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  1. #1
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    Frequency and timing for men over 40

    So, my hubby is 41! Our son was conceived by three attempts around the ovulation two and half years ago! So, my husband wasn’t too young by then either. I am so desperate for a girl I am trying everything, taking all supplements to increase acidity and nearly the diet as well. I am underweight so hoping that would sway girl too. I’m gonna use Refresh to lower my ph too. The question is should my hubby abstain or fr for 7 days! We did protected bd on Sunday and my ovulation will be next Tuesday or Wednesday so if we don’t bd again then I go with 2 day cut off that gives us 8, 9 days of abstain! Or if you suggest doing the frequency then we can start from today! Also, I’ve read about compress frequency! What do you think of that in my case! I really want to get pregnant, I have tried with 4 day cut off and abstain for 10 days in the last two months but hasn’t worked! Maybe because of 4 day cut off! I just want it to happen this month but I don’t want to lose chance of having a girl with a few attempts plus I’m worried about my husband’ sperm quality too!

  2. #2
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    Can you tell me what you mean by "taking all supplements" because many of the supplements are extremely dangerous to mix together.

    Your husband can't do abstain at 41. it isn't safe (and nor does it work anyway). He could do FR between then and now OR

    The compressed FR was too taxing. Men couldn't stick with it and it required so much "control freakishness" we've given up on it. Most people who tried it never got pregnant doing it, and quite a lot of them found their husbands were unable to BD at all when it came time for the attempt - which leads to a wasted month.

    4 day cutoff has been shown in the best study done on timing and conception to be 1 in 1000 chance of conception. 3 or even better 2 day cutoffs are much better for conception (although timing doesn't sway)

    I would be considering dropping RepHresh at this point. Now is when we start dropping things, not adding them. RepHresh hasn't worked and has really cut chances of conceiving (especially with cutoffs) so I'd not recommend that, but it's your call to make, of course.
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    Hi,

    Thanks for your reply! I was thinking vitex would help me get pregnant. I have seen it has been recommended in many websites and some people here as well! If it’s going to stop my ovulation then should I just stop it now? Wouldn’t it bad for my body to stop just now a few days before ovulation?
    I will stop cranberry tablets as well! I think I am kind of in your low everything diet because I am a but underweight obviously apart from having the banana and tomato which I don’t like anyway! Would caffein matter?
    Also, about the fr instead of abstaining, I think it is too late now because I will probably ovulate next Wednesday and it Thursday night and y husband is away working on the weekend back on Sunday so even if he agrees to release himself then that will be 6 days prior ovulation and 4 or 5 days before our bd! I’m getting worried now because I don’t want to risk the DnA damage but I still want a girl! What is the option now? I was thinking doing the compressed fr to reduce the odds of sperm quality but now that you are saying it doesn’t work, do you think I should just forget about both the FR and abstain and do the protected bd once or twice before the actual bd for ttc?! I’m gonna do only one attempt as you suggested. I was thinking of having a good plan but really worried now that things are not right! Neither my supplements are ok nor the plan to bd! I haven’t used Refresh, I was going to use it this time! So, you are saying I don’t do anything to lower the ph just to increase my chances of getting pregnant?


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  5. #4
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    Well, we have a pitiful 54% pink (as opposed to 69% for the overall success rate of the site) with vitex and when we had a statistician analyze our results they thought vitex even swayed blue! (I don't think it sways blue, but it sure is not a magic bullet for pink, either.)

    I have firsthand seen hundreds of people for whom vitex delayed or even stopped ovulation and hundreds more who stayed regular on vitex but just never got pregnant till they dropped it. Vitex was used as birth control and as a libido killer in the middle ages, hence its nickname "chasteberry". The only people helped by vitex are those with severe PCOS (and there are lots of other things that work better than vitex for them). For people without PCOS it lowers their hormone levels and in many cases prevent pregnancy.

    Since you're underweight be sure you're eating enough to not lose any more weight. You don't need to lose any more weight, just hold steady where you're at.

    I would just let hubby "do what he does" and then have the one attempt. None of the frequency stuff worked and it all caused soooo much stress and trouble for people we've mostly given it up.

    RepHresh is at your discretion. If you want to use it, it's your call to make, but it does lower odds of conception and doesn't work at all. When we analyzed our stats we found equal numbers of people getting girls with and without using it.
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    Frequency and timing for men over 40

    Thank you so much for your reply. It’s so helpful! I wish I had know you from a few months a go when I started preparing for my sway!
    I’ve stopped vitex and cranberry now but I’m CD 10 now so not really sure how it will affect this cycle and ovulation an now! Maybe I’ll lose this month and pregnancy doesn’t happen again but at least I know not to go back on it!
    I read in one of the other forums that you suggested taking antihistamine! I’ve started taking Citirizine from yesterday, does that help at all? Do you suggest using fiber supplements? Obviously, I’ve lost this cycle but I would take it as I’m now not sure from what you said there will be a success with our conception this month! Also, do you agree with jump and dump? Should I do it soon after or wait 10 mins and then do it? I’m so grateful I’ve found you!


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    Last edited by dreamgirl2; May 4th, 2019 at 09:48 AM.

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    Frequency and timing for men over 40

    I’ve just deleted the message because it seems that I am ovulating early this month!
    Last edited by dreamgirl2; May 4th, 2019 at 09:51 AM.

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    Hi again!

    Sorry, you’re probably getting annoyed by my messages now! So, surprisingly, I have seen the smily face in the digital ovulation stick today morning and literally 2,3 days earlier than I expected so you ignore my questions about 2-4 days bd! my husband is away so we can’t bd until tomorrow 1 pm and that gives us 6 days of abstaining! There is no way he can release today because he is on a shift until 4 am! Would that still be too risky for the DNA damage?! If it is, what do you suggest doing?
    The ovulation sticks also shows high surge but I’m still checking it every 4 hrs to get the darkest point to know exactly the ovulation day because last month I had dark colour for a couple of days and it was just getting darker until it was changed to light which I suppose is when I had ovulation later that day. Is there anything else I can do to increase my chances? Thanks a million!



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  10. #8
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    I don't recommend cetirizine per se. It hasn't worked and cuts odds of conception. It's fine if you want to take it but I don't think it does anything.

    Fiber may help a bit by absorbing some nutrients from your diet.

    Yes jump and dump did seem to add a little something to our success rates, I'd wait 5-10 minutes and then do it.

    So happy to be of help!! LMK if you have any more questions!
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  11. #9
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    No not at all!

    The risks of abstain are really really small. Very minor. But my thinking is why, since abstain doesn't even work and cuts odds of conception, why would we do something that may have even the slightest risk of harm since it doesn't help our sway? So it's fine to go ahead, it's really no big deal (like lightning strike possibility) but I have you guys avoid it since it doesn't help a sway anyway.

    You can't tell the ovulation day by when your OPK is darkest or when it goes negative. That's not how OPK work. All they test is the presence of hormone in your urine, but the hormone is just a "message" your body sends to itself. It can "hear" the message even when it's just whispering (lighter positive) and will still trigger ovulation, even if the message gets way louder later on, it already got the message when the signal was sent in the first place and so you'll tend to ovulate about 36 hours on average after the FIRST positive, not the darkest. And the rate at which the test goes negative does not tell you if or when you've ovulated. You can ovulate and still have positive tests for a couple days after, you can have a test go negative and still not have ovulated yet. It's just the rate at which your body clears the hormone via the urine.
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    Thanks a lot! In that case, my ovulation might be even tomorrow that I’m going to bd because I saw the first dark today morning! I’m hoping to be ok as timing is debunked now as far as I am only doing one attempt and jump and dump too. Please have your fingers crossed for my pink sway! I’ll let you know! that’s our third month trying although the previous months were with big cutoffs so really hope it works!


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