Support for a stressing momma

[Being MommaBear]

Hello ladies,

Hoping for a bit of encouragement for this stressing momma. I always appreciate browsing these forums because it seems so many of us are feeling the same things.

My DH and I have just started our attempts for baby #2 and very much hoping for a girl. Conceiving our son was so simple - we conceived him in one attempt on our first cycle try, then were on vacation for the "two week wait" so there was no stress in the waiting. We had our first attempt for baby #2 on Christmas day of all things. I had felt "off" the two weeks later, convinced myself I was pregnant when my period was late (which never happens), then my AF started and I had a negative test to confirm. I was sobbing all day. I know it was only our first cycle try, but I felt depressed and ashamed to not have a second pregnancy as quickly as the first. Truthfully, 2018 was one of the most stressful years we've encountered, and we were desperately hoping to start 2019 off with amazingly good news.

Maybe I'm just looking for a virtual hug. I also struggle with anxiety (which I've now read stress helps sway blue, so now I'm stressing about the stress), and I'm trying to view this time of preparing for baby #2 with joy rather than nerves. I also know I need to stay off the internet. I'm 32, almost 33 (my DH is 33). Reading about fertility and seeing other friends popping out baby #3 or #4 at my age makes me feel behind, like I should have had baby #2 a year ago or so at least. I know it's not about comparison - our son came into our lives at the perfect time, and I know it will be the same for #2. But wow, when the mind spirals, it's so hard to stop it.

Thank you for letting me breathe!
-Being Momma Bear

[eerised]

Hug! I tried 1,5 years for my first baby. I know the feeling.
Try not to stress, take a walk do some mindfullness or some yoga.

[Nell_]

I know how you feel, it will happen, i get anxious too don't worry. I see lots of FTM at 40 years old! Big hug you're still so young x

[dreamofdaughter]

Sending you a hug. Try some yoga to relax. You’re very young - nothing to worry about. I got pregnant not trying one attempt at age 38. Lots of women I know have babies in their late 30s early 40s. It’ll be ok.

Best wishes. x

[Being MommaBear]

Thank you so much! I saw your reply first thing this morning, and it definitely made me smile. Thank you for taking the time to send me such an encouraging response.

[Being MommaBear]

Thank you, Big Dreamer! It always helps to find other moms who get anxious, and to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. Thank you for the virtual hug (that made me smile) and taking the time to send me some encouragement!

[atomic sagebrush]

Please don't worry, there is no reason for concern not getting pregnant the first month out.

It takes fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway and everything to get pregnant an average of 3-6 months to fall pregnant. So if you got pregnant more quickly in the past you were lucky but don't count on that being true with future conceptions.

[Being MommaBear]

Thank you, Atomic! I read several of your other threads this morning (as DH and I are going into TTC attempt #2) about not getting discouraged from a few BFN, especially while trying to sway. That really helped me put things into perspective again. I did put a new post this morning with a question, but nutshell here: DH and I BD on my CD10 on a vague positive OPK (cycle decided to be wonky this time), but I got a strong positive OPK this morning for CD13. If we BD tonight, would that be considered a 2nd attempt, or still just 1 for a pink sway? (I wish I had trusted my gut and just waited to BD on CD12.)

[atomic sagebrush]

not really because the CD 10 attempt will be very unlikely to have anything left by the time the egg shows up (which will likely be CD 14 or even 15) the CD 10 attempt will be long gone.

What is a vague positive?

[Being MommaBear]

Thank you for the amazingly quick reply! Sorry for posting this question twice; I wasn't sure which would be quicker. By vague positive- I'm using the First Response opk (and still learning how to read them). I got a faint reference line on CD10 and thought that was good enough for a positive. Last month when I used them, I got nothing until the day I got the solid double positive line. My husband was happy to hear we get to Dtd again!