles only to end up walking out with $500 in herbs that will actually make it much harder for them to conceive and sway the opposite diretion from what they want, not to mention that are not safe. So I woudln't worry about the acupuncture. I really, truly, honest to heaven do not believe acupuncture works to boost fertility. The "studies" that claim it does are all done by people who financially profit from the concept.

2)Under 5 weeks of exercise is fine. 5-6 days of cardio is fine. We still get good results with even as little as 4 days a week. This is in no way a dealbreaker.

Assuming that it will take forever to conceive is a pitfall a lot of people fall into. Please don't beat yourself up. If you are pregnant with a boy now, I don't think either the acupuncture or the length of time you spent exercising had anything to do with that.

[Lilawt]

Hi,

Been reading a lot of your posts tonight Lilyflower. I’m fairly new to the site and I see the same names often so just trying to get to know your story.

Intuition is such a funny thing, I mean realistically.. it’s impossible right? How could we ‘know’?

I believe that intuition is like a coping mechanism, a way of convincing yourself of a certain gender to try to lessen the blow when/if you hear the news.

When I was pregnant with DS1 as soon as I saw that faint second line ... I just knew it was a boy. I didn’t have a major preference as I think I’d always like one of each but to have my daughter first would have taken some of the pressure off.

With DS2 I had no instant feeling. As the pregnancy went on I was only getting girl guesses. Friends and family were convinced, even my husband. I tried to fight off their opinions... but I’m only human and I allowed their ‘feelings’ to manifest inside me as hope. Right up until the last moment when the sonographer said ‘it’s a little boy’ I was telling myself it was a boy but really I thought it was a girl.

When I was asked myself I always said I thought it was a boy. Sorry to hijack your post here with my long winded explanation, my point is, for people like us who have experienced GD I really believe that intuition doesn’t even come in to it, it’s our brains trying to protect us from the possible heartbreak. You can not tell gender from intuition.

Like I said... read a few of your posts tonight and I’m thinking of you! I admire you for being team green and I hope it’s your baby girl

Lil


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Lilyflower]

Hi,

Been reading a lot of your posts tonight Lilyflower. I’m fairly new to the site and I see the same names often so just trying to get to know your story.

Intuition is such a funny thing, I mean realistically.. it’s impossible right? How could we ‘know’?

I believe that intuition is like a coping mechanism, a way of convincing yourself of a certain gender to try to lessen the blow when/if you hear the news.

When I was pregnant with DS1 as soon as I saw that faint second line ... I just knew it was a boy. I didn’t have a major preference as I think I’d always like one of each but to have my daughter first would have taken some of the pressure off.

With DS2 I had no instant feeling. As the pregnancy went on I was only getting girl guesses. Friends and family were convinced, even my husband. I tried to fight off their opinions... but I’m only human and I allowed their ‘feelings’ to manifest inside me as hope. Right up until the last moment when the sonographer said ‘it’s a little boy’ I was telling myself it was a boy but really I thought it was a girl.

When I was asked myself I always said I thought it was a boy. Sorry to hijack your post here with my long winded explanation, my point is, for people like us who have experienced GD I really believe that intuition doesn’t even come in to it, it’s our brains trying to protect us from the possible heartbreak. You can not tell gender from intuition.

Like I said... read a few of your posts tonight and I’m thinking of you! I admire you for being team green and I hope it’s your baby girl

Lil


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Lil,

Thank you for your post, I really enjoyed reading it and your point of view

It’s so interesting to me that you knew right away your first would be a boy but yet say intuition doesn’t come into it with GD. That’s my understanding as well - that once you start preferring a certain gender, intuition kind of goes out the window. Isn’t the brain such a funny and intricate thing!?! I like your take on it as being a coping mechanism - makes sense!

I think for me, the team green thing is a no brainer. With DS1, I was desperate to find out as soon as possible but once I did, I was so crushed that I wished I didn’t know. Once my son was born, any anxiety or GD went out the window and I felt bad for wasting so much time worrying about it and being sad. That’s why this time, I wanted to give myself the space to enjoy pregnancy and let it be what it will be since I have the same confidence that once the little bub is out, so much stress will be replaced with love. But as you know by reading my posts, it’s sooo much easier said than done since my intuition has been playing tricks on me by triggering my GD and robbing me of the sense of “not knowing”. But as you say, perhaps it truly is protecting me by really forcing me to prepare for a boy, which is what I’ve been doing. If it will be a girl, I will be so shocked! But you never know!

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to my post and for your kind words, it means a lot

[Blue2]

Hi Lil,

Thank you for your post, I really enjoyed reading it and your point of view

It’s so interesting to me that you knew right away your first would be a boy but yet say intuition doesn’t come into it with GD. That’s my understanding as well - that once you start preferring a certain gender, intuition kind of goes out the window. Isn’t the brain such a funny and intricate thing!?! I like your take on it as being a coping mechanism - makes sense!

I think for me, the team green thing is a no brainer. With DS1, I was desperate to find out as soon as possible but once I did, I was so crushed that I wished I didn’t know. Once my son was born, any anxiety or GD went out the window and I felt bad for wasting so much time worrying about it and being sad. That’s why this time, I wanted to give myself the space to enjoy pregnancy and let it be what it will be since I have the same confidence that once the little bub is out, so much stress will be replaced with love. But as you know by reading my posts, it’s sooo much easier said than done since my intuition has been playing tricks on me by triggering my GD and robbing me of the sense of “not knowing”. But as you say, perhaps it truly is protecting me by really forcing me to prepare for a boy, which is what I’ve been doing. If it will be a girl, I will be so shocked! But you never know!

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to my post and for your kind words, it means a lot

Agree 100% - once you have a gender preference, intuition goes out the window. I wanted a baby boy SO badly for my first, and the minute the doctor handed me the envelope, I raced out to my car in the parking lot, got in, took a deep breath, and before even opening the envelope I felt it - sadness. Wash over me. But before I opened it told myself she would be the most perfect little thing and I would love her more than anything (true and I do, she is my mini)

If I trust my intuition with #2 after ttc/blue sway, it will only be if my intuition is telling me "it's another girl" so I can trigger that mental copying mechanism

...and then *fingers crossed as hard as possible* be totally surprised & over the moon if it turns out to be my boy!!

[Lilyflower]

Agree 100% - once you have a gender preference, intuition goes out the window. I wanted a baby boy SO badly for my first, and the minute the doctor handed me the envelope, I raced out to my car in the parking lot, got in, took a deep breath, and before even opening the envelope I felt it - sadness. Wash over me. But before I opened it told myself she would be the most perfect little thing and I would love her more than anything (true and I do, she is my mini)

If I trust my intuition with #2 after ttc/blue sway, it will only be if my intuition is telling me "it's another girl" so I can trigger that mental copying mechanism

...and then *fingers crossed as hard as possible* be totally surprised & over the moon if it turns out to be my boy!!

Omg that happened to me exactly! We were going to do a gender reveal and once the tech handed me the envelope, my heart sank. I already had a feeling and then in that moment, I knew. So let me ask you - would you not call that intuition?? I think that maybe this time for me, my intuition is for sure skewed based on my past experience and my brain going into defence mode but the whole thing still puzzles me if I really think about it

Wishing you blue dust and I hope you get a nice surprise!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

One time my school was running a contest where the winning ticket was on a can of pop and I KNEW as I pushed the button to buy my pop, that I had won the contest and I did!!

BUT.

A couple times I have had the exact same, out of nowhere certainty that I was going to win other things, raffles and giveaways and such, up to and including buying several lottery tickets once because I was just SO SURE and that one time I really DID win after having that feeling. But then I lost every single time.

Now, maybe that first time I legit had a flash of intuition and then I remembered it and thought I was having it later when I wasn't. Or maybe I NEVER had intuition at all and if I'd not coincidentally happened to win the contest the one time I had the feeling of intuition, I"d have forgotten it totally. Maybe I had had that feeling a hundred other times and it only stuck in my brain the one time it really happened. IDK. All I know is that I"ve had the same sensation several times and it was only true once!

[Lilyflower]

One time my school was running a contest where the winning ticket was on a can of pop and I KNEW as I pushed the button to buy my pop, that I had won the contest and I did!!

BUT.

A couple times I have had the exact same, out of nowhere certainty that I was going to win other things, raffles and giveaways and such, up to and including buying several lottery tickets once because I was just SO SURE and that one time I really DID win after having that feeling.

Now, maybe that first time I legit had a flash of intuition and then I remembered it and thought I was having it later when I wasn't. Or maybe I NEVER had intuition at all and if I'd not coincidentally happened to win the contest the one time I had the feeling of intuition, I"d have forgotten it totally. Maybe I had had that feeling a hundred other times and it only stuck in my brain the one time it really happened. IDK. All I know is that I"ve had the same sensation several times and it was only true once!

The whole concept of intuition is so complicated isn’t it?

I’ve been reading a lot about neuroscience as it relates to intuition and from what I am reading, our brain is like an iceberg, with logical thoughts being at the tip, and everything else like emotions, gut feelings and intuition falling under the surface. Apparently, when we envision or see something - be it real or imagined - and attach a feeling to it, then our brain processes it as fact. And in order to protect us in the future, anytime we experience something similar, our brain draws from the previous (real or imagined) experience and pulls up the same feelings. It’s the same function that triggers the fight flight or freeze response. We have that reaction anytime we perceive a threat, even if that threat is not there but we perceive that it is, we will trigger the stress response either way.

So for gender disappointment, if the first time we have that sinking feeling and end up being right or not, it’s real because we’ve attached the negative feeling to the thought or image. Then especially if it ends up being true and disappointing, the experience becomes etched in our brain and the next pregnancy is processed like the first and we perceive whatever “gut” feeling we have as fact.

The more I think about this theory, the more questions I have but it kind of makes sense to me now why I think I know what I’m having based on the first correct guess (which may have been intuition or a coincidence but it was real to me) because my negative feelings made it real even before I found out I was right.

So complicated! Or simple?