Trying to find my life path... any advice appreciated 😊

[rayalynn1]

I'm in a similar situation.
I have never swayed, but we have three little boys and didnt want more than 3... now we are planning to sway for #4. I very much would love to have a daughter. So much that it hurts.

As hard as it is to avoid because of the pain and emotions attached to the longing, I just dont want to put myself in a situation where I fixate so much in having a little girl that I loose sight of how wonderful another little boy could be. I want to go into this sway already in love with the idea of a little boy... because to be honest I feel like I only make boys and I dont want to become so wrapped up in the sway process that I'm devastated if it doesnt work. (I probably still will be)

This has been helping me: I have spent time picturing a 4th little boy. I have found a name I love, and I imagine him with his name attached to the image. "My little Joshaua". I picture my other three boys doting on him and him being the baby of our family. I have almost created him as part of the picture of our future. Now I'll sway and if it fails, I'll meet a little boy who I have already pictured and grown to love. I tell my other boys that if mommy has another baby it will be a boy and I get them excited about the potential for another brother. It devastated me in my third pregnancy when my son kept saying he wanted it to be a girl :*(

If it's a girl then everyone will be happily surprised I'm sure. But I go in doubting it will be. Because honestly... it will probably be my precious little boy #4... Gods plan for my life. And that's ok!

Good luck whatever you decide ♡♡♡
I truly believe we are given what were meant to have. And for good reason! (In the opposite way I picture Joshua, I imagine fighting with an unruly teenage daughter who thinks she knows everything and it makes me happy for my passive little boys hahaah)

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[LMSM]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake!
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx

[dreamofdaughter]

Good luck with whatever you choose, kitten. I still hope for one more. I am of a similar mindset that I’m now imagining a boy or a girl. I have a boy and a girl name just for myself (DH won’t like either but this is just for me, for now ).

I agree that you only live once!

[Nell_]

If you could afford pgd can't they use donor eggs if 35+ can understand why you and your dh wouldn't do this for obvious reasons though but maybe an option... will be rooting for you too 😊💕💕

[kittendreams]

I'm in a similar situation.
I have never swayed, but we have three little boys and didnt want more than 3... now we are planning to sway for #4. I very much would love to have a daughter. So much that it hurts.

As hard as it is to avoid because of the pain and emotions attached to the longing, I just dont want to put myself in a situation where I fixate so much in having a little girl that I loose sight of how wonderful another little boy could be. I want to go into this sway already in love with the idea of a little boy... because to be honest I feel like I only make boys and I dont want to become so wrapped up in the sway process that I'm devastated if it doesnt work. (I probably still will be)

This has been helping me: I have spent time picturing a 4th little boy. I have found a name I love, and I imagine him with his name attached to the image. "My little Joshaua". I picture my other three boys doting on him and him being the baby of our family. I have almost created him as part of the picture of our future. Now I'll sway and if it fails, I'll meet a little boy who I have already pictured and grown to love. I tell my other boys that if mommy has another baby it will be a boy and I get them excited about the potential for another brother. It devastated me in my third pregnancy when my son kept saying he wanted it to be a girl :*(

If it's a girl then everyone will be happily surprised I'm sure. But I go in doubting it will be. Because honestly... it will probably be my precious little boy #4... Gods plan for my life. And that's ok!

Good luck whatever you decide ♡♡♡
I truly believe we are given what were meant to have. And for good reason! (In the opposite way I picture Joshua, I imagine fighting with an unruly teenage daughter who thinks she knows everything and it makes me happy for my passive little boys hahaah)

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk

Oh this is great advice Rayalynn thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story.

You know I have already started doing this somewhat- I was thinking of a boys name the other day that would suit my other 3 and thinking about what 4 boys would be like to take camping etc.

I definitely have to go into this realistically I mean I've swayed twice and got opposites both times- something tells me I'm not meant to invest too much into a sway this time.
I have been swaying on and off since early 2015 and I'm just so tired and frazzled with it. The gd added to it is just mentally unhealthy.

I look forward to following your journey here- are you actively ttc yet?

Crossing everything you get your little pink bundle xx

[kittendreams]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake!
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx

Oh I know you have consoled me and guided me so much LMSM you will never know how much it means- I swear you have pulled me from the brink more than a few times haha xx

I agree daydreaming of a 4th boy or girl ( in your case) is healthy- it prepares us and hopefully will cushion the shock if indeed we get our 4 of a kind!
I think too that when I found out boy #3 was joining us it felt so foreign and I couldn't imagine having 3 boys but as you know he's here now and it's so natural he fits right in and I honestly love having 3 boys- it feels special somehow. Soooo if we get a 4th same gender I know it will work out I will get over it and he will fit in perfectly.

Thank you my friend for everything xx

[kittendreams]

Good luck with whatever you choose, kitten. I still hope for one more. I am of a similar mindset that I’m now imagining a boy or a girl. I have a boy and a girl name just for myself (DH won’t like either but this is just for me, for now ).

I agree that you only live once!

Hehe you sound like me- the name I've picked dh said no to last time but I figure I deserve a name I really want! Good luck to you I will follow you and cross everything you get your dd too xx

[kittendreams]

If you could afford pgd can't they use donor eggs if 35+ can understand why you and your dh wouldn't do this for obvious reasons though but maybe an option... will be rooting for you too ������

Oh I wish it were an option but the odds of it working at our age just don't justify the money and travel it entails. I dream about it all the time though!

[kittendreams]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake!
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx

Twin boys!!!!! What a beautiful thought LMSM- now that would really ice the cake!

[rayalynn1]

Oh this is great advice Rayalynn thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story.

You know I have already started doing this somewhat- I was thinking of a boys name the other day that would suit my other 3 and thinking about what 4 boys would be like to take camping etc.

I definitely have to go into this realistically I mean I've swayed twice and got opposites both times- something tells me I'm not meant to invest too much into a sway this time.
I have been swaying on and off since early 2015 and I'm just so tired and frazzled with it. The gd added to it is just mentally unhealthy.

I look forward to following your journey here- are you actively ttc yet?

Crossing everything you get your little pink bundle xx

Kitten I just ordered my stay plan so we wont be trying for another three months once my body is ready.

I'll be excited to walk this journey together if you guys give it a go!!

Praying for healthy babies for all of us!!

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