More likely to have another same gender baby

[Greydore]

I haven’t been on in awhile, but my husband told me last night he wants a fourth baby. We haven’t decided yet (three has truly been the hardest transition, baby is 20 months and I’m still in survival mode). I’ve been reading some studies on sex ratio in families. I read an interesting one and of course can’t find the link now but I’ll keep looking. It was a study on over 6000 Danish families and the sex ratio of their kids. Families with mixed gender kids tended have less kids (makes sense). Families with boys were the most likely to continue having babies, and after each boy the chances of having another boy increased. After the 4th boy the odds of another boy were 54%! Reading this kind of makes me think, what’s the point? I know anecdotally plenty of women have girls after 3 boys, but I don’t think that will be me. I just...have such mixed feelings. I’ve never been drawn to little girls, I don’t care about the pink stuff or the supposed mother/daughter bond, so why do I feel like I should have a girl? I don’t know if I’m worried about the reaction I would get if we have a fourth boy? (It was bad enough when we announced our third was another boy). If I feel like I’ll be missing out on something? My older two sons both asked for a sister, which makes me sad because I just know we would have a boy. I’m so confused and torn, thank you if you’ve made it this far!

[Pretty]

Hi there! I recognized you from my last sway and just wanted to say good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[mommymachine]

I had 3 boys first and remember feeling the “what if I never get a girl” feelings so well. I truly did not know if it was possible. I promise you it’s possible! No matter what the stats are.


3 blue 3 pink

Swaying blue in May!

[Greydore]

I had 3 boys first and remember feeling the “what if I never get a girl” feelings so well. I truly did not know if it was possible. I promise you it’s possible! No matter what the stats are.


3 blue 3 pink

Swaying blue in May!

I’ve seen your signature before and never even thought about that, lol. I know that it happens for other families but I just don’t think it will for me, if that makes any sense. I don’t even understand why I’m feeling this way because I’ve never been a woman who has a deep need for a daughter. I do know this would be our last baby (I’ve said that twice now though) so it feels like a last chance with the odds not in my favor.

Good luck with your upcoming sway, I’ll be following!

[Lailanela]

Hello. Did you sway for any of your kids? So does your DH want another baby or especially a girl? It sounds like he wants another baby. You are asking what's the point, well I will be trying for number 4 soon and when I'm thinking it will be another boy I'm also thinking I want another child. Another little person. Another baby to cuddle and watch him grow. And I'm thinking about the future and actually I want to have rather four than three adult kids. I want a big family and four is pretty big for me. And most of these points have nothing to do with baby being girl or boy. I'm dreaming of another little person that will become a great adult. Maybe ask yourself what you imagine in the future. I know most people want mixed families but there is something beautiful in family's with a lot of one gender. 4 adult sons would be unique and you will forever be their queen and you can help them become four handsome gentleman.
On the other hand after 3 boys I think your chances for a girl are great! I love to read about big families and somehow almost all have a mix someday. Monarchs, the duggars and so on. Even if they have a lot of one gender some baby will be an opposite. And with swaying you can up your chances totally!
Btw. 54% would be from normal people(that already had some sons) and I would say a few of them would naturally have a boy-friendly lifestyle. Personally I don't think 54 is that high.
And personally I think one of the greatest problems are judgmental people. Those people that always need to say something (hurtful). Sometimes I think if I would live in the woods with DH and the kids I would have as many kids as I want and I think it wouldn't bother me if I got a lot more boys. (I adore them). What stresses me are all those people with their stupid comments. I'm already thinking what I want to say when baby will be a boy. (And I'm not even ttc yet!) What helps is to remember those people will always find something to comment on. If you have one kid, it's a poor, lonely one. Three are too many, god forbid even more! A lot of girls with one boy, then it's a poor boy with all these girls! I think nobody can win with these people, they are unhappy souls that want to drag everyone down with them.
Don't let that happen. Think about what you and DH want. Good luck on your journey whatever you decide. ❤

[Greydore]

Thank you for your kind response, Lailanela! I did not sway with any of my kids; I considered swaying with my third but ultimately decided not to because I knew I would be happy with another boy (he’s the most precious thing, I’m so glad he’s the boy he is). And maybe I worded my post wrong, I meant more ‘what’s the point of swaying if my chances aren’t great?’ Rather than ‘what’s the point of another baby?’ I’ve always been pretty vocal about being happy to have all boys; I love their energy and how much they love their mama. My husband has never cared whatsoever about the sex of our kids, he’s happy either way. My parents had four girls and my mom got a lot of crap for not having a boy, so they’re very careful not to say anything about our kids’ genders (they have 5 grandsons now and no granddaughters). But my dad did tell me that my mom is wanting a granddaughter. And of course I get endless comments when I’m out with all 3 about not having a girl. So maybe it’s outward pressure I feel to have a girl? I don’t know.

[atomic sagebrush]

Having boys is statistically slightly more likely but that is WITHOUT SWAYING. Most of us on here who have swayed have 3-4 or more boys and yet our results are 70+ success rate. So it's clear that swaying is actually boosting our chances quite bit. It's no guarantee but your chances are not going to be 54% boy with swaying.

I completely understand your befuddlement - I WANTED a boy with my first, was thrilled to have two boys, and was very happy to have boys for 13+ years before I decided to go for a third. And when I got pregnant I had no gender preference at all!! The way this just comes out of nowhere for so many of us has led me to believe it's something innate that happens and not something explainable really. In fact, I actualy think a lot of people "find" reasons for some innate emotion. I see just as many people saying "I had a bad relationship with my mother so I need a daughter" as I do people who say "I have a wonderful relationship with my mother" - there is no rhyme or reason to this at all, the desire seems to come from inside and really defies explanation for many of us.

[Greydore]

Thanks atomic! It’s good to know there are others who feel/have felt like I do. I’m not sure where these feelings are coming from, but I know some of my unease and sadness come from the fact that we are maybe done having kids, and that has always been extremely emotional for me (seriously, I’m so jealous of women who have their set number of kids and just know that they are done). I also felt already defeated about swaying because I won’t do much of the diet aspect (ED history and not willing to risk relapse) and I know that’s a huge part of the success of the sway. Anyways, we’ll hopefully decide in the next couple of months whether we want to take the leap or not.

[atomic sagebrush]

We have plenty of ways to sway without diet changes. Just let me know if I can be of help!

[Greydore]

Thank you! I’ve asked before so I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. If I remember correctly, the next best things to do are cardio and one attempt? And supplements don’t do much? I don’t have access to clomid.