Paternal Nicotine Usage - Worth the risk?

[wsmama]

Hi ladies! Looking for some guidance. I was hoping to TTC our girl in August after being on my plan for 8 weeks. However, my husband has recently picked up the “habit” of vaping nicotine. This has caused MANY fights. I’ve heard technically it can sway girl but I’m just honestly really stressed about the potential risks to his health AND the higher chance for dna damage/birth defects in his sperm/our babg.
The experts say he’d have to be off it for 3 months to be out of his system but he has made it clear that he has no intention of quitting which infuriates me more...

Am I being overly paranoid?

[polaris.kai]

My first born was diagnosed with septo optic dysplasia in utero and they blamed it on my husband's chewing habit. However, this was after months of genetic testing, interviews and blood testing that I think they finally just threw up their hands and was like "yep! That was to be it." My personal opinion is good on you for wanting both of you to be very healthy, but if everyone in the world that smoked and drank while conceiving ended up with birth defects or disorders we would live in a very different world and they would be able to definitely say it does. I truly believe that it's just dumb luck on the lining up of someone's genetics so if he hasnt been doing it for years and years I think it will be okay. Just my personal opinion because I know many smokers and dippers that have multiple, perfectly healthy children.

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[HMama2014]

My SO has always been a smoker and our two boys are healthy.

One of my sister's smoked while pregnant and her daughter is a healthy 10 yr old.

One of my other sisters husband chews and they have five healthy boys.

Both my parents smoke and my mom did while pregnant with all six her kids and we are all healthy.

I get wanting him to be healthy because I would like my SO to quit smoking. But you literally cannot make someone do something. I would try to let it go. You told him how you felt and he knows the risks. There really isn't much more you can do. ❤️

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I think you're being overly paranoid, LOL.

Look, smoking isn't great and it's a poopy move on his part to pick it up when he knows it bothers you (my husband did the exact same thing, suddenly started smoking a pipe at the age of 40, why???????) but that having been said the risks are completely overblown and unproven (I believe because they don't want to normalize vaping, medical professionals have come out so hard against vaping that it's borderline deceptive IMO compared to what the actual risks are.)

Lots of stuff damages sperm, even things like wearing underpants LOL. Vaping appears better than a lot of other bad habits he could have and if it's not negotiable anyway, all you're doing is getting yourselve aggravated (in that control freaky way that may sway blue) trying to change something that isn't gonna change anyway.

My parents both smoked and drank (my dad has always imbibed alcohol in that Mad Men way, a drink with every meal except breakfast) when they conceived me. My mom then went on and smoked and even drank all thru her pregnancy. It's just how people did stuff back then. My grandma smoked and drank when pregnant with my dad too and both my grandpas smoked pipes.

So my advice is, try to save your efforts on things that you can actually change, maybe a compromise where he cuts back - but if he won't, let it go, it will be ok.

[atomic sagebrush]

My first born was diagnosed with septo optic dysplasia in utero and they blamed it on my husband's chewing habit. However, this was after months of genetic testing, interviews and blood testing that I think they finally just threw up their hands and was like "yep! That was to be it." My personal opinion is good on you for wanting both of you to be very healthy, but if everyone in the world that smoked and drank while conceiving ended up with birth defects or disorders we would live in a very different world and they would be able to definitely say it does. I truly believe that it's just dumb luck on the lining up of someone's genetics so if he hasnt been doing it for years and years I think it will be okay. Just my personal opinion because I know many smokers and dippers that have multiple, perfectly healthy children.

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THIS!!

Doctors will literally seize upon ANYTHING in a person's life that they can use to blame things on. For whatever reason it is very hard for the human brain to accept the reality that most things are just random chance and no one is to blame.

[dreamofdaughter]

Don’t worry. Honestly. A friend of mine who ate all organic and her husband is super healthy had a daughter with leukemia. Meanwhile people I know who are heavy pot users and smokers have perfectly healthy kids. Think of healthy athletes that suddenly die and yet someone morbidly obese who never exercises (thinking of someone in my family here) is living a ridiculously long life.

If you stop pressing him he may get bored of it and give it up on his own. Often times men just don’t like to be told what to do! (Can’t blame them, I don’t either).