Help! I think I ruined my sway

[Lilyflower]

Hi ladies, I have been following this site for a while and using many of the techniques I have learned here in the hopes of conceiving a baby girl. I have a beautiful son but suffered major GD. The past few months I have been taking only folate, doing cardio 5-6 days per week, no snacking, lots of coffee, and fairly LE friendly diet. I’m also still nursing my son and my DH has been taking olive leaf. This month we did one attempt with J&D about 2-3 days before O. And we got pregnant!

The thing is that because I was still nursing an 18 month old and had not gotten my cycle back, two months ago I started taking Vitex and doing acupuncture. It clearly worked because within two months, I was ovulating and we conceived. My intuition hit me before I found out that I was even pregnant that I’m pregnant... and that it’s a BOY. I feel it in my bones. The night I took the positive test, I had a very vivid dream of the birth of a boy. I’ve never felt so strong about anything and I’ve been extremely stressed and devastated since. It dawned on me that the acupuncture may have swayed because it helped my fertility so much that it went blue.

So my questions to you are:

1) Do you think I ruined my sway??

2) Have any of you experience such STRONG intuition that you were undeniably having a boy only to end up having a girl at the end? I know mom’s gut feelings are usually right so I’m clinging to any hope that I’m wrong

Thank you!

[missiz]

hey Lilyflower, no i dont think you've ruined your sway, it sounds like you managed a great combination of sway tactics to give you a good shot at a girl. I am not sure whether acupuncture sways in any way or not, I dont have experience with that but I do know that alot of ladies on these forums have been CERTAIN they are having one gender, only to find out its the opposite. You still have a very good chance at getting a girl and you've done your best to sway, goodluck with it all

[ksmom]

You didn't ruin your sway. No sway, no matter if it's perfect or not, is a guarantee of one gender over the other. You always have a chance at pink and I think you had a pretty good sway. I've seen tons of women have their intuition be wrong! So many have posted here convinced they're having one gender but end up having the other. I thought DS2 and DS3 were going to be girls and nope, definitely wrong. lol Intuition just isn't a good predictor for gender. Congrats on your pregnancy!

[Throwaway_panther]

Also piping in about the intuition -- this is a personal struggle for me, as well. Intuition can be very easily clouded (my therapist once told me she attended a seminar on this -- that many mental illnesses, like eating disorders, seem to affect a person's intuition). That was fascinating to me, because I think it's very true for myself and I'm sure others. GD, I think, can very easily be a factor in clouding our intuitions.

There are several women on here who were absolutely sure of the gender of their baby, one way or the other, and then surprised. I have a family friend who was so convinced she was having a second boy after her son that she told me, "I remember sitting there on the table as they cut me open and thinking, 'Two boys is ok. I can do two boys.'" She was shocked it was a girl. She then went on to have three more girls!

I relate, though. I have wrestled with this. My intuition on DD for me was correct, but then I first thought my pregnancy currently was boy, then I thought, 'Shit, it's a girl.' Now my intuition is constantly saying one thing or the other. And unless I have surprise b/g twins, who knows what's going on!

[Lilyflower]

Thank you so much for your replies. It is extremely comforting to hear your kind words and advice. As exciting and miraculous as the process is, it is so stressful when there is such a strong yearning for a specific gender. My brain keeps playing tricks on me and I think “what could I have done better or differently”. And I wonder “did I exercise for long enough” “should I have had more coffee” etc.

I hope you are all right about the cases of intuition being wrong (especially with such a strong preference clouding it) because I feel down to my core that I am having a boy and I can find so many reasons to logically support that. The acupuncture for example, or the fact that I couldn’t skip breakfast due to blood sugar issues. I just feel that my gut is trying to prepare me by letting me know now so I can try to come to terms with it. But the only times I feel truly happy is when I’m thinking of girl names or of the labour itself where I find out I’ve been wrong all along. The thing is that with my son, I had a hunch he would be a boy but this time, I feel certain beyond words. I guess we will see, for now I’m going to hold on to hope that I’m wrong..

[atomic sagebrush]

1) I don't know how you would have ruined your sway. Can you please tell me what you think you did wrong?

2)I had a strong intuition I was having a girl and it turned out to be a boy. And I hear from people literally at lesat once a week who swear to me that they just KNOW they are having a boy but then the baby turns out to be a girl. '

Mom's gut feelings are NOT usually right. Most people (60%) have NO intuition either way. In the most recent study, which I have read, women with any intuition correctly called their baby''s gender...51% of the time (sample size of over 1000 people) Women who had "strong" gender preference called it correctly 62% of the time but this sample size only 53 people and when they did a statistical regression on it the number turned out to be statistically insignificant, meaning it could have gone either way from sheer luck, it was in the margin of error. There is one other study that claimed to find 70% correct intuition but this was in only 48 people and this study found intuition to be significantly less reliable in women who had a strong gender preference.

[Lilyflower]

Hi Atomic,

First of all I just want to say thank you to you and the other ladies on this site who have taken the time to respond to me. It’s truly amazing to have the support of women who really understand what it feels like to long for a certain gender.

I believe that I potentially ruined my sway because of two main reasons:

1) Because I had not had a cycle yet (still nursing a now 20 month old), in June I began doing acupuncture to bring back my cycle, which it did. But I should have known better than to continue because within two months of regular visits, I not only started ovulating again but conceived. While I know that you cannot use acupuncture to necessarily sway either way, it clearly had a dramatic effect on my fertility which theoretically if anything, would sway blue.

2) While I have always been very active with my son, I only began really doing the 5-7 days of an hour of cardio for under five weeks when we conceived. Almost daily prior to that, I would be out for long walks but with frequent stops at the park etc. Once I began the recommended level of cardio, I wholeheartedly committed, one week doing 7 days and the week I ovulated, I had finished 9 days in a row. The other weeks were 5-6 days. I was intent on doing at least 8-12 weeks of cardio prior to ttc but for some reason decided to ttc after jut over 4 weeks. Why I decided to “just go for it” is now beyond me! I’m such a dedicated person and I had the plan all laid out. I guess I figured it would take time to conceive especially doing one attempt but now I’m kicking myself for even trying.

The thing is, I’ve been quietly following this site for over a year, carefully learning what has worked for others and what I felt would work for me. I have no idea why it didn’t occur to me that the acupuncture could potentially enhance my fertility- something I know sways boy! And why I didn’t give myself adequate time to follow my new exercise plan is now haunting me. Of course being so analytical, I wonder a lot of things like could I have had more coffee or eaten even more LE but those are the main reasons I now question myself and feel I swayed blue.

Im trying to remind myself that the universe has a bigger plan for each of us that may not make sense now and that this happened for a reason but I can’t help but blame myself for not fully giving myself the best chance at a girl.

With regards to intuition, I am clinging to the hope that I’m wrong. I did have a feeling my son would be a boy and that feeling has been amplified exponentially this time. I guess we will find out when he or she is born!

Thank you again for all of your time and advice. It is so truly appreciated.

[Throwaway_panther]

Oooh atomic, do you have a link to that bigger study?! I would love to read that since that darn
70% correct intuition study has messed with my mind for so long.


Lilyflower, just for perspective: I did acupuncture for 8 months straight (3-5 times a month at times) and ate breakfast everyday, and I'm still sitting here thinking I won't get my boy. There have been days where I have obsessed over not eating breakfast *soon* enough. Days where I regret not eating 2000 full calories. I've gone back and forth forever that I lifted for YEARS, and right before we conceived I had only just picked it up again. I have reread my posted sway so often that I pretty much have it memorized, including a typo I keep meaning to fix when I'm not on mobile!

GD is a vicious monster who takes over our lives and controls our intuitions and feelings. I think you sound similar to me in that we're highly self critical/analyzing, so sways were always going to be a stressful mess for us. But as I'm sure you can see from obsessively reading sways like me -- luck is still the deciding factor and people get girls eating breakfast everyday or sitting on a couch, just like people get boys despite smoking and running marathons. I have literally had moments where I thought I ruined my sway by doing TOO much because I've seen so many successful sways with less changes -- and I'm a boy swayer, not a girl swayer (the latter of which atomic recommends to loosen up/relax!).

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey, can somebody bump this for me for tomorrow??

[Lilyflower]

Bump!