Opk help

[dreamofdaughter]

Hi AS,

I hope you can help me. This is negative opk, right?

I feel like it's these guys where they could be considered the same colour that make me bug-eyed! Lol

Today is our next day if we stick with e4d but I am wondering if we should maybe wait until tomorrow because it looks like I am getting close and if we do today and then in 72 hours, the sperm from tonight's batch may not be around and the next attempt will miss Ov.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks

Attachment 40835

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry I just saw this. Whatever you did was ok, but when doing e4d please just stick to the e4d pattern and don't then do OPK and start worrying about changing the days around. Not only is this control-freak-stressful but also it negates the entire purpose of the e4d, which is introducing an element of randomness in when you have attempts. Many times we "outwit" ourselves by thinking we should have an attempt on a particular cycle day, when in reality it very well may be that we'd be better off having attempt the day before or the day after. If we keep on forever aiming at a day that's not the right day, we'll have a much harder time conceiving, so by introducing the element of chance via the e4d we actually are improving our chances of conceiving!

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks AS. We didn't dtd that night cause I wasn't convinced it was positive. It went obvious positive the next day (second morning urine). We dtd that night but DH could not complete cause he was too tired and I think the meds he is taking are affecting his drive. I know ovulated around 1130/12 that night as I had cramping pains and earlier that evening around 9pm I still had EWCM, I felt aroused and my cervix was still high. So anyway, we went to sleep, I temped at 6am this morning it was already up to 36.55 from 36.28 the day before and I'm very sensitive to progesterone - I always have a quick thermal shift. I'm actually really sensitive to all drugs too so not super surprised my shift is fast. Plus typically my cycle is 16 day LP on 28
Day cycle so that's day 12 ovulation.

Anyway, we dtd at 6am as a futile attempt but I have really no hope it worked this month since it was at least 6/7 hours since Ov then they still have to swim up and capacitate. Super disappointed because last month we did e4d starting day 8, day 11 but they couldn't have lasted until day 14 when I had delayed Ov that month from being sick and we didn't dtd evening of 14 because I was out cold from being sick. That's why I was trying to wait for opk to guard against the same thing happening. I just don't believe the sperm are living in me for that long so I feel like i need to get it pretty close to ovulation.

So now that's two months of bad attempts. I'm disappointed esp because we agree to call it a day when I turn 43 in a few months. So that leaves basically two more tries and then I'll have been on the diet for a full year and I'm so sick of not eating food I want to eat. Especially red meat which I love and crave and I still cook for everyone but me!

Sorry for the vent. Just so upset/sad today. Not even going to bother joining the TWW cause trying after Ov might as well have used a condom imo.

[clarkrl2]

Hi AS,

I hope you can help me. This is negative opk, right?

I feel like it's these guys where they could be considered the same colour that make me bug-eyed! Lol

Today is our next day if we stick with e4d but I am wondering if we should maybe wait until tomorrow because it looks like I am getting close and if we do today and then in 72 hours, the sperm from tonight's batch may not be around and the next attempt will miss Ov.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks

Attachment 40835

Mine never get any darker than that, so it looks positive to me

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks clarkr12!
In hindsight, I should have dtd that night. The next morning it looked like this

Attachment 40841

and was positive right away, I didn't have to wait the 3 minutes! Also my digital didn't go positive with the one I posted on the initial post but the digital went positive with this one. I'm beginning to think digital are not reliable. Anyway, probably would have been fine if DH hadn't felt like muck that night we did it and could have finished. Oh well. Next month hopefully!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, this cannot continue. You have to start having more attempts. I know you don't want to, but this is not going to end up with BFP if you don't start to compromise.

I want you doing e4d WITHOUT worrying about the positive OPK from here on in. And then in addition to that, have another attempt at positive OPK whenever it falls.

[dreamofdaughter]

Yes, this cannot continue. You have to start having more attempts. I know you don't want to, but this is not going to end up with BFP if you don't start to compromise.

I want you doing e4d WITHOUT worrying about the positive OPK from here on in. And then in addition to that, have another attempt at positive OPK whenever it falls.

I agree - I need to change it up. I am wondering though - what about dtd without jump and dump on e4d schedule (without the extra attempt at opk)? We really want to stick with the one attempt given how much I have read on here that the factors are exercise (check), diet (check) and one attempt in fertile window. I just can't bring myself to do two attempts know if that one attempt is so powerful. I am wondering if maybe I just lay down after its a better chance of his sperm having some staying power. It's our last baby so if I don't get my girl I don't have the option to try again.

[atomic sagebrush]

Are you still doing J and D? Drop that.

Ok, atomic tough love alert. You have a few months to get pregnant and given your age it is entirely likely that at least some of those eggs will not be good ones. You no longer have the luxury of doing one attempt. If you go look at our statistics you will see that 2 attempts is right here right now identical to one attempt. I want you guys to start with one attempt, but I have people then go to 2 attempts and you can see that this strategy is getting just as good of results as the one attempt is. I don't ever want anyone to stick with one attempt forever. That is not my intention at all; I want you guys to start with one attempt and then go to two. It's what I tell everyone to do and it's what is getting us the SAME success rate at 1 attempt is.

I get that this is your last baby. But if you don't get pregnant you have zero chance of a girl. Time on diet and the exercise has been just as high as one attempt at its highest (and 2 attempts + longer on diet and with exercise, is def. getting in that same range) and it makes no sense to me to keep on with something that really cuts odds of conception (because what if your timing is even just a little off??? One attempt unless it's at precisely the right time, will prevent pregnancy totally. So we have to introduce that element of randomness to be sure we're not outwitting ourselves here.

There is a huge difference between me wanting people to start off with one attempt, and then slavishly sticking with one attempt when it's time to move on. So when you read "one attempt", well, I'm the one who figured all that out and wrote it again and again, and I'm telling you to add attempts now! So I'm not sure why my words telling you to add attempts are worth less than me writing "one attempt" to everyone generically, LOL. Does that make sense?? With the benefit of 8 years of experience, I am looking at your personal, unique situation and telling you, Dream, to add attempts now. What I"m saying now is way more important than all that other stuff I say to just random people on the site. This is personalized advice for you - both drop J and D and add attempts unless you'd rather walk away with no baby. Because doing J and D and one attempt at 42 with only a couple more months to try...you may as well take a birth control pill.

So while of course it's always your sway your way, my advice is to drop J and D (at least extend it to 15 minutes) and do e4d plus one more attempt at positive OPK.

[dreamofdaughter]

Thank you.

Yes we have been doing j&d after 5 min. When I conceived in August we did j&d and I pretty much got up right away. I didn't wait the full 5 min. This month we didn't do j&d because I knew I had already ovulated and that the sperm making it to the egg was so unlikely anyway. I went back to sleep for 2 hours.

Anyway, thanks again. I think I don't have anymore questions now given e4d plus one attempt would be more straightforward than trying to figure out when then opk turns positive. Next month when I question is it positive, we will just have the attempt instead of spending time staring at the strip.

[atomic sagebrush]

Perfect. please let me know if you need anything.