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  1. #11
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    Hey, thanks again!

    I got the six days later idea from when you said, based on my last charting, you would have recommended BD on day 11 and day 17.

    So, just to be clear, what if, the first month, I:
    BD on first day of OPK, then again 6ish days later (?)

    If not pregnant, on month two, I:
    BD on first day of OPK, then every four days thereafter

    If not pregnant after that, I:
    BD every four days starting at end of period

    Are all of those things still in “girl sway” territory?
    Combined with less snacking, no meat, no vitamins/supplements, maybe skipping breakfast, plus as much walking/cardio as I can get in (which is not as much as I would like, but man is it hard to exercise with kids and toddlers and a traveling husband!).
    Anything else I can easily implement that seems to have a good correlation??

    Also, I don’t eat very much dairy...is that okay? I have seen people taking calcium/magnesium supplements, as well as cranberry. Anything to those?

  2. #12
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    Oh, ok. But that's because you were trying for one attempt at positive OPK. Since we weren't sure when the actual positive came, I would have had you try at the first positive (which was on CD 11) and then again on CD 17 because you had what seemed to be another positive OPK then..

    I dont ever recommend doing anything 6 days after. That was entirely me basing a recommendation on you getting a positive OPK and then getting another one 6 days after that and not any magic to 6 days.

    There is no point to you doing an attempt 6 days after unless you get a positive OPK then! Most of the time when ovulation is delayed, it's delayed only a few days. So you'd miss being covered in case of delayed O unless that delayed O was 6 or more days after your last attempt.

    What I would have you do instead is have your attempt at positive OPK and then either a) keep testing and then have another attempt whenever that happens to fall (provided it's 3 or more days later than your previous attempt, otherwise stick with the one you've had.) OR b) have one attempt and then go to every 4 days (in the 96 hour pattern if you want better odds of pink, 72 hours if you want better chance of conception but still a good chance of pink)

    There is no option where I ever tell anyone to have an attempt and then 6 days later have another attempt, UNLESS they kept testing and got another positive OPK that day!

    Yes please DON"T eat tons of dairy. Dairy DOES NOT sway pink, it makes absolutely no sense that it does, and the "science" supposedly supporting that notion is really sketchy and terrible. The best study ever done on maternal diet and gender conceived (and in fact the ONLY one ever done by someone who wasn't trying to sell a revolutionary gender swaying method, LOL) showed that women who conceived boys had the most of ALL nutrients in their diet, including calcium and magnesium. I got my 3rd and 4th boy taking cal mag (and all four boys having tons of dairy) and gave it all up to get my girl. But I know it's hard for some to let go of so I let you guys take cal-mag supplements without vitamin D if you must.

    Cranberry does not work at all and has a lot of risks and side effects (including possibly causing miscarriage and even death). I have never recommended it and wouldn't have anyone take it.
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  3. #13
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    Awesome. I think it’s finally clicking. 😂

    So, if I can manage to stop snacking (failing so far, ugh, I’m a night owl and keep keep from nibbling while I do my work!), I think I can manage the diet and the timing part.

    So: just for one final time—I should DTD the FIRST DAY that I have an OPK, then again four days later. Yes?

    I’m sorry—just don’t want to mess this up. I finally got off the Babydust FB group because it was stressing me out reading about all the people who were having fails—and also all the people having successes! I just know this is my LAST SHOT, and I really and honestly will be so, so, so disappointed and frankly, devastated, if I don’t ever end up with a daughter. I always imagined raising both genders, and I am very close to my mom and do a lot of stuff with her.

    So the pressure I feel is immense and I just want to be very sure that I am doing everything in my power to give myself the best odds possible.

    Thanks again for your help. It’s great how much you’ve researched and learned about this over the years!!

  4. #14
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    Trust me after 4 boys over 20+ years myself I totally understand!!

    I do want to reiterate that even under ideal circumstances opposites are possible. If IVF is an option it might be something to consider, but I know it's not an option for many people (wasn't for me, either.)

    Yes, DTD the day of positive OPK and then start doing the e4d after that to guard against delayed ovulation.
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  5. #15
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    Thanks a million.

    IVF is not an option. But I want to feel like I’m doing everything in *my* power to put the odds in my favor...and leave the rest up to God!

    K. So I’m going to try really hard to follow the diet as much as possible, then start in a couple months! We will dtd the first day of a positive OPK, and then 4 days later.
    If that doesn’t work, the next month we will just start dtd every four days from the end of my period.

    Sounds like a plan!!
    Wish I hadn’t bought the Babydust book—kind of a waste of money now that I’m not going to follow it! 😝

    Thanks again for all your help!!

  6. #16
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    The problem is, though, that when it comes to swaying pink, being too control freakish actually LOWERS your chances of success. Getting all detail oriented, doing tons of things to sway that all require large amounts of micromanaging only reduces the likelihood of pink. I know it's really hard to accept, but the key to swaying is to focus on only doing the things that get the most bang for your swaying buck, and letting go of the stuff that really does little to nothing, because the more stuff you're doing, the more control freakish you have to be to keep it all going, and the more it contributes to that "hamster wheel mindset" where you're thinking about your sway 24-7. We want your sway to be like a lifestyle and the less you think about it, the better.

    Everything else looking good!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  7. #17
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    Okay, sooooooo....December is the month we were going to start trying to conceive!

    I am really torn.
    I have NOT been restricting my food intake at all, and have been snacking like a fiend and eating lots of holiday foods and treats. So I feel like I have that going against me.

    Secondly, after much consideration of our schedule and lifestyle, it feels like the ideal time to have another child would be November. (And I partially want that because I have a sept, oct, and dec baby, and am someone who is really into patterns and complete sets. Lol. And partially because the beginning of the school year, September (which is when I originally was thinking of trying to aim for), is sooo busy. I kind of would like to get them into a school rhythm. And finally, our youngest has been a demanding baby and toddler, and I feel like maybe a couple extra months wouldn’t hurt. Also, we JUST moved this week, and I’d like some time to set up and get organized and settled, and as someone who tends to get really really sick with pregnancies, I am not ready for that 4+ months of feeling horrid and unable to do much.

    BUT I don’t want to go beyond Nov—so, my ideal would be either September (conceive this month) or, even better, November (conceive in Feb).

    What should I do?? I feel like I’m setting myself up for failure...like I either will instantly get pregnant, OR I’ll THINK that i’ll Get pregnant right away, but because i’m Messing with the timing (instead of just during ovulation), it’ll take longer than I think.

    I also feel like since I haven’t been cutting back on calories or exercising or doing anything, I’m not going to have that in my favor too.

    AND my cycle has been off. Like, for the first time I think ever, I had my period a week early last month. But the month before that it was a week late.
    UGH.

    Thoughts? Plans? Advice? THis is my LAST shot for a girl, and I’m so nervous I can hardly stand it. Knowing that all this pressure is on getting it right, with no chance to go back and do things differently, is getting to me!!

  8. #18
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    I can't ever recommend putting so much import on conceiving in a particular month. It takes fully fertile people doing nothing to sway, 3-6 months to conceive and when we start thinking that we can just BD in one month and get pregnant that month, it makes people get very stressed when that doesn't happen.

    I would have you postpone to adjust your diet, though. I can't ever recommend trying a sway without diet and exercise, that's like trying to have a fistfight with both hands behind your back! Our good results with one attempt are IN people doing diet and exercise. While I will always suggest one attempt when people don't want to do diet and exercise, the high results for one attempt are only a thing if you've also done diet and exercise. If this is your last chance, I implore you not to try unless you've done diet and exercise.

    Can you tell me more about what is going on with your cycle?? A week early and then a week late?? how long was your cycle?? How are you determining ovulation?? If your period comes at a different time than normal, it will mean your period will have changed from there on in - you understand that, right? So having your period come the wrong day one cycle, means it's not going to ever go back to being on the same days (well maybe over years, but not by the very next month). If you give me more info I can better explain what is going on with that.
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  9. #19
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    Argh! If you could tell me 1-3 MUST-DOs for diet and exercise, what would they be?
    And how long do I have to do it for before trying?

    We did get pregnant the first month of trying with each of our previous children. However, I AM older now, and I get that there are no guarantees.

    I have no idea what is going on with my cycle. I usually am about 30 day cycle. But in October it was like 35 days, and then in November it was 22 days.

    I had been testing ovulation with the LH strips to see when my peak is, but I think it’s pretty clear that I ovulate for a long time (i have multiple days of dark lines), with a pretty long window of obvious symptoms: cervical mucus, very sore boobs, etc. Last month, for instance, I started on Nov 6th, ended Nov 12th, had ovulation symptoms from the 21st till about the 27th, with the very darkest line showing up on the 25th.

    I literally feel paralyzed by the idea of having this one shot.

    And i don’t know why I can’t stick to a diet *at all*, except that it’s the holidays, we have lots of family birthdays going on now, it just feels like I’m SURROUNDED by parties, get-togethers, family dinners, and a house stocked with cookies and cakes. Like I said, I am a huge slacker and I’m struggling! We’ve also had vacations, we just moved and we’ve been doing a lot of take-out and restaurants while we get settled and unpacked. And the weather here is cold, miserable, snowy, and wet—I haven’t been outside walking like I do so often in nicer weather, and we aren’t members of a gym, and I Just feel like a slovenly glutton lately!

  10. #20
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    if you find you can't stick to diet, just go vegetarian if possible (or even just as much as possible, with some wiggle room for holiday meals, etc.) We've had decent results with that for people who can't do the full LE. Going vegetarian plus adding in the 60 min. exercise a minimum of 4 days a week is even better. You DON"T have to do everything, you can just do a couple things, it's still a sway!!

    If you do want to do LE Diet, the key (when you're a person who tends to struggle with diet) is to just tweak the diet till you get to something you can stick with. There is no magic to sticking to the overall LE Diet to the fullest extent, ANY changes you make in a pink friendly way from what you were a) eating recently - more important and b) what you were eating when you got boys - less important.

    When you're in a situation where you're eating out a lot and it's the holidays, I have some tips. Holidays and restaurant meals are not dealbreakers, and weirdly, many people have found it's actually far easier to stick to the diet in this situation because everything feels like a treat!! Much easier than the people who are going on day after day eating nothing but rice cakes and Craisins LOL (no one do that please!!!)

    For sitdown restaurants: You can have an appetizer or salad and dessert (I do this to this very day as it's also a great way to prevent overeating and spending $$$$ when dining with rich friends, LOL) OR, you can order an entree and then eat half of it or even just a third of it, and then plead fullness and take the rest home in a doggie bag for 2-3 more meals. It is NOT so much about the foods you're eating as about the overall amount of cals, protein, and fat you're eating, so you can manage that with portion control much easier than with the "magic food" approach (which does not work at all!) You can also order things like vegetarian options, salads, pasta where the types of foods are more LE friendly, but those things can have a surprising amount of cal/pro/fat in them so you're better off also using the "doggie bag" trick.

    For fast food restaurants: They have salad options, Wendy's has baked potatoes, and my personal trick of having fries and a cookie LOL works quite well. You can have a child's hamburger or corn dog, they have barely any protein. Or other appetizer (some of the restaurants have a lot of appetizer options now like egg rolls, taquitos, that kind of thing) Again, it's a matter of making choices in what you order to end up walking out of the restaurant having eaten a smaller portion than you normally would because it's making changes from what you WERE eating that matters, not having a certain tiny set of foods.

    For holiday eating, it works much the same but here's the magic trick to success on any diet - figure out what you want and have it. DON'T try to get by with eating 4000 rice cakes and a massive bag of Craisins, at which point you will realize "OMGosh I just ate 3000 calories of nothing, screw this" and you'll end up having the stuff you really wanted to begin with, and 10 other things besides because you'll see the day as a wash and will decide "I'll have whatever I want because I'm going to start over and do everything right tomorrow" This sets up a binge and purge cycle where you're alternating back and forth between depriving yourself totally one day and then turning around and eating way too much the next. In every situation, but especially when surrounded by temptation, have the thing you want! Just don't eat 20 other things first. You'll be shocked when you realize you ended up eating a lot less than you normally would have by having things you actually wanted, LOL.

    Re exercise, you don't need to join a gym. You can exercise at home with free videos on YouTube and still get good results. They have some fun cardio ones from Blogilates and PopSugar fitness, just focus on the more cardio stuff and less musclebuilding. Some of them have short musclebuilding exercises, so just walk in place or do jumping jacks or whatever during those parts if you come across them.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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