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  1. #171
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    I am the mother of the cutest darling little boy, now 20 months. We are hoping for a baby girl to join our family next Fall. We will have our second attempts in November. By then I will have been on the le diet for nearly 3 months. I am sticking to 2 meals a day with coffee three times a day, lots of water & the odd Diet Coke. I am having coffee in the morning & lunch at 1.30pm which is usually a sandwich & soup, dinner at 7pm & a glass of wine 2\3 times a week. I also walk lots of during the day. I was a massive tea drinking but giving it has been easier than I managed though I do have the odd cup once or twice a week. Best of luck with your sway mama’s xx


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  3. #172
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    Hi all,

    I have been lurking all over the internet and in every book I can get my hands on trying to figure out the best way to TTC a girl. I have two boys, age 18 months and 4 months, that I now know were both conceived because of both my diet and the extreme frequency of our BD each time. Both times I got a BFP the first month we tried, but I have had increasing GD each time around as I have always wanted a girl and just cannot imagine being a mother of only boys. This is just me being completely honest. I love both my boys, but I feel our family would be most complete with a girl, as well.

    Things I have read up on include The Babydust Method, O+12, the Shettles Method (which I understand to have been based on IVF pregnancies and therefore different entirely from the natural method, correct me if I'm wrong on this), the Dutch study, Fench Diet, etc. I have kind of taken bits and pieces from some of them in constructing my sway plan below, but overall I have found the real life experiences of the women with successful sways here on Gender Dreaming to have been the most helpful and made the most sense. That's why I ultimately ended up deciding to create an account here while I'm on my TTC journey.

    DH has been convinced to try to for baby #3 as he wants a girl, as well, but we have both agreed that this will be our last baby. The reason is, I had extremely difficult pregnancies both times: severe preeclampsia, extreme gestational hypertension that lingered for several months postpartum, and two highly-traumatic emergency C-sections after failed inductions at 37 weeks (one due to a prolapsed cord, the other due to me starting to go into uterine rupture during an attempted VBAC). I know my body likely cannot sustain more than one more pregnancy, so I am trying to do everything in my power to sway girl this last time around. I have read statistics about how the more boys you have, the more likely you are to have more boys, might have been over on IG I saw that, I don't recall, so that makes me even more apprehensive about giving this one more go and rolling the gender dice again.

    I weaned my youngest a few weeks ago due to him having a breastmilk intolerance (I tried eliminating all kinds of food from my diet in hopes that would help, but nothing did). My AF had already returned, however, and I have been tracking my cycle for two months already using OPK, BBT, and CM. BBT is rather useless to me at this point because my youngest still wakes multiple times in the night so I never get a good chunk of sleep in, but I have been ovulating regularly as per the OPKs, and my CM follows a predictable cycle, as well. Last month my cycle in general was longer than usual by four days, but I was happy to see my luteal phase was a normal length despite it being so soon postpartum. I do take a Vitamin B6/B12 supplement to try to keep my luteal phase at optimal length because I had issues with that when I was TTC DS#2. I still conceived, but I has about a 10-day luteal phase which I know is cutting it pretty close.

    After reading whatever I could get my hands on diet wise, I have cut out all my supplements except the cal-mag, folic acid, and i take a cranberry supplement as I have heard a lot of folks say cranberry is really good. Because I can't exercise strenuously as I'm worried about my scar, I walk every so often when DH is off and can spell me with the boys. Other than that I have cut out all meat, not much of a meat-eater anyway, cut down on sugar, eliminated all dairy outside of skim milk, loaded up on salad greens and rice cakes, and restricted my diet to 1800 calories or less per day. I am drinking a lot of Diet Dr. Pepper for the aspartame (can't stand diet Coke), as well as a Crystal Light knockoff from my local grocery, and cranberry juice. I'm additionally trying to restrict any and all other liquids to dry up my CM if I can. I am also testing pH. Although I am skeptical of whether this matters, I figure it can't hurt and right now my numbers are about 5.5.

    I calculate I am about two weeks out from ovulating, so the plan based on what I have read here is to BD once when I get a positive OPK, then jump and dump after five minutes and see if that catches. I am nervous because I have had no problems getting pregnant with the boys, but again that was with us BD every day or every other day, so I am concerned that just once per month will not get me pregnant. We will see. DH participated in a research study just before I got pregnant last time where they took his sperm count, and at that point it was slightly higher than average, and motility was just above average, as well. I am not sure whether this helps or hurts us in the TTC girl realm, clearly it has not been a problem getting us boys! However, he was in the gym a lot more when TTC both of them, now with back-to-back babies at home I need help a lot and he doesn't work out as much. He is also a huge caffeine drinker, but otherwise eats extremely healthy. I am hoping he will take the licorice root and olive leaf extract I picked up for him, but he has yet to do so and I don't want to nag him about it.

    At any rate, I would welcome any conversation and critiques on my sway plan, or what there is of it. It really is tentative at this point and I honestly don't expect my BFP in the first month. I am just praying that pink dust will fall on us this time, I even listened to that old wives' tale and put a pink baby dress under our bed--lame, I know, I'm sorry. At the end of the day, a healthy final baby is the best outcome, even if it is a boy, and we will love our new addition regardless, but I can't help wishing with everything in me for pink.

  4. #173
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    HI and welcome 2BlueNeedPink.

    Hey, trust me - we all understand that feeling of not being able to imagine our life without that particular gender baby we're wishing for. You're among friends here.

    Unfortunately much of that info - Babydust, O+12, Shettles is as you say based on bad science and/or has been debunked. The Dutch and French Diets are also quite sketchy, just that no one has bothered to debunk them yet, LOL.

    Just to clarify Shettles wasn't based on IVF pregnancies (which didn't exist when he was coming up with his theory) but on his looking through a microscope and seeing big and small sperm, and assuming that the big ones were X and the small ones were Y. But this was never true, you can't tell the difference between X and Y sperm by looking at them. What Dr. Shettles saw was uncapacitated and capacitated sperm, and so all his assumptions about X sperm being slow and living a long time, and Y sperm being fast and dying quickly, that ALL timing methods are based on (including Babydust, the Dutch study, etc), is completely untrue and has been debunked by every reputable source that studied them using modern technology to pinpoint ovulation. You guys are are always welcome to use timing if you'd like, but just so you know going in that they don't work.

    Despite the fact that most of us on here have 3+ boys, we get 70% or even better depending on tactic used with swaying. The stats on Ingender were in people who had the same lifestyle over time, but we can help you change your lifestyle in a more pink friendly way.

    Just to throw this out here, is IVF/PGD an option?? Given your medical history and the fact that this will probably have to be your last pregnancy, I do want to encourage a thought that direction since swaying is never a guarantee and I hate to see anyone with strong gender desire who doesn't at least consider the possibility.

    I really have to suggest the B6/b12 supps be weaned off of. (don't drop them, wean off.) Many of us, myself included, got boys taking them after being told by the old school sites they were ok for a pink sway. 10 day LP is long enough to conceive with.

    I really really urge you to ditch the cranberry. The people who say it's good are wrong. The other sites track their results as a group, meaning if people don't do EVERYTHING exactly the way the site says (and often this is dozens, if not hundreds of things) they don't include the results in our stats. This means that ineffective tactics can "piggyback" on things that do work, and it makes things like cranberry, which does nothing, look effective when it's not. Since we track our results by individual tactic, we can see when one thing in isolation isn't working, and cranberry does nothing - same number of people get girls with and without it. The problem is, not only is it ineffective, but cranberry also has some risks and side effects (not to mention the nutrients in it may even sway blue) and I can't recommend it for anyone. If you must take it, that's your choice of course but be very careful not to take it during pregnancy as it may cause miscarriage, and please don't mix it with any other blood thinning supps (such as aspirin and Sudafed)

    Walking is actually the best exercise and I highly recommend it. We advise 60 min 4 or more days a week if at all possible.

    I'm really concerned you're not eating enough. Have you ever tallied up the amoutn of food you're getting?? This is not a starvation diet, and if you stop ovulating (which happens with great frequency when people cut back too far) you aren't going to be able to get pregnant without reversing course on diet and eating a lot more than that (which likely would sway blue a lot more than if you'd just held steady at a somewhat higher amount of food, since you will be sending a signal to your body that times were bad, but have improved) It looks to me like you're eating no fat, which will stop ovulation even if your cal intake is normal.

    minimum you need 40-50 g protein, 30-60 g fat, and for most people 1500-1800 calories to continue ovulating. People who are very petite can go down to 1200-1500, but that's a minority of people.

    I'm not a fan of pH testing but as long as you can keep from getting super obsessed over it (being a control freak and thinking about swaying constantly may sway blue) then it's your call of course!

    BD once and J and D after five minutes.

    We have gotten pretty bad results with LR (remember how we track our results differently, so ours are more accurate for individual sway tactics) and it's sitting at an absolutely horrifying 31%. This means that 69% of the people whose husbands took it got BOYS even with otherwise good sways. I keep it in the mix for those who can't live without it but I would never ever take it for pink, personally. OLE is fine, but honestly I have serious doubts it does anything either, but for sure avoid LR. I'd try not to worry about his diet too much, it's really not seemed to matter what hubbies do and eat anywhere near as much as ours.

    Hope this helps! Tons of pink dust coming your way.
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  6. #174
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    Hi Atomic,

    Thank you for taking the time to type out that detailed reply, you have given me some good ideas on shoring up my plan. I can definitely cut out the cranberry and phase off the B6/B12. My DH will probably not take the LR, anyway, so I can likely ditch that, as well. I do get some fat here and there in my diet, every so often I have a lowfat mozzarella stick or cup of lowfat, unflavored yogurt (although I try to limit this as I don't want dairy products to sway me blue), every day I have a TBSP of unsalted either cashews or almonds, and I will also mix a TBSP of either mayo or virgin olive oil in with the vegetable-based pasta I eat with chia seeds and broccoli. While it is true that my daily fat quotient has been drastically cut, I just came off of a fairly high-fat HE diet while breastfeeding, about 2500 calories per day, so if anything I am hoping that if I do get a BFP this month the abrupt change from high-fat to reduced fat will sway pink for me. If I don't get a BFP this month, though, I will likely have to add a bit more fat in just to sustain for another cycle; as it is I am hungry literally all the time. I think my body is probably in shock going from three big meals a day to six small grazes.

    It's very difficult for me to eat along these lines because prior to my pregnancies I was a competitive rucker (basically speed-walking with weight, I usually carried 35-50 pounds in a rucksack) doing marathon-length courses, so my diet was, although healthy, very carb-heavy and I drank a ton of water all the time. Prior to that I spent 10 years in the military with lots of running and bodyweight exercises on a continual basis, and I did competitive weightlifting for the second half of high school before that. I realize in hindsight that this pattern likely contributed strongly to me inadvertently swaying blue twice, but anyway I said all that to underscore that I am pretty unfamiliar with meat-restricted low-calorie regimens (as I said in my initial post, I don't like meat but I used to eat a lot of chicken and lean beef to garner the benefits of complete proteins) so I am kind of figuring it out as I go. I do calorie count, and though my daily goal is pretty low I usually average over that, coming in at between 1200 and 1500 calories daily. My BMI is currently in the 22s, as I have 10 pounds left to lose to get myself back to pre-DS2 weight (13 to get back to my pre-DS1 weight) where my BMI was about 21.5.

    As far as IVF/PGD goes, our insurance will not cover it unless there is a history of infertility which for us is not the case, and as a matter of pride my DH refuses to go out of pocket for something he says we can do ourselves for no cost. As you might suspect, although he also wants a girl he is nowhere near as heavily into the sway as I am. He and his family are extremely religious, and he is against PGD on principle based on that. I brought it up once--never again! He finds sway methods interesting, but thinks that a higher power ultimately decides what gender we get, and I can't demand he go against his faith no matter how much I want a girl, wouldn't be fair to him. So you see my predicament...I am very much hopeful that I am able to use the elements of sway in favor of pink naturally.

    Also, quite honestly I am a perfectionist so I feel as though knowing the low statistical probabilities of IVF or IUI "catching" the first time around would make me worry constantly about the procedure and shoot myself in the foot, so to speak, on facilitating a successful implantation. This way, all I have to do is wait for a dark OPK, DTD, and then survive the TWW (which is ridiculously long), so maybe it's better that the IVF option is off the table. At any rate, perhaps I will have trouble conceiving this time around, so it will come to the point where insurance covers it and in that case my DH would let it happen. Given my history of fast conception, though, I kind of doubt it will take us that long. I just worry that he makes more male swimmers so no matter what I do I will still fail and end up with another boy. I feel quite petty having this mindset because I see so many people on here struggling to get their BFP, and for me I know that will happen, my greatest fear is of blue coming up at the NIPT. It was so hard to handle last time around that I already dread the idea of having to weather another blue pregnancy and all the people asking about if we are going to "try again" for a girl when I know we can't after this one. I am trying to be positive, though, so I don't sway blue by having too much anxiety over something that really, when it comes down to it, nature controls and not me. Think I will have hubs take a hot shower before we DTD, though--you know, just in case.

    Recently, three of my friends have had a girl after two boys, and although they all gave me conflicting information on how they went about it (each used a different sway method/tactic) seeing them get their girls makes me feel like it is possible. I do not think there is a familial predisposition to blue, either, as I have one older sister and one younger brother and DH has an older sister (who herself has one girl, one boy). Who knows what role family genetics even play, if any, in predetermination of likelihood of gender--there are so many different factors and variables in play from generation to generation that I think that would be impossible to accurately test, or at least not with a high confidence interval--but going in knowing that there is not a long line of, say, only boys on either side gives me additional hope of success.

    One last note, my family is very unsupportive of me wanting to try for a girl after how awful my last two pregnancies were. Weirdly, I really enjoy being pregnant despite the medical problems so I have zero qualms about doing this one more time in that respect. But I could never, ever mention to either side of the family that we are TTC pink with a sway for this pregnacy. So it is nice to find a site where folks go through the same GD struggles as me, but here we don't have to hide it away for fear of backlash or social stigma. I know that healthy is the most important thing for a baby regardless of gender, and I am so thankful that neither of my boys experienced bad repercussions from my rollercoaster pregnancies. With that said, though, I don't think it's wrong to want something that hasn't come your way yet, and I know just settling on this and leaving it at two kids is not something I can do because I would always look back and wonder whether the third time would've been the pink charm for me. So I have to at least try, and I so much appreciate your help, advice, and not judging me.

  7. #175
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    Ok. The problem with this plan is that eating well, then cutting back sharply, then eating more, will be interpreted by your body as an improvement in condition (if it doesn't mess up your cycle, which it very well may). I really do urge you to eat a consistent amount of calories rather than cutting back too far and course correcting. It backfires on people in several ways.

    It's excellent news that your BMI was over 21. I'm thrilled by that and that means we're ~probably~ not in the danger zone for stopping ovulation.

    Totally cool if IVF isn't for you guys. I do like to mention it simply because some people haven't heard about it and others have a misconception that swaying will be a guarantee.

    The good news I can share is that it's impossible for men to make only or mostly boys. The reason for this is because men are made up of XY cells that divide in the testicles to make half X and half Y sperm. Now, could it be that these X and Y sperm might go on to be healthier or longer lived or better at fertilizing an egg, perhaps, but we have no data that is the case and so while it's something people worry about a lot, it's really not a thing. Take it from someone who had 4 boys over 21 years' time before getting a girl - no one makes only boys! whatever is swaying, it is likely primarily lifestyle and not genetic in nature.

    That having been said it is of course possible to sway and get an opposite. We do seem to get about 25-30% opposites even under ideal circumstances, but this is true for blue swayers too, so that indicates we're going from possibly 70% likely to have boys, to 70% likely to have girls, which is a huge sway.

    Re anxiety - the issue is not the anxiety. Set that aside. We all have tons of anxiety about our sways and there's no way of getting around that. It's a normal response to something we want so badly. I don't want to see you start having anxiety over having anxiety and assuming that every time you feel nervous about your sway, that means you're going to fail at your sway. It's not how it works. Now, as for personality factors, I'll give it to you straight, the way you are presenting your sway to me does fit right in with what we call the boy mom personality. Very detail oriented, methodical, dedicated and a high achiever, likes to be in control, possibly competitive. But that is YOU. We can't change who we are and I don't want you to try, it's only another thing for you to approach in that detail oriented way. Just trust that the rest of us have similar personality types and we were still able to sway in tangible ways via diet, exercise, and some minor lifestyle changes and still get girls. It IS possible for you to do and it doesn't require a complete revamp of everything in your life. It's funny with swaying, that the best path to success is not to force it by trying to do everything under the sun as hard and thoroughly as you can, but by setting up a lifestyle, and following it, and then trying to forget you're even doing it, LOL. Letting go of the small stuff that does nothing, and giving over control (inasmuch as we're able, since we tend to be control freaks) is the key to success here.

    So many of us have had the exact same experiences - no support from family/friends and them being directly opposed to us trying. But you're so right - there is nothing wrong with wanting something you haven't got yet!! If there were, no one would ever do anything! No one bats an eye (even admire) over people who their lives upside down and inside out...even risking their lives...pursuing dreams. Doing things like pursuing Olympic gold, driving in the Indy 500, climbing mountains, bungee jumping, traveling overseas, etc many of these things are risky in some way or the other. But for some reason, having a daughter (or a son) which is such a small and personal thing that really has no effect on anyone else, people feel fully entitled to sound off on that choice. It sucks. But yes you're totally among people who understand here and it's my hope that we can all be here to see your pink dream become reality.
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  9. #176
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    Atomic,

    Yes, I totally agree that it is easy to fall down the sway rabbit hole and want to control every piece of it. This is my first time attempting a sway and I already feel a pull towards wanting to do that. However, I am only on CD9 right now, and know from previous OPK experience that I tend to ovulate around the 18 - 20 day mark of my 30-day (average) cycle, so I have time to make some of the corrections you suggested and set myself up for the best possible chance, then just kind of leave it alone until I get my positive OPK. Thanks again for your help and for sending pink dust my way!

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  11. #177
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    Great! Keep us posted!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  13. #178
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    Will do, Atomic!

    I have just started having EWCM and a rise in LH in the OPKs, so thinking I might ovulate early this month! I am a bit concerned, though, because I looked at my calcium supplement bottle this morning while filling my weekly supply (no idea why I didn't think of this before!), and I noticed that it has 125% daily value of Vitamin D in each pill! Yikes! I am freaking out just a little because I have read your comments in several forums that Vitamin D sways blue. Normally I wouldn't be worried and would just cut the supplement, but given that it looks like O is coming up on me do you think it would be too risky to BD this month, knowing that I have been unintentionally tanking up on Vitamin D? I really don't want to do anything to compromise my sway, but this oopsie might have done just that. Should I just let this cycle go and start over next month, or still give it a try when my OPK comes up? Right now I am testing 3 times per day after holding urine for 2+ hours prior (and no FMU!) just to be sure I don't miss my peak, and I am thinking I should be getting that positive in the next 12-24 hours or so, so not really a lot of time for the Vitamin D levels to diminish in my system. I am conflicted because I don't want to lose a month, but I also don't want to have a failed sway from slipping up in one area.
    Last edited by 2BlueNeedPink; October 20th, 2019 at 12:39 PM. Reason: Typo!

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    Update:

    First cycle was a fail at achieving that BFP, even though my husband and I set up a perfect TTC-girl scenario: we DTD once when I got my positive OPK, he took a hot shower prior, I had him release shallowly (no O for me), then I did a jump n dump after five minutes. I am wondering if we should perhaps add in an attempt this month, but if we do so, when would be most beneficial to add in that second attempt? On the day of positive OPK? Husband is FR every 4 days on his own, and I am still following an LE diet and taking in about 18 oz of aspartame per day via diet Dr. Pepper and Crystal Light; only supplement I am taking is daily folic acid, 800 mcg. AF did come surprisingly early this month, and far lighter than normal, but I chalk that up to my body still evening everything out from me weaning.

  15. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2BlueNeedPink View Post
    Will do, Atomic!

    I have just started having EWCM and a rise in LH in the OPKs, so thinking I might ovulate early this month! I am a bit concerned, though, because I looked at my calcium supplement bottle this morning while filling my weekly supply (no idea why I didn't think of this before!), and I noticed that it has 125% daily value of Vitamin D in each pill! Yikes! I am freaking out just a little because I have read your comments in several forums that Vitamin D sways blue. Normally I wouldn't be worried and would just cut the supplement, but given that it looks like O is coming up on me do you think it would be too risky to BD this month, knowing that I have been unintentionally tanking up on Vitamin D? I really don't want to do anything to compromise my sway, but this oopsie might have done just that. Should I just let this cycle go and start over next month, or still give it a try when my OPK comes up? Right now I am testing 3 times per day after holding urine for 2+ hours prior (and no FMU!) just to be sure I don't miss my peak, and I am thinking I should be getting that positive in the next 12-24 hours or so, so not really a lot of time for the Vitamin D levels to diminish in my system. I am conflicted because I don't want to lose a month, but I also don't want to have a failed sway from slipping up in one area.
    Oh no I'm so sorry, I don't always keep up to speed on these support threads - I had just lucked my way into your previous post!. Please always start your own thread (click open a forum, then you'll see the start new thread option) and then I'll be sure to see it.

    To answer your first question I would not have had you wait (my justification would have been "you may not even get pregnant this month!")

    That having been said I do want to point out that even though it shook out that way this time through, you can't always or even usually know on the basis of LH rising (I assume you're meaning slightly darkening OPK) and EWCM that ovulation will be early or when it's going to happen. It's possible to have that happen and then everything simmer down for a bit, and it's also possible to have that go on for a week or even more prior to O. I regularly have EWCM and O Pain for 7 or even 10 days prior to O (I have had a couple times of CD 3 EWCM and O pains for CD 14 O).

    What times of day are you testing?? We may be able to eliminate some of those tests.
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